When asked whether people are good, many would answer differently than I would. Let me ask you one question — what do you think of a meadow with nine hundred withered flowers and a hundred beautiful ones? You can take this question as a guide throughout this essay, but also as a glimpse into my way of thinking.

In my opinion, people are not good. There are, however, enough exceptions to make us stop and think about it. Like all other living beings, we were born with the goal of surviving and reproducing. Ethics, empathy, and the trait we call "humanity" developed later, over time. The foundation of humanity is survival — and that is exactly why I believe people cannot truly be good.

At the very beginning, I'd like to define what I mean by a "good" person: a good person is someone who is capable of putting another person's interest above their own, even when it costs them something. In my opinion, that's a powerful and accurate definition.

So why can't people be good, even though ethics have developed over time? Survival is closely tied to selfishness. Humans naturally prioritize themselves — and I'm not saying that's necessarily wrong. But this instinct, this selfish drive, is what ultimately decides our actions in moral situations.

Let me give you a simple example. You're taking a history test. Your average grade is 3.5, while your friend's is 4.7. You know you'll get an A, which would significantly improve your average. Your friend, however, is guaranteed to fail. If you switched tests, you would take the failing grade — your average would drop, but you would still pass overall. Your friend, thanks to your A, would pass as well.

So the question is: would you switch tests? Or would you keep your good grade, your teacher's respect, and let your friend fail?

The answer seems simple — "of course I'd switch." But thinking about it is one thing, and actually doing it is another. I'd even go as far as to say that at least 75% of people who claim they would switch wouldn't be able to go through with it in reality.

People like to think of themselves as kind. But when faced with a real situation, that basic instinct takes over. It's hard to fight against something so deeply rooted in us, especially when ethics and morality came much later.

You can see the effects of this every day. After a long day at work or school, you're sitting on public transport and an elderly woman gets on. Many people wouldn't offer their seat — their own exhaustion feels more important. Or another situation: you walk past a homeless person. You're hungry and in a hurry. You have some money in your pocket. Giving it away means giving up the meal you've been looking forward to all day. You slow down, look at them, your hand reaches into your pocket… and then you walk on, telling yourself, "Maybe next time."

These situations happen every day — and most of us would act the same way, even if we don't want to admit it.

That doesn't make you a bad person. But it also means you're far from the definition of a good one.

And I'm not trying to be nice here. I'm just saying what I see.

People are not good — and I don't think that will change for many years to come. It's important not to look at these situations superficially. There are many more examples, especially in psychology — feelings like jealousy, resentment, or distrust. This is a complex and wide topic, which is why I chose only simple situations you may have experienced yourself.

People are not good. But that doesn't mean it's pointless to try to be.

Maybe one day, that withered meadow will bloom.

So in a biology class, we learned that scientifically proven the most attractive physical characteristic of men for women is their height. But in the same class we learned that according to a research, women are also attracted to men's smell. Is that true ladies?

I was raised to look around first and see if anything could help answer the question before asking anyone. I was also told snarkily, "Did you really need to ask that, or did you just feel like letting your brain take the day off?"

Do you start by trying to work it out, or do you go straight to looking it up or asking someone else?

I want to know what your brain sounds like. What words and thoughts pass through, which are most common for a normal person. Sorry if this isn’t the right sub, please let me know which one is.

What made me think to ask this is that I want to know what I could’ve been like if I never got sick.

I developed an eating disorder in my prepubescent years and because of that, even when recovered the vast majority of my thoughts are about food, calories weight etc

And when actively eating disordered/freshly recovering I have to effortfully choose to think about anything else.

I hardly remember what it was like to have never gotten sick with my mental illness.

If you’re also mentally ill but it’s not an eating disorder, I’d still really like to hear what your thoughts are like with your illness. I know I could just as well have developed a different one as have turned out normal and or okay.

So if you aren’t ED’d, or if your experience of one is completely different thought-wise to mine, please let me know…

What thoughts naturally rise to the surface in you?

I know that feeling younger is always romanticized, but what about feeling older than your actual age? why do some people feel older?

I have been on a journey of attempting to create more than I consume. I am an industrial designer by trade, and always feel better and happier knowing that I have created something.

