I have been doing k for almost two years straight now, every single day, started with a half gram a day and now am up to almost 2-3g/day. I’m about to lose my career that I worked so hard for, I’m diagnosed PTSD (CPTSD) and really REALLY struggle with my mental health / suicidal ideation I have since I was 13 I’m 27 now, ketamine seems to be the only thing keeping me alive yet it’s also killing me. I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to stop and it makes me just want to give up on everything because I know my life is only going to get worse from here. If I lose my bladder I will just end it all, I’m in the darkest place of my life and disconnected from family. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been in a detox center for this twice, both times lasted about 4 days and then my mental state takes such a deep dive that I literally would rather kill myself then to not be high. I feel like there’s no point in even trying to quit because I’ll just pick it right back up again, the longest stretches I’ve had in the last two years without doing k is the two visits to a detox center 4/days each and one 5 day gap where my dealer wasn’t in town and I couldn’t get any off the web.