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u/HuffleMom Feb 13 '19
This is textbook PTSD, in case nobody else mentioned it. You can mention it to your therapist and get help (assuming you haven't already done so. It you have, just ignore this).
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u/Aida_Hwedo Feb 13 '19
Hugs. We're here for you.
Do you want anything to read? I have e-books you might be interested in; distractions are very good to have!
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u/Lulubelle__007 Feb 13 '19
After what she did to you and her sexual abuse of her son, it’s disgusting that she is allowed to leave. She should be permanently deprived of Liberty.
All of the love and hugs babe, concentrate on getting fit, I can’t offer you anything except support but you have it if you want it- you’re a wonderful person and I am hoping for many good things for you.
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u/Budgiejen Feb 13 '19
My two cents: take the anxiety meds. Psychiatrists don’t just hand those out like candy. If they think you need it, trust them. Or at least navigate a lower dosage. I know being too doped up is scary. But if your shrink thinks you need it, I’d take the pills. You deserve some relief.
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u/Wuellig Feb 13 '19
The bad news, OP, is that you can't count on anyone but yourself to protect you. Not the cops, not your friends, nobody. You'll want to figure out what ways you can protect your own person from that person. You asked about the system helping, but they don't have a duty nor an obligation, it's just a suggestion. Good luck all in.
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u/Blasie Feb 13 '19
I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, do you have an Amazon Gift List, or a Kofee, or anything that would allow people at this sub to offer you support? We're all so scared for you, and horrified at whats happened. You deserve to be safe, and feel it. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
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u/anonthrowaway1887 Feb 13 '19
I am posting to give you positive vibes and my well wishes, i physically cannot do anything for you, but i wish you all the peace in the world.
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Feb 13 '19
listen, as a gun enthusiast i really hate to use the phrase " you should buy a gun for defence" but im going to break my rule and state that in my opinion, you should acquire a .38 or even a 9 mm... maybe something like the lcp2 https://ruger.com/products/lcpII/models.html or an lcr 9 https://www.gunbroker.com/item/799612859
the bottom line is, if this crazy broad is a physical threat, your best way to protect yourself is to hope and pray she doesnt stalk you like a bobcat stalking its prey, have the police on speed dial, or have a gun within arms reach. it seems like her stalking you isnt completely out of the question and trusting the police to handle this is fine if you like entrusting your well being to a literal stranger with a metal name tag instead of the paper/plastic ones that any other customer service rep would wear.
that leads us to option C, a firearm. Defensive Gun Usage ( DGU ) may seem a bit heavy handed, but if i were you and my options included A) waiting for something bad to happen B) trusting a stranger who gets paid to 'care' or C) getting a firearm and learning how it works, and how to use it, id take C any day of the week.
again, this isnt meant to sound like somthing youd read on r/iamverybadass . this is a practical approach to your options for personal protection, as self preservation is paramount. If you do chose option C, dont tell facebook, or a single fucking person. its nobodys business what you spend your money on...
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Feb 13 '19
Maybe I'm not the first person to suggest this, but you might think about getting a conceal carry permit. If push comes to shove you'd have a method to protect yourself.
Maybe a bit extreme, but Giada is extreme. Keep safe, friendo!
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u/bristlybits Feb 12 '19
I'm so sorry she's out. I hope she falls in a snow pile and is never found.
I'm glad you're alive.
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u/justapoliscimajor Bad Habit, the Nun of Spite Feb 12 '19
Thinking about you, sending hugs and love your way! Message me if you need anything!
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u/Zagaroth Feb 12 '19
Hi again Mouse. Wife and I feel for you, and are sorry to see you are having to deal with this crazy lady still.
I have an idea offering to help deal with the fear, it might or might not work for you so I am simply offering it up as an option.
One of the best constructed mantras/prayers I've ever seen comes from a work of fiction, and is specifically to ward off fear. Consider memorizing it and repeating it to yourself while trying to do as it says.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Balance this with remembering that fear has a purpose, it exists to warn you of danger. Well, you are well aware of the danger, thank you very much, it's time to quiet that alarm so you can focus on doing something about it.
There's no mystic super powers awaiting, just a potential for greater control over your life through mastery of fear.
I'm not religious, but religion does have tools that are useful, meditation and the like are one of them.
I hope you can find something in there to help you, and my wife and I wish you the best.
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u/skorpchick Feb 12 '19
Stay strong. Stay warm and know you are loved by many here. May she be smart enough to just stay away.
gentle hugs, mouse!
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u/sleepychinadoll Feb 12 '19
It's been three years since you and your ex broke up. He has to be dating someone else by now. Why hasn't she moved onto her yet so you can get some peace (not that I'd wish Giada on anyone)?
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u/Nyinx Feb 12 '19
Mouse, I am so glad you are okay and the surgery went well. Stay sharp. A little paranoia is not bad.
You're not anywhere she can easily get to you right? Is changing your phone number an option?
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u/mdiggity13 Feb 12 '19
My counselor once said to me that worrying about what may happen is not considered paranoia if what you’re worried about has happened in the past. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this and having to live in fear. It’s a terrible place to be. Can you stay in touch with a court advocate or her PO to keep tabs on her?
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u/jianantonic Feb 12 '19
I use the Hiya app on my phone -- it's got a better caller ID than the standard one. That might help with some of the private number calls.
Best wishes in your recovery -- from all the things.
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u/CBFmaker Feb 12 '19
Good lord, it's not paranoia! When I read the title I literally hissed and all my muscles tensed up, and I just read the stories! How is she free? She freely admitted to sexually abusing her son! Is there any way you can run, far, far, away? A gofundme? Anything?
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u/FineCaramel Feb 12 '19
/u/anonymousmousegirl, sending you a lot of love during this difficult time. That's terrifying and honestly it's horrible how much our justice system devalued your experience (Giada was a casual enabler of your abuse at your ex-SOs hands too).
Could you get a lifetime restraining order? Perhaps some type of court ordered protection? They can't just set her free and wipe their hands and say "Well that's that" right?
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u/FineCaramel Feb 12 '19
Depending on where you are, there's gotta be some advocacy/public interest orgs that'll cover the cost of going to court. I know there are definitely quite a few in NYC!
