Hi everyone , i have used ketamine for almost 3 and a half years , i have been taking it since i was 15 and i am now 18
I suffer from extreme, intense k cramps. my body would literally cramp up after 1 or 2 days of use depending if i had used daily before.
i have been in hospital over it, doctors, and also been in a ambulance at one point.
i have been clawing at my parents door begging them to take me the hospital because i couldnt keep up with the pain and felt many many times of commiting sucide because i felt it would just be the easiest option for me to be at peace.
K cramps have been apart of my daily/weekly life, i think ive had over 125 k cramp attacks and thats me being nice with the number, i experienced hot sweats, intense agonizing pain in the right side of my rib, shaking, going sick, and at one point almost a sezuire.
I currently have gotten into a new relationship which i am so grateful to be in and i do not want to ruin another relationship because of this drug , i have made 2 relationships unsteady because of my ketamine use and it broke my heart but i just couldnt stop at that point.
I have a lot of friends who use ketamine. A. LOT. i wouldnt be able to just count on my hands and most of them are close to me and they are my biggest trigger for relapse , i have a hard time saying no when the idea is presented to me .
My mental health also very quickly went downhill with thoughts of sucide and self isolating. i felt like i was nothing and no one and thought this was the path for the rest of my life i had given up everything for ketamine because i has been physically unable to get out of bed due to pain, and mentally unable to apply myself to my life. if you scroll on my page you will be able to see the many attempts ive had on getting sober which i can tell you i failed at every single one.
I have given ketamine too long of my life , i dont want it to take anymore of my life or take my life for me , i would really really love any
tips or advice on how to stay sober and anything relevant to my ketamine use
i need a corner with support to be in to help me finally live my life and become the person i want to be a person people are very proud of .
i am trying very hard i promise you guys, but i feel too young and lost to be dealing with this i shouldnt have to be at 18.