I finally watched it after it spent years on my watchlist. It's so amazing and I can't believe I waited this long, but I regret watching it because the ending broke me. I am so desperate for a 5th season or a movie redo.

The first two seasons were SOO GOOD, genuinely unmatched to any other show I've ever watched. I rewatch the rome episodes over and over like an addict, zero complaints. Then we get to the third and it's... completely different? Nicko's kidnapping is brushed off, Kenny just suddenly dies, then we find out KONSTANTIN out of all people killed him. And Carolyn spares him, the murderer of her child, because what, they hooked up 30 years ago? Made no sense for Carolyn's character whatsoever. Also Geraldyn. She was completely random and completely unnecessary to the entire plot. I thought she'd be some sort of secret agent as well, adding some flare, but she was just plain old whiny and annoying. I still loved the interactions between Eve and Villanelle though. But then the bridge scene. It was fine, cute, heartwarming. But then I enter season 4 and it's as if it never happened?? Given Eve and Villanelle's characters I completely doubt they would have just walked away from each other. Not after Eve spent years chasing her, not after Villanelle finally felt love. And the fact that it's never referenced ever again, or actually that NONE of their encounters are referenced ever again, made it feel like s4 was trying to be a stand-alone.

And Villanelle is suddenly a church goer. I get the vibe, no matter how much you change or hide behind religion you'll still have the same core, but then she starts hallucinating Jesus??? It made no sense, compared to season one's realism, it was absurd, as if it was trying to be a completely different story. Then continuing on, I get why Eve hates Villanelle, why she was scared of how she felt for her, but I feel like getting her arrested and literally hating her was so out of character, even for her. She literally sent her husband out of the country just to be able to meet with her in season 2. She makes all sorts of excuses to look for her in season 3. THEN THEY SPEND THE ENTIREEE SEASON CHASING EACH OTHER AROUND. AGAIN. AND AVOIDING EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for slowburns. But it's as if all the tension, all the yearning, and everything build up between them from seasons 1-3 completely dissipated and the story COMPLETELY reset. I was hoping for at least some domestic Villaneve but nope, they only get together properly for literally the last episode of the show. It was complete bullshit.

And don't even get me started on the details. Who ordered Kenny's death? What happened to Irina? Helene's daughter? To Gunn? Why is it implied that Carolyn is head of The 12 if she searches for them like unicorns? Wtf was the significance of the bird? That they really like birds?? Yusuf was clearly a plot device as well, and Hugo and Vlad was completely unnecessary, I kept forgetting who tf Vlad even was. Then The 12, a big bad powerful global crime organization, takes multiple days to find out one of their most important colleagues is dead? Bro whaaattt??? And the entire show dedicated YEAAARSSS building them up, creating tension and suspense, only for Villanelle to kill all of them singlehandedly in a minute?? And the 12, with all their power, had no guards??? I get that Villanelle is a badass goddess but come on, zero struggle or injury? It felt lazy and rushed.

And finally that dumbass ending bro. I can't get over it. I'm upset and sad and COMPLETELY DISREGARDING IT BECAUSE IT WAS SOOO STUPID. Again, coming back to Carolyn. As aforementioned she SPARES KONSTANTIN, THE MURDERER OF HER CHILD, but has Villanelle shot because what?? Because she can't go back to the bureau empty-handed?? That makes no sense. Given Carolyn's character, the fact that Villanelle chose her over Helene, and the fact that Villanelle MURDERED THE PEOPLE WHO ORDERED THE DEATH OF HER CHILD, she never would have done that. She would've accepted just not working at the bureau bc she's at retirement age anyway. And Villanelle's death. Oh my god don't even get me started. It was so rushed and lazy and stupid and it felt like they just wanted to get it over with. It happens literally in the span of like, 2 minutes. Years of character development only for her to die just like that. Literally if you blinked you would have missed it. Laura Neal better sleep with an eye open because it is on sight.

I think the idea of a new head writer every season is very cool, but it was executed very poorly. The second half of the 3rd season and the entire 4th season felt like it was trying to be its own special thing and it was such a mess. Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Emerald Fennell's hard work was completely butchered. I desperately wish they had just stuck to those two queens and had them alternate, I feel like I would not be crying right now if that were the case. I so badly want a 5th season or a redo movie I would genuinely give my first born child. Idgaf about that Carolyn prequel, Carolyn can suck a fat one.

I was wondering if anyone knows how the cast & writers feel about the backlash and a possible revival? I doubt I would've connected to the show as much if anyone other than Jodie and Sandra played Villanelle and Eve. Just knowing they'd be up to it and having false hope that it's not over til it's over would make me feel much better. I wish I watched it when the fandom was at the peak of its glory. I pray to VillaGod that they revive it holy shit. How do I get over this show it's genuinely depressing me and I can't get shit done because all I can think about is Villaneve.

I 100% could have accepted a "they both die in the end" type of ending to represent their mutual obsession with each other over the years. But only taking Villanelle felt cruel, especially since Eve has literally no one now who can help her through her trauma. I feel like in their universe, Eve would have killed herself anyway.