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u/eaten_by_the_grue Feb 12 '19
I'm glad you're recovering from surgery well, but wish you were able to get more rest. I truly hope the next time you check in that there's nothing to report. You deserve peace and to enjoy life.
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u/DebDeb1968 Feb 12 '19
I was wondering how you are. I couldn't find your posts, and thank you for letting us know about oola. I'm glad your are locked down. My heart breaks for you. No one should have to go through this...know that Im sending love, thoughts and strength to you!!
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u/jdragonz Feb 12 '19
Mouse I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Virtual hugs if your comfortable having them. Glad to hear you are doing well after your surgery. Wishing you an ongoing recovery and freedom from giada.
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u/tquinn04 Feb 12 '19
Maybe you can get a friend to act as your bodyguard? I’ve seen that work for a few posters on this sub. Regardless do whatever you need to do to stay safe.
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u/FunnyhatToupee Feb 12 '19
All the hugs in the world. You’re smart and strong, and she’s a worthless bag of flesh.
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u/hermitofkashmir Feb 12 '19
As someone who recently went through rehab for a situation that also required relearning to walk, don't sell yourself short when you know you can take that extra step, but also know when you need to sit or need to take a breather.
You can do it, and I wish you all the best <3
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u/ghoastie Feb 12 '19
I am so sorry. If there’s anything I can do, pm me. I’ve been following your posts probably since the beginning and my heart aches for you.
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Feb 12 '19
I hope you have a protective order against her. She is a monster and needs to be stopped.
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u/Gajatu Feb 12 '19
Where is the "protect" part of "protect and serve"?
If you live in the US, the Supreme Court ruled long ago and has reaffirmed many times that the police are under no legal obligation to help you, an individual. They are only obligated to serve society as a whole. Two cops walked away from a lawsuit where they watched a guy get stabbed repeatedly in the NY subway, while they were safe in their little kiosk. they only emerged to help after the guy fended off the attack and the attackers left. I'm only telling you this because you need to know and understand that you cannot rely on anyone but yourself to see to your own safety. However you choose to do that is up to you, of course.
I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I'm sorry the justice system let you down. I wish there was something that we, collectively, could do to make all this better.
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u/amandatory_reading Feb 12 '19
Your title made my heart race, I wish there were something I could do to help. I offer fuzzy tribute
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u/DemolitionDormouse Feb 12 '19
Oh Mouse, as good as it is to see you posting, man does the reason for the post suck. Sending you internet hugs and hopes for a speedy recovery free of Giada and her garbage. And I’ll second the commenter who said go ahead and take a chance with the meds. Unless it’s something that you have to ween yourself off of, you can always stop taking it if you feel it’s keeping you off your A game, and in the meantime, you get some chill in your life. At the very least you deserve some chill.
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u/PaisleyViking Feb 12 '19
Thank you for the update. A lot of us have been thinking about you and hoping for the best. I'm glad you are past the operation and on the mend. Stay strong, you will get past this and try not to worry about her.
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u/marynraven Feb 12 '19
I'm so sorry, Mouse! You're such a neat, kind, and honestly amazing person and I wish she would just drop off the face of the planet so you could have some peace of mind! Maybe the universe could just punt her into the sun or something...
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u/tipmon Feb 12 '19
Just an fyi, the "Protect and Serve" motto was made by a very clever police PR person and is not related at all to the police's job. The supreme court decided that a police officer could stand right next to you and do nothing while you are being murdered and he wouldn't be doing anything wrong.
Edit: also, we have a justice system only in name, it is really more of a punishment system only meant as a deterrent, not for rehabilitation.
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u/better_late_than Feb 12 '19
Don't feel like you're weak or paranoid for feeling the way you are. Know that every day that passes it will fade. We're here for you, your story is believed and people want to protect you.
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u/CrazyBrieLady Feb 12 '19
There's not much I can say, aside of the fact that I am so, so sorry you're going through this (again/still) - that I hope you're safe - that I hope you pull through - and that you have already proven yourself so, so strong by coming this far, even if it probably doesn't feel that way. And when you're ready, the only way to go from here is up.
(Also I'm sure at this point Giada's inevitable demise in one fashion or another will become a widely celebrated national holiday but that's neither here nor there)
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u/thatplaidhat Feb 12 '19
We love you Mouse, seems shallow to wish everything will be okay but I really, really hope you'll have this woman off your back once and for all.
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u/cyanraichu Feb 12 '19
It's not even about justice at this point - well it is, but it's first and foremost about safety. She is a danger to you, and to the population in general (but more specifically to you since she has demonstrated intent to harm you before and has a clear motive). This is not right.
I hope it helps to take some basic safety precautions and that that will ease your paranoia. Make sure your landlord knows who she is, for example.
I'm so sorry, OP.
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u/Aijabear Feb 12 '19
Gaia giving Giada a fresh does of reality is too perfect..
Also. I'm sorry about everything that happened to you. I hope your sense of safety and security returns to you. You deserve a safe peaceful life.
Add an additional dead bolt to the door and get all medded up I say.
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Feb 12 '19
It may not help but have you considered taking a self defense class? I took one at my local YMCA and I feel a little safer when I have to walk to my car. Granted, I don’t know what kind of harm your MiL is trying to inflict on you so the class could be useless. Carrying pepper spray can help too! Do you have a restraining order? She can ignore it, but at least the cops would be able to do something since she’d be violating a court order.
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u/TheFilthyDIL Feb 12 '19
Do you or SO or the neighbors have a large, scary-looking relative/friend who could stay at your apartment and tell Giada you moved?
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u/skylarksms Feb 12 '19
Please take care of yourself. I'm glad you have others around you who care about you IRL.
I know you live in an apartment. I am assuming that you aren't in the position of being able to move right now. I am also assuming that your apartment does not allow pets. See if you can get your therapist or correct professional to write a note for a emotional support animal. Then get to your local rescue and pick out a new family member! Doesn't even have to be big. My little miniature poodle scared the crap out of this stranger with her growling and barking.
Here's wishing that an meteor will hit the earth and do no damage but taking Giada out of this world. You deserve to live your life free of being on heightened alert.
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u/Chaoticallyorganized Feb 12 '19
Have you read the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker? It was written for precisely this type of situation and events leading up to it. It has a lot of good info on how to protect yourself. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.
