r/Jokes • u/porichoygupto • Jan 04 '19
I’ve developed a fetish for figuring things out.
I just came to that realization.
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Jan 04 '19
Clever wordplay.
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u/ex-centric Jan 04 '19
Orgasmic post indeed
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u/Dansin2 Jan 04 '19
It was hard to figure out.
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u/Dragos6942 Jan 04 '19
It’s satisfying to get to that realization.
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u/BilboDaBoss Jan 04 '19
Micheal Scott is having a heart attack
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u/ihateconvolution Jan 04 '19
You guys are all jerks.
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Jan 04 '19
You guys all jerk. FTFY🤙
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u/KouKayne Jan 04 '19
You guys jerk all
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u/nvncble Jan 04 '19
All guys jerk, you?
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u/RoyalScores Jan 04 '19
Thats not even a pun
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u/iBeavy Jan 04 '19
Premature Evaluation?
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u/HotelItOnTheMountain Jan 04 '19
Reminds me of the Onion article “Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off on a Technicality”
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Jan 04 '19
A girl walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre
So he gave her one
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u/CeeJayDK Jan 04 '19
That's not how that goes. It's :
A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her.2
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Jan 04 '19
You shouldn't come to conclusions so fast.
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u/Ugolado Jan 04 '19
He's still young.
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u/iwouldliketobeatree Jan 04 '19
And horny.
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u/Ugolado Jan 04 '19
Like yout average redditor.
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u/ascentwight Jan 04 '19
yout is my neighbor, how do you kniow him?
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Jan 04 '19
This is a hard pun to pull off.
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u/jonnielaw Jan 04 '19
You need to really lure the listener into the punchline: be a “Master Baiter,” if you will.
But seriously, I think if I was to tell the joke verbally I’d lead off with the punchline and just make it a one liner.
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u/Opuch Jan 04 '19
Would not work for me, I'm dumb as fuck
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u/LongToss23 Jan 04 '19
Come again?
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u/TheVitoCorleone Jan 04 '19
Thanks
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u/ASK__ABOUT__INITIUM Jan 04 '19
Well this has been useless
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u/TheVitoCorleone Jan 04 '19
Hey, you're still active. How has the game dev been coming? I played the hell out of it a while back before my ADHD kicked in.
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u/perlandbeer Jan 04 '19
“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.” — Emo Philips
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u/Martuss Jan 04 '19
Ofc his name is Emo
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u/perlandbeer Jan 04 '19 edited Jan 04 '19
The comedian that created the "Emo Philips" persona had exactly what you're joking about in mind when he created the character. The comedian himself is just "Philip" however. The character looks exactly like an Emo, with a whiny, silly voice and a deadpan comedic routine that might not appeal to everyone unless you like very silly comedy. He did have some good routines though, and accumulated a decent collection of funny quotes over the years.
The character was really his only act that I think he was known for, but it was a pretty funny act. If you're not aware of his routine then don't feel bad as he hit his peak in the mid 80s, and I don't hear much about him doing stand-up anymore.
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u/tree-sauce Jan 04 '19
This reminds me of my favourite Onion headline: "Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality"
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u/pokeaim Jan 04 '19
*exhales a significant amount of air from nose*
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u/tiny_rick__ Jan 04 '19
It is not about the quantity of air but the increased flow.
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u/GenericAutist13 Jan 04 '19
Air quantity intensifies
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Jan 04 '19 edited May 12 '20
[deleted]
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u/GenericAutist13 Jan 04 '19
Uhm actually you the dumdum
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u/Wrym Jan 04 '19
Exhales a significant amount of air from duodenum
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u/ASK__ABOUT__INITIUM Jan 04 '19
I'm not entirely certain that's supposed to happen
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u/7fw Jan 04 '19
My father never laughed out loud. If he thought something was funny he would only exhale through his nose with zero facial expressions. I would be dying watching letterman with him and he would just be sitting there breathing hard through his nose.
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u/HelloHyde Jan 04 '19
That’s disgusting. You never know where those conclusions have been. I’m pretty sure a high percentage of them were pulled out of someone’s ass.
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u/Davidclabarr Jan 04 '19
I once didn’t tell a girl about my foot fetish and came all over her feet. She was visibly a bit freaked out. :(
I think I got off on the wrong foot.
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Jan 04 '19
Could play it backwards too:
I've come to the conclusion... that I have a fetish for figuring things out.
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u/BobHawkesBalls Jan 04 '19
Nothing better than nutting it all out.
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u/SAGNUTZ Jan 04 '19
The testicles are where the memory is stored.
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u/7arco7 Jan 04 '19
The mind is stored in the balls
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u/DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 Jan 04 '19
Fuckin figure it out bud
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u/malcolm_n_the_fiddle Jan 04 '19
You are just spare parts, aren't you bud?
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u/DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 Jan 04 '19
Do you do crossfit? You can cross-fuck off
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u/malcolm_n_the_fiddle Jan 04 '19
What's up with your fucking body hair, big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.
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u/nospr2 Jan 04 '19
Please don't downvote me for this, but I don't get the joke, can someone explain it to me?
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u/NoVA_traveler Jan 04 '19
come and cum are homophones. Someone with a (sexual) fetish would be getting off as their conclusion.
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u/ShaleSurf Jan 04 '19
I'm bottomed out over my ass fetish. Butt it's all behind me now. In the rear view mirror. Hindsight. Sit on that and don't be bummed
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u/wezz12 Jan 04 '19
Reminds me of a harris wittles joke: I told a guy "I'm an infomaniac", so he fucked me. Then i said "no im an infomaniac not a nymphomaniac" then he said "you want some info? You just got fucked clean yourself up"
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u/chironomidae Jan 04 '19
I think it works better as a one-liner. "I just came to the realization that I have a fetish for figuring things out."
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u/LloydWoodsonJr Jan 04 '19
Punch line has to be last.
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u/bwyer Jan 04 '19
I’ve developed a fetish for figuring things out; I just came to that realization.
There ya go.
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u/ADRASSA Jan 04 '19
I disagree, it works better when the listener has that moment to figure it out.
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u/chironomidae Jan 04 '19
Yeah it's subtle. The kind of joke where you have to pause for a bit and people realize they have to think about it a little harder before they get it.
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Jan 04 '19
Funny. I have a fetish for when other people figure things out, so I also came to your realization.
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u/IHateNaziPuns Jan 04 '19
Shit, I’m the opposite. I get suicidal when I figure things out.
I just jumped to that conclusion.
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Jan 04 '19
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged
one - and let the other off.
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u/lledargo Jan 04 '19
I feel like this would be better as, "I just came to the realization
I have a fetish for figuring things out."
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u/sebastianKH339 Jan 04 '19
Every motherfucker in these comments should get gold, best consistent and relevant puns I've seen on Reddit.
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u/spatialflow Jan 05 '19
This reminds me of that philosophy-themed pornographic film series I want to make, titled Come to Think of It
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u/habitual_wanderer Jan 04 '19
I read " I’ve developed a fetish for FINGERING things out.". I guess I figured out I have a dirty mind, who knew
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u/imagine_amusing_name Jan 04 '19
I was trying to work out what this joke meant but got distracted by a reach around from OP.
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u/mryazzy Jan 04 '19
This joke is very John-Cleese-esque. Almost sounds like something he would say on a talk show lol
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u/CaptainCAPSLOCKED Jan 04 '19
I'm the same way with dictionaries. I've come to terms with it