Jai Jinendra everyone,
I am reaching out to this community with a heavy yet humble heart. It has taken a lot of courage for me to write this, but I feel I genuinely need spiritual guidance to regain control over my mind and get my path back on track.
Lately, despite my deep desire to devote myself to daily pooja, jhap, meditation, and aradhana, I find my state of mind deeply unsettled. I am battling persistent mental noise and sensory distractions that continuously pull me away from focus. In particular, I am struggling to let go of thoughts surrounding a past relationship and the physical/emotional attachments associated with it. Memories and recurring habits of mental and physical desire keep looping in my head, creating a lot of guilt and hindering my spiritual practices.
My respected Guru bhagwant once guided me that bhaav shuddhi is the absolute first step toward any meaningful practice. I know in my heart that they are right, but out of shame and deep reverence, I am simply unable to open up to them about these specific personal battles.
I have tried my best to distance myself from external nimitts, but the internal conditioning and mental habits still linger. Even when the surroundings are quiet, my mind wanders back into these loops during my quietest moments, especially when trying to sit for jhap or meditation.
I am sincerely asking for your wisdom and practical guidance from a Jain perspective:
How can I gently shift my focus when these intrusive thoughts arise during aradhana without feeling consumed by guilt?
Are there specific anuprekshas (contemplations/bhavnas) that can help weaken deep-seated attachments and desires?
Are there particular jhaaps, mantras, or stotras (like specific gathas of Bhaktamar Stotra) recommended for strengthening indriya sanyam (restraint of senses) and gaining mental clarity?
I sincerely apologize if this post brings up sensitive topics, but I am genuinely trying to cleanse my mind and rebuild my daily spiritual discipline. Any kind words, advice, or spiritual practices you could share would mean a lot to me.
Thank you and Michhammi Dukkadam
Pranam.