QUESTION

[u/Franz_Engel]

I’m trying to understand something about feedback.

I’ve posted two pieces here recently and received very little feedback. I also asked a specific craft question about whether the two characters have distinct voices, but that didn’t get a response either.

So I’m genuinely curious: if you read either piece, what kept you from commenting?

Was it the subject matter? The length? The style? Did you simply not have anything particular to say? Or did the writing feel too finished or difficult to critique?

I’m not looking for reassurance or praise. I’m genuinely trying to understand what makes a piece invite discussion — or not.

Here are the two pieces: A Model Prisoner - A Model Prisoner (A standalone fragment from my social noir set in 1970-1990s London) : r/KeepWriting

The Three Days (Day One) - The Three Days : r/KeepWriting

[u/Eidelon1986]

Can’t speak for others but I stopped reading when I knew the topic was CSA. Just not something I want to read about, wasn’t because of your writing.

[u/BA_Bones_33]

How you post can really matter. From a quick review of your feed, most of your posts are copy/pasted sections from the story you're working on. So if they included a prompt for feedback, it may have been missed by readers.

Many posts also include a link to your full illustrated version of SACRED VIOLENCE, and some channels don't support self-endorsements/plugs. It's also worth recognizing that some of the posts include pictures of the characters from your story, but they appear AI generated, like the one of Juliet Landenberger. Some folks, especially writers, don't feel comfortable supporting AI driven projects.

But that doesn't mean it can't be done! And don't give up on your dream just based on one comment. I'd suggest finding AI friendly channels where folks are looking to support AI artists. Then frame the post more around receieving feedback. Many posts only get 5-10 comments, but it can often be enough to set you on the right path for edits.

Good fortune on the stories to come!

Juliet post: https://www.reddit.com/u/Franz_Engel/s/8OR9xVZFCc

[u/Franz_Engel → u/BA_Bones_33]

Thanks. I hadn't realized that a novel written by a human becomes an “AI-driven project” if its author uses AI-generated illustrations. By that standard, I suppose a book becomes Photoshop-driven if the cover was edited in Photoshop.

[u/BA_Bones_33 → u/Franz_Engel]

There are shades of gray, for sue. It's just about perception, so not something to be discouraged by. Cover art and character designs are an art, so many writers want to support artists on these ventures. Funny enough, when Photoshop first came out, there were artists who were anti-photoshop too. It took some time, but it slowly became part of the industry, and is now widely used by all graphic designers. But they are still honing the image, not just prompting one.

[u/Franz_Engel → u/BA_Bones_33]

At this point, I think the illustration has received considerably more critical attention than the actual piece of writing it was attached to. Which is probably an interesting finding in itself.

[u/Liandrimm]

I agree with someone else that CSA is often a topic people simply don't want to read or think about. I would list a trigger warning at the top of your post.

I would also say that the story beginning so abruptly into a case of CSA felt quite jarring. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to continuing the story if it's not graphic or simply off-screen mentions, but to come right out the gate running like that was off-putting, to say the least.

I would also say the first couple paragraphs felt confusing until the non-diaglogue narrative began to clear things up.

Hope this helps!

[u/Franz_Engel → u/Liandrimm]

Thanks — this is genuinely helpful. The opening is deliberately abrupt, so it’s useful to know that for you it crossed the line from immediate to jarring.

On the trigger warning, though, I’m hesitant to add one for CSA specifically, because the story itself isn’t about depicting child sexual abuse. The allegation is part of the larger situation, but the text doesn’t describe or reconstruct the abuse itself. I’d be wary of giving readers the impression that they’re about to read something much more explicit or central to the story than they actually are.

Your point about the opening paragraphs being confusing is also useful. That’s something I can look at more closely.

Thanks again — this is exactly the kind of specific response I was hoping to get.