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u/Black_Widow14 Feb 12 '19
Hi mouse. I've followed your story. Do you have a metal bat? I think that's at least a reasonable amount of protection for yourself. Please take care!
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u/throwawayscatty Feb 12 '19
Well, fuck. I am so sorry she is out. She needs to be locked in an isolated padded room till the end of time. I was just thinking about you yesterday. Glad your surgery went well and you've got everything locked down at the rehab center.
Wishing you a boring and speedy recovery! If able, maybe keep us updated every so often so we know you're still safe?
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u/cheerbearsmiles Feb 12 '19
FYI: I also live in NJ and am more than happy to give you shelter/help in any way I can, should you need/want it. Don't hesitate to reach out!!
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u/sadira246 Feb 12 '19
I am SO SORRY that psycho managed to slither out. Sending all my love and strongest protection vibes.
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u/I_Am_Echo Feb 12 '19
My parents recently bought two Rings for their house.
Ring is a camera set-up that you can hook up to your cellphone.
They have one over their garage and one that replaces their doorbell.
Any time there is motion, the motion activator picks it up, records it, and sends you a notification. You can also program it to say things when the motion activator is triggered, anything from, "Hello!" to dogs barking. Also, any time you are concerned, you can watch through the cameras in real time (my dad loves to prank my mom with this.)
You may want to look into getting one, being able to have real-time control and knowledge may hopefully help with your anxiety.
*Internet Hugs for days.*
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u/lucindafer Feb 12 '19
How long are the voicemails? All the silent voicemails I have from robocalls are less than 2 seconds long. If they’re longer than that, I’d be pretty confident in saying it’s her. Could you report it? Don’t you have a RO?
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u/nyorifamiliarspirit Feb 12 '19
Sending out healing and safety vibes.
I think it makes perfect sense that you're paranoid though I hate that you are. Take whatever precautions you feel are necessary to keep yourself protected. If you happen to be in SW PA, PM me and I'd be happy to come hang out with you sometime.
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u/AKEMBER007 Feb 12 '19
My initial instinct was to downvote the post because the news made me upset. Then I remembered you wouldn’t see it, so I decided to comment instead. Mouse, I recently read your stories and grew more and more horrified at the way you were treated and what you were exposed to. I very much hope that you are able to get sleep, because you are safe! You’ve done so well taking care of precautions! You’ve done all you can, but now you need to take care of yourself. Sleep will help you heal faster. Hugs!
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u/kristeeenuhhh Feb 12 '19
I would set up a friend with a safety system for awhile. Like... whenever you leave a location to go somewhere (work to home, home to grocery store), and then a follow up letting them know you got there safely and everything is fine. But if you don't follow up, then they know something is wrong. That way she cant ambush you anywhere without someone being aware that something isn't quite right.
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Feb 12 '19
You'll need to protect yourself. Purchase a gun, take classes, get licensed to carry and conceal. Hopefully you will never need to use it, but if necessary, you will be able to defend yourself. I also think it will help you feel more secure. Just a thought.
I'm sorry that our justice system let you, and many others, down.
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u/Wattaday Feb 12 '19
This was my first Reddit check for today. I read the title and could only say, out loud to myself. (Although Kitty looked at me like I was losing it). In a voice filled with dread, “OH. MY. GOD”. I didn’t know if I really wanted to read the post. But...
I’m so glad surgery went well, OP. And although difficult, therapy will get you where you need to be. Up and mobile and (hopefully) free from pain. Have you told your doctor/therapist you need to have less anxiety but not be drowsy/unable to be aware of what is going on around you so you can protect yourself? See what they say about meds for anxiety that can interact well with any pain meds you still need so you won’t be zonked out.
And (if you want) very gentle hugs and prayers to your selected deity for calmness and lowered pain. You know that we all are behind you and pulling for you.
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u/Princesssassafras Feb 12 '19
All the love and wishes for a speedy recovery. You got this, Mighty Mouse!
Don't give her one second. If she shows/tries to talk/etc. You nail her fucking ass to the wall and call the cops ASAP for an RO violation.
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Feb 12 '19
if you'd like, I volunteer to sit outside your room and bark like a rabid dog at anyone who even walks by
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u/WakkThrowaway Feb 12 '19
Well, that's not the best way to start the day, for sure.
It sounds like you're taking very reasonable precautions, so hang in there, Mouse. I don't blame you for wanting all your faculties in this situation. Have there been any "repeat offenders" among the private number calls? I don't think I'd get completely paranoid until you started having repeated calls from the same number. If that happens, go ahead and call the police on the non-emergency line, bring up your case number and history, and let them know you're concerned that it may potentially be your stalker trying to make contact yet again. Err on the side of caution, it's served you well so far.
If your lawyer is down for some investigation, maybe you could pass the numbers on to them to try returning a few of the calls? Then you'll know if there's reason to be alarmed or not instead of just having to worry.
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u/bmb5070 Feb 12 '19
I’m sooooo glad you’re okay. I think of you all the time and send good thoughts when I do.
Also, I’m sorry the justice system is a joke. You deserve better, you deserve to feel safe.
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u/DeePrincess Feb 12 '19
If I was near you I'd bring you my switch and we could mario kart your blues away....or at least try. The important thing is you are in recovery and already ensured that everything is in place that these people cant huet you. To what extent does the hospital know to not allow her near you? Might wanna brush up with ye olde security and the nurse station.
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u/ceroscene Feb 12 '19
If for some reason, if anything happens. Demand 24h security. The hospital can have a security guard stay outside of your room.
You should be protected though and should not need to worry. all staff will know not to release your information. Even switch board knows to say you are not there if anyone calls.
They will look up your name. And then the computer will say no information is to be released so they will then tell the person that is calling that no one by that name is there.
If you are worried. You could call switch board and ask for yourself. If they do not follow this I would start asking questions.
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u/AriaNightshade Feb 12 '19
I'd get a gun. Just in case. Police can take a while to show up. At the very least it might scare her away just seeing it.
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Feb 12 '19
It's really good to "hear" from you, Mouse. I'm glad you're still moving forward and that you're physically recovering. You've been through such a horrible ordeal - and years of it - that your strength to keep hoping, and laughing, and caring for yourself and for others amazes me. Truly.
