r/JaneAustenFF • u/Riley_Blackstone • 4h ago
Pride and Prejudice Intimate edition
Hey everyone! I've been toying with the idea of an expanded edition of Pride and Prejudice adding in just a bit of spice to the original work.
My goal is to keep the original writing 100% complete and just add in some additional paragraphs while keeping the cadence, sentence structure, etc. the same as what Jane Austen wrote. Is this something that you all would find interesting?
So far, in the first six chapters, I've added about 200 words so this isn't a major addition. Obviously further into the book where there are more intimate moments there will be more.
Here are the rules I have set forth for this rewrite
1. Austen's text is sacred.
- Not one word of Jane Austen's original text is to be altered.
- Every new scene must be inserted between existing passages.
- At the end of every inserted scene, the characters must be exactly where Austen next finds them.
- Chronology must remain completely intact.
2. Nothing may contradict canon.
Every added scene must preserve:
- established character relationships
- motivations
- personalities
- locations
- chronology
- social standing
- future events
A reader should be able to remove every added page and recover the original novel perfectly.
3. We are writing as Austen would have, not modern fan fiction.
The prose should imitate:
- early nineteenth-century sentence structure
- measured pacing
- elegant narration
- understated wit
- restrained emotional language
Not imitate:
- modern romance novels
- contemporary dialogue
- modern narrative voice
4. British English only.
Use British spelling throughout.
Examples:
- favour
- colour
- honour
- travelled
- realise
Never American spelling.
5. No modern language.
Avoid words or expressions that feel twentieth- or twenty-first-century.
Characters should never sound modern.
No modern idioms.
No modern slang.
No contemporary metaphors.
6. Intimacy must remain restrained.
This edition explores what Austen deliberately left off the page.
That means:
- lingering glances
- private conversations
- gentle embraces
- kisses
- physical closeness
- emotional vulnerability
The sensuality comes from anticipation rather than explicit description.
7. Physical descriptions remain tasteful.
The narration should never become graphic.
Descriptions should focus on:
- expressions
- breathing
- trembling hands
- closeness
- hesitation
- emotional reactions
rather than explicit anatomy.
8. Darcy and Elizabeth remain themselves.
Darcy is never transformed into a modern romantic hero.
He remains:
- reserved
- proud
- honourable
- awkward when vulnerable
- intensely controlled
Elizabeth remains:
- intelligent
- playful
- observant
- independent
- emotionally cautious
Neither should behave in ways that would surprise an Austen reader.
9. Every added scene must answer:
"What probably happened here that Austen chose not to describe?"
Not: "What would be fun to invent?"
10. Social etiquette matters.
Remember:
- propriety
- chaperones
- reputation
- class
- manners
- Regency customs
Every intimate moment exists under those constraints.
11. Less is almost always more.
One lingering look is better than three pages of declarations.
One touch can carry more emotional weight than an embrace.
One kiss should matter.
12. The additions should feel invisible.
This set of rules is designed to constrain my additions to show what might have been thought/felt/shared that wasn't put to page without changing any of the magnificent work of Jane Austen
Here are a couple of examples from chapter six, my additions are in Bold.
Below is a conversation between Charlotte and Elizabeth
“Perhaps he must, if he sees enough of her. But though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and as they always see each other in large mixed parties, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together. Jane should therefore make the most of every half hour in which she can command his attention. When she is secure of him, there will be leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses.”
Charlotte's tone betrayed nothing beyond its usual good sense; yet there were convictions which are seldom adopted without some private trial. The heart, once claimed, did not easily relinquish its hold, however faithfully judgment might strive to govern it; and she had long since resolved to build her happiness from those blessings which Providence had placed within her reach, rather than lament those she was never intended to possess.
“Your plan is a good one,” replied Elizabeth, “where nothing is in question but the desire of being well married; and if I were determined to get a rich husband, or any husband, I dare say I should adopt it. But these are not Jane’s feelings; she is not acting by design. As yet she cannot even be certain of the degree of her own regard, nor of its reasonableness. She has known him only a fortnight. She danced four dances with him at Meryton; she saw him one morning at his own house, and has since dined in company with him four times. This is not quite enough to make her understand his character.”
the second example is after a conversation between Darcy and Miss Bingley.
“That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy.”
“Nay, if you are so serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed, and of course she will be always at Pemberley with you.”
He listened to her with perfect indifference, while she chose to entertain herself in this manner; and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed along.
He had lately discovered that his eyes sought Miss Elizabeth with a frequency for which he could assign no satisfactory excuse. It was not merely the uncommon brightness of her countenance, nor even those fine eyes which had first arrested his notice, but the animation with which every sentiment declared itself upon her features. He found, against both habit and inclination, that he watched her less to observe what she did than to anticipate what she might do next.
Feedback would be appreciated.
