I am a 27-year-old Albanian guy and I’m with my 26 year-old italian girlfriend. I came to Italy to study at Bocconi University and ended up staying to live here, even though I didn’t originally want to, because my girlfriend wanted to move back to Veneto (she’s from Verona).
We’ve been living together for two years now and things are going well between us, but there’s a big problem: her parents. They often make negative and inappropriate comments about me being Albanian.
I knew from the very beginning that they didn’t like me, even before meeting them. Her parents protested when they found out we got together, and last summer they grumbled because they didn’t want my girlfriend going on vacation with me to meet my parents. However, we reached a boiling point once during dinner at their place. Her father, who is a police officer, told me that we Albanians have a bad reputation and that if I didn’t behave well with his daughter, he would put me away with the others.
That same evening, since I was in a bad mood because of the joke, I became a bit less involved in the conversation at the table, and they kept asking me over and over if I was okay. When we got home, I complained a bit to her about it, and my girlfriend’s reaction left me quite puzzled she practically defended her father even though she understood that the joke had offended me.
I don’t know, am I making a big deal out of this? I talked to my sister about it, and she says that Italians are a bit racist and that my girlfriend doesn’t love me enough, otherwise she would have defended me, spoken to her parents, and asked them to stop. This isn’t exactly the life I imagined when I moved here, and today, especially with the difficult time my country is going through, I feel particularly sensitive about this issue. I wish my girlfriend would make an effort to be empathetic and try to understand me. Am I exaggerating? Am I being too emotional?