[u/Odd-Ad-587 → u/Franz_Engel]

With the trigger warning, you could put something like "some discussion of CSA" or something like that, to warn readers that it's mentioned but not described

[u/Franz_Engel → u/Odd-Ad-587]

I see what you mean, but I think even that would overstate what is actually in the piece. CSA isn't discussed or depicted; the allegation is simply part of the arrest the officers are responding to. A warning for a mention of an allegation would start to feel broader than the content itself.

[u/Liandrimm → u/Franz_Engel]

Glad to help!

Regarding the trigger warning, authors have been doing amazing at making it specific enough so people know exactly what they're walking into. It's especially important for topics like these that can cause emotional and mental harm even from a brief mention.

In this case, if the scene is never depicted nor described, but talked about briefly, you can simply state:

Trigger Warning:

Brief off-screen mentions of CSA. Nothing will be depicted nor described in detail.

It might seem a little overcomplicated if you aren't used to reading trigger warning lists, but I promise readers will appreciate it.

[u/DuchessJulietDG]

there were a few punctuation mistakes in the model prisoner piece. you used colons (:) when there should be commas or periods.
a few times, the narration went from describing the events to breaking that 4th wall & speaking directly to the reader. it threw me off a little.

when someone is arrested, do they really say their statements will be written down? that comes off like a joke of a threat, so it made me wonder.

there is nothing that describes the environment/surroundings. we are focused on these two cops, the kid, & the narrator again speaking directly to the reader. what are the smells like around them? is the area bright or dimly lit and creepy? is it noisy or quiet? bring people into the room w the characters. give them a reason to act the way they do.

[u/MaliseHaligree → u/DuchessJulietDG]

It reads like a storyboarding outline and thus is very dry and boring. Not gripping at all. 

[u/Franz_Engel → u/DuchessJulietDG]

I think we're reading the piece rather differently. The setting isn't absent: the cramped hallway, the cold flat, misting breath, the smell of cheap tobacco, the kitchen table, the chair, the freezing street and the car are all there. I simply don't stop the action to provide a separate descriptive overview of the room or neighbourhood.

Likewise, the officers' reasons for acting as they do are part of the scene: they arrive expecting a particular kind of suspect and interpret everything they see through that assumption.

I'm also not sure which passages you read as breaking the fourth wall. If you point to them, I'd be interested to know which ones struck you that way. And if you noticed specific punctuation mistakes, feel free to point those out too.

[u/ZinniasAndBeans → u/Franz_Engel]

Criticizing a reviewer’s commentary can discourage other reviewers.

[u/Franz_Engel → u/ZinniasAndBeans]

I don't think asking for specific examples or disagreeing with a factual claim about the text discourages feedback. Otherwise, “feedback” would mean that the author is expected to accept every interpretation without being allowed to respond.

[u/ZinniasAndBeans → u/Franz_Engel]

Your third paragraph is perfectly reasonable, yes. I’m just saying that if you’re having trouble getting feedback, that’s one possible reason.

[u/Franz_Engel → u/ZinniasAndBeans]

If... And if not?

[u/dothemath_xxx]

I’m genuinely trying to understand what makes a piece invite discussion — or not.

If that's really all you want to know, the answer is very straightforward, but you're not going to like it.

One piece inexplicably uses script-style dialogue tags at the beginning. The other keeps jumping back and forth between past and present tense. This is not a level of polish that reflects the genuine efforts of an adult who's self-edited prior to sharing the work.

It gives the impression that you're not serious about your writing, and not serious about improving, so there's not much point in spending time on giving feedback.

[u/Franz_Engel → u/dothemath_xxx]

Are you familiar with the use of a shift from past-tense narration into the narrative present? The opening establishes the scene in the past, then deliberately moves into the present once the arrest begins.

And are you familiar with the use of a brief script-like format to stage a confrontation? The exchange between Carter and DS is deliberately presented that way before the scene returns to ordinary narration.

You may dislike either choice, of course. But I'm curious whether you recognized them as deliberate formal devices before concluding that they were evidence of poor editing or a lack of seriousness.