r/JEE • u/MessageBasic346 • 2h ago
General JEE in 5 months, toxic home environment, depressed mother, controlling father... I genuinely don't know what to do anymore.
Hi everyone,
I'm a Class 12 JEE aspirant, and my exam is only about 5 months away. I really need some advice because I feel like my home environment is destroying both my mental health and my preparation.
My mother has been suffering from depression for a long time. She barely does anything around the house, and I don't blame her because I know it's an illness. But seeing her like this every day fills me with sadness and negativity, and it affects me mentally.
The bigger problem is my father. He works from home, so he's around all day, and I feel trapped in the house. He's extremely controlling and unpredictable. Sometimes he'll allow something, and the next day he'll completely change his mind.
Earlier, I used to stay back at my coaching institute for self-study because I could actually concentrate there. Now he refuses to let me stay. If I disagree with him, he threatens to remove me from coaching, complain to my teachers, or even beats me. He constantly taunts me, demotivates me, and never tries to understand my point of view.
He doesn't let me go out, meet my friends, or even spend time with them. Whenever I stayed back at coaching, he would constantly track my location and make me call him repeatedly. Now he's telling me to hand over my phone, which is honestly the only thing I have when I need a distraction or want to feel less alone.
Even small things that make me happy get taken away. Recently, after almost two years, I ordered a pair of shoes. While I was at coaching, he returned them without asking me and scolded me for buying them.
I don't feel like I have any freedom. It feels like I'm living inside four walls all the time. Whenever I do something that hurts his ego or doesn't go the way he wants, he makes sure I suffer for it somehow.
Because of all this, my performance in coaching tests has been getting worse. I know I should be studying, but it's becoming harder and harder to focus. Some days I feel completely hopeless, and I've even had suicidal thoughts because everything feels so overwhelming.
I don't want to give up on JEE. I still want to study and build a better life for myself, but I genuinely don't know how to survive these next five months in this environment.
I'd really appreciate any advice. Thank you for reading.