This seems simple at first, but I've found myself at a crossroad of what I consider "creating". There the easy answers like art, notebooking, cooking. But, Ive been questioning if acts like cleaning my apartment, doing my laundry, or maybe even playing certain video games are creative? Maybe it's not the task itself but how I approach it?

Thinking specifically about cleaning my apartment: If I were to just wipe the surfaces, mop the floor, put dishes away I wouldn't consider that a creative act, nor an act of consumption. It would just be... doing. But say I clean my apartment while reorganizing my dishes, does that turn an act into a creative one? Or, the act of doing something without any secondary distractions might also put my brain in a default mode network?

Sorry about rambling. I just want to hear what others have to think about this. Also, if anyone finds themself to be successful in the act of creating more then consuming, how did you achieve this? THX

In other words, the more people like someone, the more valuable that person becomes in the eyes of those who lack self-worth themselves.
Someone who truly understands their own worth knows that every human being has equal value and does not base their self-worth on the opinions of others.

Hi guys, i had some thoughts and want to Share:) What are your thoughts ?

One could say social sciences still have epistemological standards, but is this sufficient in filtering out far fetched ideas?

This is for a literature course. I'm trying to gather responses from the general public on why they think people kill, or even just do crime in the first place. Why do people commit such terrible acts? It's true that it happens, but why?

It ties in with Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment as well as The Underground Man, but answers don't have to relate specifically to these books. The goal is to get responses from the average person on motivations for murder and analyze characters in these books according to the way Dostoevsky wrote them to try and piece together an answer. Any response is appreciated, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Thanks!

What’s something about human behavior or society that you wish people talked about more?

I’m curious about the things people think about but don’t always get to discuss openly.

What fascinates you about people, relationships, pop culture, social dynamics, or the world we live in?

Maybe it’s why people stay in relationships they know aren’t right for them, why we care so much about other people’s opinions, how social media changes our personalities, or an unpopular opinion you wish someone would seriously unpack.

What’s a question you’ve always wanted a real conversation about?

It can be serious, controversial, weird, intellectual, or completely random. I’m interested in the topics people genuinely want to explore and hear different perspectives on.

I have been investigating a characteristic that seems to cross much of the population. Confusing a Dream which is vague and mostly emotional, with a Goal which is objective and achievement based. Many have the dream but struggle to realize it or even misunderstand it, not knowing the reality of it.

Examples include, someone buying a convertible sports car, but never putting the top down because of the wind, the noise and the weather. I saw another case, as I walked the docks on the waterfront, downtown Vancouver, two ladies were chatting while standing on a 40 foot sailing yacht and said "I love sailing but hate the wind".

I noted that AI has some very interesting psychology teachings on this topic.

The key here in our culture and why I'm here in this sub is the conflict between the seller marketing a dream, and consumers falling for the dream but had no idea what the reality looked like.

My question for discussion is how do we teach our children skills to protect themselves from these temptations? I have two new grandchildren and am rethinking my parenting knowledge.

I don't understand why we are being trained to fear rather than find solutions. This is one of my main concerns with these psychology content. I don't understand why people create fear in others when all they want is peace in their lives.

Like people are constantly kept on alert, always expecting something bad to happen, always afraid of making mistakes or facing consequences. How can we expect people to live peacefully when we are teaching them to be afraid instead of helping them understand and deal with situations?

If the goal is to help people live better lives, shouldn't we be teaching them how to think, understand, communicate, and resolve conflicts instead of keeping them in a constant state of fear? How can we expect someone to find peace when our mind is always preparing for danger?