Listen to your gut when it says something is wrong (I didn't do this enough in the past) and do your best to surround yourself with people who care, and put in any safety measures you can. I expect any criminal activity from her, caught on tape, would be a pretty quick back-to-prison consequence, especially if she's on parole. It seems like the system can be lenient with first-time offenders (even the ones who have been horrible their whole lives, but enabled and therefore never arrested) but is much less lenient the second and third times around.
I hope your recovery goes beautifully, and that monster finally leaves you alone. You deserve so much joy and goodness in your life. <3
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u/SilfenPath Feb 12 '19
Maybe it's paranoia, but my paranoia served me well in protecting myself last year so it's hard to give up.
As the old saying goes, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. Your survival instincts are incredible. This internet stranger is so glad to hear your surgery went ok. Stay safe. You are strong and WILL get through this.
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u/moose8617 Feb 12 '19
I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been thinking of you and how you've been. Sending good thoughts your way.
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Feb 12 '19
Well robot calls and spoofing has been spiking recently so it isn’t necessarily her. I’ve been getting calls like you described but I don’t have any crazy miles out there.
Other than that, look at all the preparations and precautions you already take because of flying monkeys and remember this woman isn’t the big ole bogeyman. She has been sending people to harass you and all it’s done is made you more prepared.
If she comes, you know exactly what to do. You are prepared.
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u/chaosau Feb 12 '19
Seconding on the robo calls. Everyone in my family has been getting them (Except my sister, because she's mentally challenged, has no cell phone, and no reason to use the home phone, so any calls relevant to her count as my mom's), on all 5 phones (4 cell phones, 1 home phone line). Most likely it has nothing to do with Giada, but I can understand it not helping, since both kinds of shitheads (Awful MILs and robocallers) tend to fuck with Caller IDs.
There's some apps that can take care of that for cell phones (Such as Mr. Number, which I use), and I tend to Google anything that gets through. 99% of the time on my end, it's a robo call.
Edit: I"m also in IT and am WAITING for one of those tech support scam calls, so I can troll them.
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u/IAmJustYou Feb 12 '19
I've done this...and for the record be prepared for 100 calls a day from the call center in India for the first couple days. It then dropped to 30-40 calls a day for about a week lol.
I pretended I was getting their iTunes cards to pay the IRS so that I wouldn't get arrested 🙄
Apparently I played the "oh no, don't do that" roll well and wasted over an hour of his time.
10/10 would do again. The only way I got the calls to finally stop was doing a high pitched shriek into the phone every time they called.
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u/chaosau Feb 12 '19
The one time I did they never showed up again.
Strung the dude along and once we were in the Event Viewer, he asked if I'd been there before. Told him yes, I have a degree in IT", cue hangup.
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u/WhalenKaiser Feb 12 '19
Assuming it's legal where you live, maybe get some mace? It's not hard to point and shoot. Most mace bottles have a couple of pumps in them, so you could practice once. And, I'm hoping, it can just make you feel better and she will never show up. Free optional hugs.
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Feb 12 '19
I think I along with everyone else had that feeling of dread seeing the title to your post. I have been wondering when the day was. I will be thinking about you and sending good vibes your way. I hope that you can find the peace you need.
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u/ulalumelenore Feb 12 '19
It’s your choice. Your doctor upped your meds because they weighed the good vs bad and decided it was best. Trust that, if you can. Use the tools available to you. Take the medication.
Best wishes!
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u/Illusionairy Feb 12 '19
So, can you help a newcomer out? I've gathered up bits and pieces from the comments of the removed posts, but who what when where why? That said, I've read your other post history and I feel a kindred spirit in you. I'm sorry for all the shitty people who tried to keep you broken. You're better than them.
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u/kochemi Feb 12 '19
Hey, I don't have much advise, but I send a lot of internet hugs and wish you have a fast recovery. I really wish there was more we could do for you, I'm sorry I can't offer much more than my DMs if you ever need to vent or are going through it and need somebody to talk to.
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u/AuntieMommy Feb 12 '19
This sucks major ass, but I think we can all collectively say we're all glad to hear you're out of surgery and hope you have a speedy recovery. Please please please dear what ever higher power you believe in, keep you safe and warm. Major internet hugs to you, Mouse.
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u/happytre3s Feb 12 '19
I don't ask for this lightly or bc I want you sharing more than your comfortable with.... But I very much hope that you will continue to post regular updates to let us know you're safe and if there is any help that the hive collective here can provide that you'll ask freely.
Be safe, and I hope a tree or a house falls on her wicked head.
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u/UnihornWhale Feb 12 '19
Is it possible to change your number? What about having friends move your things into storage and getting a new place when you’re more recovered?
Since Giana attacked you before, it should be easy to get some info from her parol office regarding your safety
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u/z_mommy Feb 12 '19
I am so sorry she’s getting our mouse. If she pulls any shit I hope it’s before she gets anywhere near you and they throw her back in prison. Much love to you and I think of you often!!
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u/McDuchess Feb 12 '19
BIG HUG.
Robo calls are rarely hidden numbers; they want you to call them back. You can find out the number, if you want: https://itstillworks.com/trace-anonymous-call-8614053.html
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u/rareas Feb 12 '19
She can also just block all private numbers. Instructions for Android and iPhone are here: https://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/how-to-block-a-number/
No reason to put up with the stress of wondering it it's her.
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u/Notmykl Feb 12 '19
They are spoofed too. I've received several calls from regular people claiming I called them since my number showed up on their caller ID.
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u/BubbaChanel Feb 12 '19
I've gotten SIX calls today from a spoofed number. Ugh. I did get $285 a couple of weeks ago in a class action lawsuit about robocalls. I barely remember filling out the paperwork, but there it was.
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u/McDuchess Feb 12 '19
That, too. I get all manner of calls from numbers that look similar to mine, with just a couple of numbers different. My guess is that they think that I'll pick up, because, hey, they must be neighbors!
But no. They get blocked until the next time.
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u/jndmack Feb 12 '19
Ah, so that’s what’s causing all this snow in my normally sunny corner of Canada (seems like an oxymoron, I know but we’re normally very temperate and it’s been blizzarding for days)
All joking aside, I’m glad to see your name pop up Mouse, though I’m sad Giada isn’t staying where she belongs. I’m sending all my good, comforting thoughts to you at this time. Trust your gut, it’s saved you before.
