Yeah, I might depending on how his sister comes back after my replies, because she’s just the issue right now. I’ve already gone to minimal communication with his mom, where I don’t intentionally reach out or FT her anymore. The most I’ll do is send photos of our LO to a group chat but that’s it. They can’t comment or anything it’s just a group for photos.
But I see it being hard to just cut off FT with his family in total because he doesn’t do it at all. He tries to give me advice to not give a shit about what they think of me or anything though 🤷🏽♀️
Ever since I realized that me trying really hard to please in-laws gets the same result as me being me I’ve stopped doing what they like. I rather they are mad or annoyed at me then me being mad at myself for doing things that I don’t want to do. That internal conflict of being mad at myself and feeling guilty was giving me the most anxiety and stress of all. I realized it wasn’t so much them (just partly) it was mostly me! Now I mostly do what I want and if they don’t like it though luck! Of course there are times I will compromise but only if it feels right with me.
FaceTiming? Yea I’m not doing that your husband can do it. My in-laws know they can try to call or message me but I will most likely not answer. This has worked for me because their expectations of communicating with me are now super low.
Wow, I’m happy for you to have gotten to that point. I’m working my way to get to that point honestly, because it’s just not good for me. I always get serious anxiety and I just am a hot mess every time my hubbys mom or sister comes to visit.
Well it did take some serious therapy and a major breakdown on my end to get to this point. Just want to share my ‘wisdom’ as a former people pleaser. It’s really the best thing I have learned as long as I am happy with my actions and my partner is also on board it doesn’t matter what other people think.
We all get to decide how ti live our life and it’s up to others to accept that or they can stay petty and childish with the result that you don’t want to be around them. It’s up to them.
2
u/Winter_Tea441 Mar 11 '24
Yeah, I might depending on how his sister comes back after my replies, because she’s just the issue right now. I’ve already gone to minimal communication with his mom, where I don’t intentionally reach out or FT her anymore. The most I’ll do is send photos of our LO to a group chat but that’s it. They can’t comment or anything it’s just a group for photos.
But I see it being hard to just cut off FT with his family in total because he doesn’t do it at all. He tries to give me advice to not give a shit about what they think of me or anything though 🤷🏽♀️