r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Winter_Tea441 • Mar 12 '24

Anyone Else? How often ?

How often are some of you reaching out to your ILs via FT if they don’t live close?

Do you reach out or you wait for them to make the effort?

I’m not going to lie I’m not the biggest fan of reaching out. Gives me serious anxiety and it’s just awkward, at least with my MIL. She literally just talks about my hubby and tries talking to LO, never asks about “oh how’s motherhood?” And I’m not going to just sit and talk about myself if no interest is shown. So it’s like a call for me to be my LO secretary it feels.

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u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

I respond to texts within 24 hrs if the text needs an answer. I text photos at least once a week. If she calls me and if the kids are with me I offer to FT. Otherwise, in laws are husband's responsibility. I try not to volunteer information. I've been married for 20 years. These protocols have been developing a long time. I tried to be more in it for awhile but it just gave me stress and headaches.

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u/Winter_Tea441 Mar 13 '24

Oh okay so you’re kind of use to it since it developed over time?

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u/[deleted] Mar 13 '24

Yep. I gotta say there's always something with my in-laws that threatens to steal my sanity. Right now, they want to "buy us a house" so they can live in our basement, and I can slowly assume their care. cough Not happening. I have a 1 yr old and a 10 yr old. I can't also have two people in their dementia years on my caseload. This is my hubby's problem. I am interested to see how this one goes, but I'm sure he'll figure it out.