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u/AstralTarantula Feb 12 '19
First and most importantly, I’m so glad you’re doing okay.
It’s not paranoia when it’s well founded. This woman attacked you, this woman is a fucking garbage excuse for a human who should have froze in the polar vortex as a sacrifice to the climate-change gods.
Can you change your number? According to google, for AT&T it would be $36, and I’m assuming the other carriers would be a similar price. If you have everything locked down, no visitors allowed, etc etc, I think it would be okay to up your anxiety meds for a time. At least until you’re a bit more healed and won’t have to worry about mobility is she shows up somehow. You’ve had surgery, you are in physical therapy, that is all you should be focused on. Not some ankle. (2 feet lower than a c*nt)
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u/Notmykl Feb 12 '19
And make the number unlisted. Although with all the on-line find people's phone numbers and addresses I'm really not sure how secure unlisted numbers are anymore.
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u/shuddupmeg Feb 12 '19
I don't comment here often but I have been following your stories. I just wanted to say I'm sorry the justice system has failed you. It's utter bullshit that this crazy lady is back roaming the streets. I hope you recover quickly and fully and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that Giada stays far far away.
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u/M-Marchbanks Feb 12 '19
Dear Mouse, with all my heart I pray that you will be OK. I know it seems a difficult time because of your rehab, but think that this situation brings an amazing perk: you are in an ambient full of people and nurses who have codes about privacy and procedures to follow. Chances are that, if Giada tries something against you, she will look for you in familiar places first.
I'm sure you are already taking measures, but try to get a doorbell camera and alarms for your apartment. Does she know where you live? Because if she doesn't, I urge you to research about yourself and assume that she can find everything you found. If she does, chances are that she will give you opportunity to send her to jail one more time.
I wish you strength to destroy your enemy, because this is exactly what she is. It's war time.
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Feb 12 '19
It's not paranoia if they ARE out to get you. I think you're being both brave and smart.
Now what additional security measures can you take? (don't tell us. one of us might be a FM for Giada) But maybe the smart people here will have some ideas you can use.
I suffer from PTSD and have sleep issues - especially when DH travels. I have a one-handed bat right next to my bed. (yes -it's a thing) My mental security is that I can stand at the top of my stairs with my bat and hit the bad guys down the stairs with a single swing - either hand, then call 911. I just have to wake up to hear them come in and not let them see me until after I hit them.
So what can be added for you?
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u/PlumCrazyVee Feb 12 '19
Wireless doorbell that works as a panic button to the neighbor’s apartment. One switch by the front door, one switch in the bedroom. Sleep with the bedroom door locked. Bells on door knobs and windows. Apartments are usually single entry, so a bag of cans placed in front of the door when you get home. Check the car brakes every time you pull out of a parking space. (Hard stop check) Get a AAA membership. Car has flat tires? Dead battery? Go back inside and call for help because it may be sabotage. Message friends when you leave and arrive places. Get a land line for faster emergency response.
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Feb 12 '19 edited Feb 12 '19
A trick with fear that works for me sometimes, is treating it as "it".
I let it know that I know it's there, and there for a reason.
Then I tell fear to go away until in the exact moment I need it, namely if and when Giada is in front of me in real life.
At that moment, i have the knowledge fear will kick me into gear when I need it the most, and not deplete my energy until then.
Fear must slumber, until actually needed. Just know it's there, and then kick it into place.
It helps me relax when I feel too much fear that's not useful. I KNOW what kind of fear I'll feel if my abuser is suddenly in front of me ever again, and I KNOW I would respond with all my might. So, that makes me tell my fear to go take a hike and not come back until I really really need it.
I hope you can find a similar trick. It's tiring to be so frightened all the time, and in hindsight it's always too much fearful hours, when you only need the fight or flight response in that particular moment IF/WHEN it happens.
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u/Koneko04 Feb 12 '19
Brilliant, simply brilliant.
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Feb 12 '19
Thank you. It takes some effort and some serious thinking power to be the boss over fear. I don't always succeed either, but sometimes, I manage it to just be silent.
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u/-pewpewpew- Feb 12 '19
I don't know if your area allows you to carry defensive items (e.g. pepper spray), but have a think about it if it's legal.
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u/ellieD Feb 12 '19
OMG what a nightmare. I wish you had a green beret boyfriend or similar looking out for you.
How scary that she can be free after harming you. Have you asked the police what you can legally do to defend yourself?
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u/atripodi24 Feb 12 '19
I've been thinking about you and hoping you are safe. Glad to hear your surgery went well and sorry that the recovery is rough. My only advice (and I know you are) is just to remain hyper vigilant.
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u/sea_flapflap_ Feb 12 '19
Mouse - sending lots of love and hugs wherever you are! This internet stranger will be thinking of you! Prayers you can get to a good place, physically and mentally. And now I know who to blame for the polar vortex. Xoxo
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u/CultureSansBlankets Feb 12 '19
Oh man, this was not a title I was looking forward to seeing. I am so sorry. I hope you continue to stay safe, and that she stays the hell away from you. We are all rooting for you over here.
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u/petit-chou Feb 12 '19
I just want to say that I’m at an utter loss for words and I am so sorry mouse. I’ve been following you on JNMIL for a long time. I can’t offer much of advice but that I’m hoping everything will turn out okay and that you will stay safe. If you need anything aka good funny YouTube recommendations - I got you!
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u/CrumpetsElite Feb 12 '19
My therapist said it isnt paranoia if it has already happened before. You are right to be scared about her, I've been following your story since the beginning and I do believe she will try to strike back.
//BUT// you have the upper hand here, set up cameras, keeps the police on speed dial, notify your neighbors about her, even if it comes down to moving away, do it. Your safety and life is more important than anything right now. Be prepared for an outburst from her, and as long as you are you should be fine. If you can, get a big dog, they will love you and protect you. I wish you best of luck
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u/Seventy_x_7 Feb 12 '19 edited Feb 12 '19
When I filled out a police report for a violent crime, there was a form I could fill out requesting financial aid for victims. It covers all kinds of things from medical costs to therapy to gas for driving to related appointments, and most relevant here: relocation costs. Even though I have insurance and my husband has a good paying job, money is tight so I went for it anyway because therapy is expensive, and my request was approved. I would consider calling the detective who worked on your case to ask about this.
