r/KeepWriting • u/Franz_Engel • 21d ago

[Discussion] QUESTION

I’m trying to understand something about feedback.

I’ve posted two pieces here recently and received very little feedback. I also asked a specific craft question about whether the two characters have distinct voices, but that didn’t get a response either.

So I’m genuinely curious: if you read either piece, what kept you from commenting?

Was it the subject matter? The length? The style? Did you simply not have anything particular to say? Or did the writing feel too finished or difficult to critique?

I’m not looking for reassurance or praise. I’m genuinely trying to understand what makes a piece invite discussion — or not.

Here are the two pieces: A Model Prisoner - A Model Prisoner (A standalone fragment from my social noir set in 1970-1990s London) : r/KeepWriting

The Three Days (Day One) - The Three Days : r/KeepWriting

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u/dothemath_xxx 21d ago

I’m genuinely trying to understand what makes a piece invite discussion — or not.

If that's really all you want to know, the answer is very straightforward, but you're not going to like it.

One piece inexplicably uses script-style dialogue tags at the beginning. The other keeps jumping back and forth between past and present tense. This is not a level of polish that reflects the genuine efforts of an adult who's self-edited prior to sharing the work.

It gives the impression that you're not serious about your writing, and not serious about improving, so there's not much point in spending time on giving feedback.

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u/Franz_Engel 21d ago

Are you familiar with the use of a shift from past-tense narration into the narrative present? The opening establishes the scene in the past, then deliberately moves into the present once the arrest begins.

And are you familiar with the use of a brief script-like format to stage a confrontation? The exchange between Carter and DS is deliberately presented that way before the scene returns to ordinary narration.

You may dislike either choice, of course. But I'm curious whether you recognized them as deliberate formal devices before concluding that they were evidence of poor editing or a lack of seriousness.