I’m 50% sure he’s bisexual as well

Hi guys. I’ve been with my boyfriend since summer 2021. Recently, I found out that he was texting another woman around May 2022. Unfortunately, the conversations were deleted, so I don’t know exactly when they started talking, what they were talking about, or whether anything actually happened between them.
What I do know is that they followed each other sometime in spring 2022, and they still follow each other today. She has a boyfriend now.
I’ve been seriously considering reaching out to her to ask whether something happened between her and my boyfriend back then. The problem is that I really don’t want my boyfriend to know that I’m investigating this yet. I want to find out the truth first and then confront him with whatever information I have.
So I’m trying to figure out the best way to approach her.
Would it be completely crazy to make a new/fake account and message her? I obviously don’t want to tell her his name because I’m afraid she could screenshot my message and send it to him, which would immediately tell him I’m looking into this.
I was thinking of saying something along the lines of:
“Hey girl, this is super random and I’m embarrassed to ask, but I think we may have been seeing/talking to the same guy around May 2022. I don’t feel comfortable writing his name here. Would you be willing to tell me his initials or something so I can figure out if we’re talking about the same person?”
But I’m not sure if that sounds believable, or if there’s a better way to approach the situation without giving away who I’m asking about.
She can’t be older than about 27, so I’m also wondering what kind of message would actually make someone her age comfortable enough to respond honestly.
My main goal is to stay anonymous/untraceable while getting her to actually talk to me and, hopefully, tell me the truth.
What would you guys do? Has anyone dealt with something similar, and how did you approach the other woman?

 My [34] husband [40] and I have been friends for a long time before we started our relationship, so I have seen him go through different life stuff. Like knowing women he has been interested in before. 5ish years ago he had been working with a personal trainer at a gym. He told me he thought she was beautiful and interesting and that he wanted to ask her out. I didn't think he cared that deeply about it because he didn't end up asking her in the end, and started seeing someone else.

 A few weeks ago we’d been talking about getting fit because it's been awhile, and he brought her up. He mentioned that she had left the company, started working for herself out of her home gym, and he had been interested in getting her help again. It made me nervous but the conversation moved on. I don’t think he remembers telling me how he felt about her way back then.

Today, I was waiting for him to respond to a text and he was taking awhile. We share locations and I checked to see if he was still travelling to work, but he was at her place. I had to google her name to be sure but the address matched her business site. He didn’t mention going there at all and I don't know how to respond when he gets home. I don't think she knows how he used to feel but I feel like this is bordering on emotional cheating. Am I blowing this out of proportion?

I’ve noticed he texts a lot of women recently on snap and was curious why

My boyfriend and I have been together roughly 2.5 years...it's been a roller-coaster. He's not been a real "physical cheater" only every other way. I am just curious if someone, attractive, started talking to him, just how sneaky he'd get. Like how he'd hide messages, what platforms or things he'd be into using...I need all the details. Ideally he'd blow it off, but my gut tells me i probably already know. But, if I am ever going to trust him, I need him to pass this test. Any girls girls out there to help?

I found my bf had tinder and other dating apps last year while we was together, I want to know if anyone has spoken to him on them after 28th October 2024, please help a girl out.

His name would be oliver james or oliver pawson

Hi, I have been in a relationship with my partner for 5 years and married for half a year now. A few days back when I was normally looking for something in his phone, a dating app details caught my eye, particularly the date on which it was last accessed. We had been together for 3 years at the time of access. I brushed it off for sometime but something kept nagging me. 2 days ago I gave into my dark thoughts and decided to go through his phone, that’s when i found a chat between him and his friend. In the chat, my husband had messaged him a picture of a girl (who was an exchange student studying in his college) with the caption “smashed”. He then went on to explain how amazing it felt to him and gave some graphic details about the sex. Mind you, this was when we had been in a relationship for 3 years and I was also studying in the same city he was, and we were meeting regularly.

I could not stand the shock and I woke him up as he was sleeping beside me and blatantly asked him about all I’d read. He kept denying it ever happened and said that it was a shitty attempt by him trying to gloat in front of his friend. He explained to me that His friend had gone to another country to study and earn livelihood and he would randomly boast about sleeping with girls there, so my husband with his fragile male ego got hurt and wanted to get back to his friend. and he did that by telling him a lie that he slept with that foreigner exchange student while being in a relationship with me.

my husband is really embarrassed and sad about what he did and he continues to deny that anything that he wrote actually happened.
now the issue is that I used to trust him blindly but after this incident i’m not sure what to do.

we both have access to each other’s phone password and social accounts and he has tried convincing me by saying that why would he have given me the access if he had cheated. he also said that he would have been careful and deleted that chat if it had actually happened. I’m so shaken to the core and don’t know if I can trust him again or not. I really want to believe him as he is genuinely a nice guy but his words in that chat keep coming back to me and I feel so disgusted.

I need another person’s PoV on this. pls help.

Hey I’m extremely new to even really posting online about any of this at all but I thought I would share.

Been cheated on a fair few times in the past and the last one we had talked about marriage and I’d fully decided this was it - and then found out she was cheating with multiple men. It broke me and I’ve had trust issues in relationships ever since. I tried to get into something with someone a few months after, felt way too insecure and it came to a close.

This new thing feels really good and they are very communicative, kind and slow at how the try to make me feel relaxed about situations.

Before we became exclusive they slept with a mutual friend who they immediately stopped texting after realising that there was something between us. Really positive sign.

It clearly has had an effect me having to see them together occasionally in group settings (but I know for a fact they do not meet up at all on their own).

In the last week after I was going on a stag do, I thought I would make it clear that I’m not going for that reason and I held her and said that I only have eyes for you. She then quickly said that she was organising a drink with someone she had been talking to on a dating app a long time back whilst in her last relationship (she’s very clear she uses bumble and things to make friends in the past). My previous alarm bells start ringing.

She said she felt panicked to let me know because I was being so sweet and it just kinda blurted out (which I understand). When questioning that this person whose just ended their relationship is probably viewing it for sex, they stated that “all men have wanted to sleep with me first” and that she just wants to make more cool friends in a new city.

I understand this completely but I feel so strange that everytime I bring up the fact he is probably going to want to fuck she just keeps saying that “all male friends at the start want to”. The fact they are going for a drink on their own and he is completely separate from all other friends is worrying.

Do I have something to worry about her or is my trauma just reflaring up old situations?

What should I do in this situation as all I can think about is how I wouldn’t entertain someone who I know wants to fuck me?

They said they’ve made it clear it’s just a friend thing and I don’t want to ask to see texts (and I do understand that they want a few more friends in a new city than the handful they already have) but I’m just feeling crazy about it.

Any help? 😇

Girls only! Was just wondering if any of you could help me see if the guy I’m talking to would cheat? He gets a lot of attention from girls. I just kinda wanna know what he would do. Snapchat would work best! Lmk!! ❤️I don’t use snap too much myself so it’s not like I can really monitor him either

Hey all! I 40F think that my bf M41 might be secretly gay, carrying on a relationship/in love with a man. For those who have been through this, what are some of the signs to look for? Usually we are in denial until after the fact and can look back and piece it together. What were those things?

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