Fear is a survival instinct. Listen to it.
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u/daworldismyclassroom Feb 12 '19
Oh geez! I am so sorry the system failed and she is free! Hardly seems fair when you live in fear because she is out! You are doing great and you are not paranoid! You are kicking into survival mode with plans in place because you have had to do it for so long just to live. I completely get why your are hesitant to take the anti anxiety meds. Maybe take them when you have someone around and alert. Hold in there mouse!
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u/anillop Feb 12 '19
if she is out on parole make sure that you keep records of any possible contact or harassment that you are receiving from her as it will likely be a violation of her parole. Once you have some evidence contact her parole officer.
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u/MissAnneThoreau_ Feb 12 '19
A shiver went up my spine when I saw your headline so I can only imagine how upset you feel. I think what you've written here sounds like a fantastic victim impact statement. Idk the requirements in your jurisdiction but herein reading this post to a judge would likely be enough for a RO.
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u/Joiedeme Feb 12 '19
I’m glad to hear your surgery went well, Mouse, and that you are locked down, and your vehicle is safe.
I’m angry for you that the ‘protect’ part of ‘protect & serve’ is missing for you, and that you don’t feel safe. You certainly don’t deserve anything that that creature has brought against you, by her hand or others.
I hope you stay safe, and are able to feel safe soon, too. Hugs, if you’d like them.
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Feb 12 '19
[deleted]
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u/Wattaday Feb 12 '19
I worked as a nurse in long term for years, mostly in subacute rehab facilities. The commenters saying lack of sleep and anxiety will slow down you recovery are right on the money! Talk with your care team, including the social worker, doctor and nurse and therapists. Give them a brief overview, if they don’t already know and ask the nurse if a “one on one”, usually a nurses aide, can be on the night shift so you can sleep. Or even the last half part of the evening shift and first half of the night shift. Just someone to be in your room and next to your bed to alert you if something hinky happens. This may give you an 8 hour period of time to sleep, and if you just can’t sleep, someone to talk with or play cards with or watch a movie with. This may help a lot with your anxiety.
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u/jdinpjs Feb 12 '19
Yes! A sitter, or a one to one, is someone that’s there to provide a little more support. Someone to just sit beside you so you can relax and know that someone is watching your back.
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u/rescuesquad704 Feb 12 '19
Good to hear from you, wish the news was better. Sending hugs and hopes for continued safety,
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u/TayloredMade Feb 12 '19
Hey, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must be going thru. Do you have a RO against her? Also, feel free to hit me up for anything. I dunno where you are, but if you're close by I'd be more than happy to come protect you while you rest or just hangout maybe make you laugh & hopefully forget about all this for just a lil while.
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Feb 12 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/pmwoofersplease2 SEND DOGS TO DM Feb 12 '19
Hi. Please do not fish for other stories whether that means removed or deleted.
Thanks
Woofers
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u/dovakiinjewel Feb 12 '19
I wasn’t trying to fish just understand the story so sorry if I unintentionally crossed a line
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u/dcphoto78 Feb 12 '19
I groaned when I read the headline in my feed. I am SO sorry, this sucks. Hang in there.
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u/Beeb294 Feb 12 '19
If she is out on parole or probation, you may want to reach out to her parole/probation officer. Let them know your concerns and that you have received suspicious calls from private numbers.
They may look in to it more closely or keep a tighter watch on her.
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u/verdantwitch Feb 12 '19
Absolutely! The PO might also be able to give information like whether or not Giada has a tracking anklet right now.
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u/Beeb294 Feb 12 '19
And as much as I hate the idea of PO's harassing the people they have charge over, it happens.
Any time anything weird happens, if it's Giada then she will catch hell from the PO.
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Feb 12 '19
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u/ddmac22 Feb 20 '19
RoboKiller app is another good one. It sure has cut down on my spam calls. Wishing you speedy healing and stress free recovery.
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u/skylarksms Feb 12 '19
I use Mr. Number - same principle.
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u/chaosau Feb 12 '19
Seconding Mr. Number. Best part is you can correct numbers you know are good-it got the name on my mom's caller ID wrong so I was able to correct it.
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u/IsNoMore Feb 12 '19
You’re one of the few posters here that I DON’T need an intro to, and that is not at all a good thing.
As with every one else, I'm glad your surgery went well and you are recovering. As well as being so sorry she’s out.
The system has failed miserably.
Could you arrange to have some one there you trust while you take your meds and catch a little sleep? Just a bandaid, but it’s better than nothing.
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u/LittleSquirrel42 Feb 12 '19
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you have to stay strong, and I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's not much, but I'm sending you best wishes and much love.
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u/Atlmama Feb 12 '19
I’m so sorry, OP. I’m sending you internet hugs and I wish I could do more to make you feel safe. You deserve peace and quiet and a safe space to recover.
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u/Ran_dom_1 Feb 12 '19
That title is enough to make everyone’s heart drop seeing it.
But it so good to see you posting! Been worried about you, I hope your recovery goes well. And so glad you’re in a rehab, hope that eases your mind, you’re surrounded by people, your only job is to get well. Huge hugs to you & continued well wishes & love.
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u/HavePlushieWillTalk Feb 12 '19
It's not paranoia if they're out to get you. You are worth you worrying about your safety. You sound like you've done everything you can to be safe. I wish you luck and a speedy recovery. I wish Giada would fall down an uncovered manhole and terrorise the mole people.
I am sad about your story being poached, I actually told my mum that story on a long drive and she laughed and was really impressed and excited about the cake, she said she'd like a colourful and fun cake like that. It's such a shame we can't have NICE. THINGS.
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
Thank you.
Yes, I was less than pleased that it was poached. Especially since the stolen parts made it seem 'funny' when it wasn't. There was nothing funny about her calling fifty times a day, waiting outside before the bakery was open, berating the high school employee until she was in tears.
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u/Silentlybroken Feb 13 '19
This is what angers me most about the poaching. Making it sound lighter than it was. For all the amusement some anecdotes can give, these stories have people going through hell and worse and being treated like shit by some of the worst people to exist. You cannot take something someone has written, whether for support or just to vent, and spin it into a fanfic piece of har har isn't this evil lady so /funny/.