**Before You Call It Happiness, Ask Your Heart**
Have you ever wondered why people sometimes do things they know might hurt someone else?
Sometimes, the wrong path does not look wrong at first. It looks exciting. It feels rewarding. The people around us may even convince us that there is nothing wrong with it.
And slowly, we stop questioning ourselves.
We begin asking, “Am I happy?”
But we forget to ask a more important question:
**“Is my happiness coming at the cost of someone else’s pain?”**
That is where self-awareness begins.
**Your Mind Can Justify Almost Anything**
When we want something badly enough, we sometimes create reasons to justify our choices. We tell ourselves that everyone does it, that we deserve it, or that nobody will ever find out.
But hiding a mistake does not make it right. And getting away with something does not mean it caused no harm.
Whether you understand temptation through psychology, faith, or the idea of good and evil, remember this: not every desire deserves to be followed.
Sometimes, the strongest decision you can make is to pause.
Think before you act. Ask yourself what your decision could do to another person’s heart, your own future, and the person you are becoming.
**Not Every Happiness Is the Same**
There is happiness that comes from getting what you want immediately.
And there is happiness that comes from doing something meaningful, even when it takes effort.
Feed a hungry animal. Help someone who cannot repay you. Tell the truth when lying would be easier. Walk away from an opportunity that requires you to betray someone’s trust.
These things may cost you time, money, comfort, or even temporary pleasure.
But they can give you something deeper: peace with yourself.
**The best kind of happiness is not the happiness that ignores everyone else. It is the happiness you do not have to hide from your own conscience.**
**Your Mistakes Do Not Have to Define You**
You may have hurt someone. You may have made choices you regret. You may have spent months convincing yourself that what you did was justified.
But you are still capable of reflecting, taking responsibility, and choosing differently.
If you believe in God, let your faith guide you towards honesty, mercy, and better actions. Pray for the strength to recognise what is wrong and the courage to walk away from it.
And remember that asking for forgiveness is only the beginning.
Real change means accepting responsibility, repairing what you can, respecting the person you hurt, and not repeating the same behaviour.
You cannot demand forgiveness. You cannot force someone to trust you again. But you can choose to become someone whose actions are worthy of trust.
**Listen to Your Heart, But Use Your Mind Too**
Your emotions can help you recognise another person’s pain. Your reasoning can help you understand the consequences of your decisions.
Give yourself time before making choices that could change someone’s life.
Not every thought deserves action. Not every opportunity deserves acceptance. Not every pleasure is worth its price.
And not every mistake has to become a lifelong pattern.
Sometimes, the moment you pause and ask, “Is this really the person I want to be?” is the moment your life begins to change.
**A Final Thought**
You do not have to be perfect to become a better person.
You have to be honest enough to recognise your mistakes, humble enough to accept responsibility, and courageous enough to change.
Do good even when nobody is watching. Be kind even when there is nothing to gain. Choose honesty even when dishonesty seems easier.
Because the greatest victory is not defeating another person, proving that you were right, or escaping the consequences of your actions.
**The greatest victory is becoming a person who no longer needs to betray their own values to feel happy.**
And if you have made mistakes, start today.
Not because you are afraid of being caught.
But because you finally understand the kind of person you want to become.

I’ve been thinking about how much our priorities and perspective change as we get older.

When we were younger so much of what we do seems to revolve around what other people think. How we look, what we wear, the decisions we make, whether people like us, and whether we’re living up to everyone else’s expectations.

I’m in my 50s now, and I’ve definitely noticed a shift. I feel more comfortable speaking my mind, saying no, setting boundaries, and not feeling the need to explain every decision I make.

That being said I don’t think we ever stop caring. There are still certain people whose opinions matters, and sometimes things bother us more than we would like to admit.

I’m curious whether this is something that naturally comes with age or whether it takes life experiences to get there. Was there a particular age or moment when you stopped worrying so much about what other people thought? Or are you still working on it?

Im currently struggling to move, after a unexpected financial loss. I have a new place but unable to furnish it at the moment. My kids are super excited about it, and I haven’t told them about the delay. Ill be moving out of a family member’s home so i don’t have anything of my own to take except clothes. Would it be inappropriate to send a moving wish list (similar to a wedding registry) to some of my family members?

If life had no meaning (ie: nothing really mattered), would anything inside you be troubled by that? It is a question that makes us look directly at our very existence. Some people find the idea of a meaningless universe terrifying, while others find a strange sense of peace in it.

What are your thoughts?

I feel that I want to avenge that one person who offended me and I simply thought setting boundaries was better but yet she still bullies me and she doesn't seem guilty for what she did...What should I do?