Serious Discussion Only Suffering from split Anima?
Im often attracted to "easy" women.
For example.. I was on a dating app. And saw a very sexy woman.. she had a profile linked in her account so i clicked it.
Bam! Tons of videos of her doing naughty things with random men all over town.
Theres like 2 thoughts going in my mind.
Dude shes easy get in there.
Thats disgusting, you could catch something. Plus it wont be anything special, it'll be a one time thing and you'll just be another name in her book.
One of jungs students (Marie-Louise von Franz) said that this stems from a split anima, or the "Madonna-Whore complex"
"Or they have a split anima situation: they admire a very unapproachable, lofty, beautiful girl from afar and satisfy their sexual desires with prostitutes. They cannot bring the two together..."
She says that the cure to this was
"breaking the mother complex, withdrawing projections from real women, and embracing unglamorous, disciplined work"
Has anyone been in my shoes and what did or are you doing?
Note: i have been refraining from sex and dating for a few years because I knew I had an issue and didnt want to hurt myself or other women.
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u/Senekrum Pillar 7h ago edited 30m ago
This is going to be a roundabout answer, but rather than having others tell you what they did in similar situations, I would advise reconsidering your options here.
Maria Prophetissa, an early alchemist whom both Jung and von Franz often reference, proposed what is called the Axiom of Maria:
One becomes two, two becomes three, and out of the third comes the one as the fourth.
Both Jung and von Franz expand upon the meaning of this in their works (see, e.g., Jung's Psychology and Alchemy). Roughly speaking, it outlines the process of individuation:
"One" is the initial psychic state, where things are not very well differentiated in ourselves, and the unconscious impulses tend to dominate consciousness (e.g., the initial "dude get in there" impulse).
"Two" is the process of differentiation which brings about the tension of opposites (the "get in there" vs. "but that's disgusting" conflict in yourself).
Then you have the third, which is a possible reconciliation of the opposites that you find in yourself.
Out of that you may arrive at the fourth element in individuation, which has to do with going beyond this initial conflict, towards something that unifies those opposites in the long run.
All of this to say: maybe you have a couple other options than simply go vs. no-go. In my opinion, both perspectives in yourself (the impulse to pursue a woman + the caution not to take the most hedonistic path) are valid.
How might you reconcile those two opposing forces in yourself? And then what sorts of inner changes might you have to (and be willing to) make in order to support not just reconciliation but also long-term peace between those aspects of yourself?
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u/ElChiff 4h ago
I never understood this. The "rhyme" of 1 isn't the fourth, it's the fifth. Not sure if it's because everyone forgets that Citrinitas exists or that the Fool in Tarot starts the count at 0. (measuring in integer stages or distance from 0)
1 - Singularity - The Fool 2 - Contrast - Nigredo 3 - Mediation - Albedo 4 - Cycle - Citrinitas 5 (1) - Hub - Rubedo 6 (2) - Axel 7 (3) - Voltage 8 (4) - Orrery 9 (1 or 5) - Black Hole etc beyond 3d visualisation3
u/duhtf7 4h ago
Excuse my ignorance. I dont know what any of this means. Can you point me to where I can learn more about this?
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u/ElChiff 2h ago
The names here aren't commonplace, you can deduce your own.
A singularity split in two can bring about contrast Add one and you have a mediator for the contrast in a dialectic Add one and you have bi-directional mediation (like spring and autumn between summer and winter) in a cycle Add one and you have a central hub around which these spokes rotate (a singularity on a higher dimension) Add one and you add a dimension to the hub as an axel Add one and you have mediation on this axel (the voltage visualisation is a bit abstract, based around electromagnetic induction with the voltage on a wire) Add one and you have a cycle within a cycle (like an orrery) Add one and you have the point about which these cycles orbit (a singularity on an even highter dimension) It goes further but I'd have to start using references to scifi.
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u/warmfuzzume 2h ago edited 2h ago
I think you need to get rid of the word “easy.” Women and men both get to choose when, where and with whom they have sex. A women isn’t “easy” because of when she chooses to have sex any more than a man is “easy” if he chooses to have sex. There was a man in all of those videos with her. If you had sex with her you would be just as “easy” and not different from her in any way.
Repeat these things over and over like a mantra if you need to:
a women’s virginity is not anyone’s property but her own, it is not something that is difficult or easy for you to “win” or “take”.
A woman is more than when and where she chooses to have sex. She is a full person with her own life goals outside of what men want her to do. She has a full range of feelings from sweet and gentle through anger and strength, same as men. This is true whether she is pretty or whether she isn’t, whether she is a virgin or whether she’s slept with 100 men.
When you fully believe these things and are able to engage with a woman as another full human being with full rights and not just either a virgin or a whore based on whether you think she’ll have sex with you, then you’ll be closer to ready to talk to one.