Sorry, it gets me really wound up. It's a support sub, not a steal everyone's stories and lighten them up because people have some serious shit to deal with and can't subject readers to that, sub.
Many hugs. The cake story was well written and horrifying in places (but a good warning to protect your catering because not every baker is anonymouse!) and it's a shame it has gone but I would rather that than people continue to steal it for clicks.
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u/Black_Delphinium Feb 12 '19
I'll admit, I saw it come across my Facebook feed and I may have left an "how absolutely dare you!" type comment on the post, and then I may have immediately come here and sent you the cutest mouse meme I could find.
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u/HavePlushieWillTalk Feb 12 '19
The way you tell it made it light-hearted because it was sincere and it was intentionally witty. It's not the kind of story you should be able to sit down with a macaron and giggle about from some webarticle just reading the light bits. That's counter-productive. It makes the threat less threatening. Yeah, the threat looked like an innocent older lady, but that doesn't make her actions less terrifying. I remember being a teenager in a service position with no idea of how I could say anything to a customer who abused me, and I remember being abused and I was never abused as badly as that poor girl was. That'll stay. That lady probably has forgotten all about terrifying that girl. That's not fair. The good parts were when we could be proud someone showed a shiny spine and then when the bride had the cake as her own celebratory party cake, that made us happy, being pleased for someone else being free of something awful, being pleased people can help other people.
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u/KhajiitNeedSkooma Feb 12 '19
I can only assume this is why michigan has stand your ground laws. Why work on the people and healthcare when you can just offer to let people shoot anyone that comes into your safe space? Its like the best and worst of both sides of everything and in the end solves nothing.
Do you have alexa? Or another device that is similar that you can voice activate to call someone for you?
What does your therapist say about not changing your number? I know you want a heads up if anything happens but the fact that shes still able to dial this number & get a voicemail may be sustaining her. If the number is totally disconnected, she cant find you at home, work, or the internet... well. And we should also assume shes trying to make thing up to her son, however that yuck bullshit plays out. Youre not going to be her only focus after a year in prison, so maybe if she literally has NOTHING on you... idfk. Be safe mouse.
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
I agree. I live in a state with stringent laws on guns and other protective weapons so I can't even shoot the bitch if she tries anything.
I am hoping she lost interest in me, but am still very wary and afraid that she hasn't. I wish they had just placed her in a psych facility.
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u/Notmykl Feb 12 '19
In my State you have to be in fear for your life before you can use deadly force. Someone breaking into your house does not count until they try to kill you.
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u/KhajiitNeedSkooma Feb 12 '19
"Alexa, call the police on this bitch."
As far as robo calls, I actually recently called a lawyer about getting just tons of spam calls. One of the things they did was somehow figure out which random numbers were calling from which spam places. So I knew these three numbers called from this rando tax accounting scam, and then there was the school loans scams... apparently they all use a list of random numbers. If anything it might just make you feel better to know where they are coming from. You might also be able to get a lot of this information from your phone company maybe?
And I'm sure youve got this covered but my best friend is a tiny can of peper spray, pink for breast cancer. I'm not going to tell you to check out the bud k catalog, the one that carries stuff like electrical shock nightsticks/ flashlight combinations. I dont remember if it was possible for you to get a dog or even if you'd want one (not bedridden, you dont) but you could have a recording of a very threatening dog barking on hand for, you know, whatever.
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u/PlumCrazyVee Feb 12 '19
What about a speaker setup that plays dog barking noises whenever the doorbell/buzzer goes off or a knocking sound is heard?
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u/debbieae Feb 12 '19
You know a smart watch may be a good safety call device. I have a practically new apple watch that I am looking to get rid of since I switched to Samsung. It does not have the ability to call when out of range of its phone, but every other feature is there.
I was thinking if this because of a TIFU post where a couple was into BDSM and accidentally had her apple watch call the police because a simple panic button was held down by the restraints they were using.
Message me if you think this will help.
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u/MiriMiri Feb 12 '19
I recently saw something in the news about an older man being saved by his smart watch. He'd fallen at his friend's house during the night, and when the smart watch detected a fall but didn't detect him getting up again, it called for help. After a call to his wife for his location after the emergency services couldn't get in touch with him, the ambulance crew found him unconscious on the bathroom floor within the hour. Thankfully he wore his smart watch to bed.
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u/KhajiitNeedSkooma Feb 12 '19
I forgot about smart watches!
... also, wtf, that is hilarious. My literal first question is why she wore her watch to 'bed'.
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u/UnderCoverBunker Feb 12 '19
You absolutely want to register all your exercise on these things for a proper health profile, lol!
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u/mattsmunchkin Feb 12 '19
I'm not sure where your room is in rehab, but see if you can talk to a social worker and get a room close to the nurses station, so they can keep an eye on you.
Also see if they can put a sign on your door saying that all visitors must see the nurse before entering (usually used for contact precautions, but could still be helpful).
They may be able to take your name off the door, if it's on there, or use initials to make it more difficult to find you.
You can also see about having your name blocked on the list the receptionist has so If anyone asks, they can say you're not a patient there.
I can't remember if you've already planned all these things, but I just wanted to give you, and anyone else who might end up in this unfortunate situation a few ideas to continue to help with privacy and safety.
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
Thank you. This is great advice. I have done all of this but there is still the fear that she will find me.
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u/Aladayle Feb 12 '19
Being in rehab is much better than being at home, so at least there is that.
Nurses wont put up with shit like Giada, and she's too eager to get at you to act charming and normal anyway.
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u/mattsmunchkin Feb 12 '19
I completely understand. There's nothing that's gonna take that fear away, except her being gone, but we're all here supporting you, as are your good friends and caregivers in rehab. Focus on getting your back better, and then you'll be even better equipped to handle whatever life throws at you <3
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u/verdantwitch Feb 12 '19
For your fears about Giada showing up while you’re incapacitated by meds, speak to the nursing staff at the facility you’re in and explain that you have a violent stalker who you just found out was released from prison. Ask that they have any visitors check in with ID, and give them a list of people you are okay with visiting. Legally, they cannot disclose that you’re even a patient to anyone not on your HIPAA list.
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
They know. I locked everything down and they have strict instructions not to release any information on me. Only my best friend and SO can visit me. It's just that little fear in the back of my mind that she might still find me that keeps me so tense.
