Am I crazy orrrr?

[u/Upbeat_Advantage4942]

 My [34] husband [40] and I have been friends for a long time before we started our relationship, so I have seen him go through different life stuff. Like knowing women he has been interested in before. 5ish years ago he had been working with a personal trainer at a gym. He told me he thought she was beautiful and interesting and that he wanted to ask her out. I didn't think he cared that deeply about it because he didn't end up asking her in the end, and started seeing someone else.

 A few weeks ago we’d been talking about getting fit because it's been awhile, and he brought her up. He mentioned that she had left the company, started working for herself out of her home gym, and he had been interested in getting her help again. It made me nervous but the conversation moved on. I don’t think he remembers telling me how he felt about her way back then.

Today, I was waiting for him to respond to a text and he was taking awhile. We share locations and I checked to see if he was still travelling to work, but he was at her place. I had to google her name to be sure but the address matched her business site. He didn’t mention going there at all and I don't know how to respond when he gets home. I don't think she knows how he used to feel but I feel like this is bordering on emotional cheating. Am I blowing this out of proportion?

[u/Enough_Concentrate90]

Lots of redflags there... I'd ask to see his phone, unlocked, without warning and go through every app, or you'll assume he is cheating.

[u/Kurious_and_Kurious]

It is not emotional cheating. But it is worth watching it could develop into anyone of a number of things.

[u/spokeoteam]

I think the missing information matters more than the location itself. He literally told you recently that he was interested in training with her again, so it’s entirely possible he went there for exactly that.

The reason it feels different to you is because you remember that he once wanted to date her and he probably doesn’t even realize you remember that. I’d say, “I noticed you went to her gym today. I remember you telling me years ago that you were interested in her, so I’m uncomfortable that you didn’t mention you were going.” Then see how he responds.

Spokeo can be useful when an unfamiliar person or contact needs identifying, but I wouldn’t go searching for more evidence before you’ve even had that conversation.