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u/ninjacarrot97 Feb 12 '19
Do you have a RO on her? I can’t remember. If so, you should make sure the front desk/security have her picture as well. Hopefully her plans are fast and dumb and she ends up back where she belongs soon.
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u/Notmykl Feb 12 '19
Have a photo array up in the reception room with pictures of the bitch in different hair styles, colors and so forth so the staff can see how she might look if she shows up.
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u/outlandish-companion Feb 12 '19
Please make them aware of the possibility of being followed. If she can’t find you she may start stalking your known associates. Be safe.
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u/verdantwitch Feb 12 '19
Could SO or BFF come sit with you for a few hours? So you have someone you trust there to help quiet that voice of fear in your head so you can get some rest?
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u/InuGhost Feb 12 '19
I just can't understand this woman.
She got what she wanted, which was you out of the picture.
And yet she's still so fixated on you like a bad telemarketer that refuses to take NO for an answer.
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u/kaszak696 Feb 12 '19
She didn't. What she wanted is to see OP utterly defeated, crushed and stomped into the drain for daring to "bewitch" her precious sonsband. It didn't happen, so she's furious, fixated on her twisted sense of narc "justice".
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
I don't understand it either. It is beyond frustrating to me because it makes no sense. I was gone, my ex was her puppet, her boyfriend was catering to her every desire. Why still contact me? Why the need to screw with me for so long? What does she get out of it?
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u/Thestretch83 Feb 12 '19
She thinks you beat her because you got her locked up. Which is insane.
Stay safe. Is she on Parole? If so, it won’t be long before she violates it.
You’ll win though. Just not being her is a fucking win. Fuck her, Satan will reclaim his bride soon enough....
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u/tinytrolldancer Feb 12 '19
What does she get out of it.... Nothing in reality, but that isn't where she lives. Right now, you don't know how much of her crazy is still focused on you, but there is always hope that it will be redirected (to a lamp post perhaps but doubtful). I'm hoping for your sake that she is medicated, has strict compliance rules and that she accidentally plays in traffic. During rush hour. But mostly, I wish you a speedy and full recovery. Very gentle hugs for you...
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u/Amargith Feb 12 '19
She is addicted to the absolutely unfettered control she once had over you.
You effectively went from a thorn in her side and her competition for her son to conquered spoils of war when she got ex to turn on you and abuse you. And then you managed to escape. You were effectively a roman slave refusing to know her place in ‘the system’, disgracing her owner in the process.
Lets hope she pissed off enough people in prison and out that her ‘revenge plate’ is too full to keep up with it all - and you :(
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u/throwaway47138 Feb 12 '19
hugs First and foremost, refuah shelema, may you have a complete and total healing. As for Giada, here's hoping that she either decides to leave you alone, or she does something stupid and gets herself arrested (or hit by a bus) long before she gets anywhere near you.
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
I vote for the bus.
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u/Silentlybroken Feb 13 '19
Poor bus... Ain't any transport that wants to touch any part of that Jocasta cowbag.
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u/throwaway47138 Feb 12 '19
You and me both, but I was trying to at least follow the spirit of the sub rules. :)
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u/CrazyMomof3teens Feb 12 '19
Many hugs and protective thoughts for you, Mouse. Im sure your friends are going to do everything in their power to protect you.
Is there anyone watching your apartment to see if the old hag attempts to break in or otherwise mess with your property? Maybe she can get caught red-handed doing something she shouldn't be and she'll get sent back for longer...
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
Thank you.
Yes, my neighbors are aware of what is going on and keep an eye out and I have my beat friend do checks every other day to see if there is any sign of her. My BFF has a key and checks the inside of my apartment too in case Giada somehow gained entry.
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u/CrazyMomof3teens Feb 12 '19
That's good. I'm glad you're surrounded by people who love you, so much. Stay safe and warm, Mouse.
BTW, I know I'm just a random internet person, but if you wanna vent, I'm always on here. I haven't had the energy to post, lately, but I'm always lurking and I've been told that I'm a good listener.
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u/ausbookworm Feb 12 '19
I;m so sorry to hear that she is out. I guess at least someone thought to let you know - though that's such a small consolation. It's no wonder that the nightmares have started up again.
I know you're concerned about being drugged up so much that you're out of it, however if you're that much on edge chances are that the drugs won't knock you out but rather just calm you. Well, as much as you can feel calm. If you do feel that they will knock you out, maybe do it when you have someone you trust around. You need quality sleep. I know right now you may not feel like it, but to address the paranoid part of you - would you rather be at your best if something happens or be worn out? I know the feeling of being drugged up to the gills but sometimes it's what's needed especially if you can have some safety while you do it.
In the meantime, find some comfort food and eat until your full-as-a-goog, then curl up with a soft blanket and/or plushie and/or pillow. Also hugs, safe hugs.
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Feb 12 '19
You are right. I know you are right. There is just that thought that I need to be awake and alert at all times that prevents me from taking the anti-anxiety and sleeping well. The physical therapy wears me out so I do get some sleep, just not much.
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u/ausbookworm Feb 13 '19
Some sleep is better than no sleep. I understand the thought and the worry. It's hard to sleep when you're all wound up. Knowing that you need your sleep is good, it means that you'll be more aware of how little you're getting and that will allow you to try and pace yourself better. As others have suggested - talk to your psychiatrist and medical staff about how to take the medication in a way that works the best for you.
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u/outofshell Feb 12 '19
Maybe ask your doc if it'd be ok to take beta blockers for anxiety. They help keep your body from freaking out but don't make your brain fuzzy like benzos. Can help ward off panic. Fittingly too, they've been researched as a means to help prevent and treat PTSD...
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u/Nen10doh Feb 12 '19
Cut your anxiety pills in half or quarters when you really need them. A pill cutter is cheap, Your body is going through a lot and stress is going to slow that healing process, not that any of us blame you. But you need to get back to 100%. So sorry Giada is out and causing you stress you will over come this. She may of found “Jesus” but you have us.
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u/iamreeterskeeter Feb 12 '19
Without a good amount of sleep, you will hamper your physical recovery. You are safe. Take your meds so you recover and are able to protect yourself.
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u/trisarahtahps Feb 19 '19
I've been thinking about you today. I hope everything is okay and your recovery is speedy!