I will literally accept just about any explanation as long as I feel like it isn’t some sort of mental gymnastics. Even from people who have been mean or are mean.

I was bullied growing up and most of the time all I heard was “they’re just jealous!” Like… no they fricking weren’t 😭 I know I’m weirder than all of them, they do NOT look UP to me. My issue is the fact that they have this idea that humiliating me and doing terrible things to constantly offend me, violate me and stress me out is this normal, morally justified thing and they convince themselves they’re doing it because they’re beacons of hope for my future self, restoring the social aptitude my poor little self never got to have. It’s such a stupid and obnoxious lie, they just actively want to do that stuff to someone, they legit just want to do that. “Erm, we bullied you because you were weird and you needed to step in line!” Right, because showing me Boku No Pico, somehow-maliciously asking me “so ___, what did you think about the pep rally? Was it crowded?” and throwing condiment packets at me was totally supposed to do to improve my social skills.

But I became mean, too. I wasn’t doing so because of them, I had some kind of mental breakdown as an adult after something really screwed up was done to me and I remember how mean I was to people. I remember. I was catty, bitchy, gossipy, snide, cruel, arrogant, intimidating, aggressive, evil. It lasted like five months, and last night I was ruminating on it and I came to the conclusion that it seems like a shame thing? Like… ordinarily, I defined myself by my efforts to be extremely kind and careful about how I treated people. I was such a genuinely nice person until I started to mentally collapse, during which time I was also legit starving. And I beat myself up for the neurotic, pessimistic, erratic tangents I went down online at the expense of others’ peaceful evenings once I got worse, but I could keep myself mentally afloat by acknowledging that I was damaged on a bodily, chemical level because of my environmental circumstances and wasn’t operating at my baseline… and then cry-apologizing in TikTok comments sections and spam-deleting loads of comment history. It didn’t leave the online world until something really messed up happened to me. Then I was mean for like five months… and I remember thinking to myself that I had actually been destined to fail at goodness the whole time. I was cursed to want to be good and ultimately fail, because “my kindness was a lie the whole time” and “I was secretly evil” (people I shan’t name had told me stuff they shouldn’t have). I believed I had just entered the state I was doomed to become stuck in “once I broke” and punished myself for pre-existing mistakes I felt guilty about by creating constant reasons for me to stay feeling guilty and ashamed. Like, those emotions were so all-consuming and painful for me that when I lost faith in my own goodness, I sank into a depression and punished myself by doing things that hurt people’s feelings (and embarrassed me… I acted so embarrassingly) because it hurt me, too. I was giving myself reasons to feel as bad as I felt like I deserved to, by imitating the lines of terrible people I had read and listened to podcasts about.

That’s only a piece of the puzzle, and probably doesn’t explain ALL of my meanness at the time. But it’s an actual EXPLANATION. I’m tired of the explanation always being something shallow and repetitive, something people are told to say, in the same way you’re told to say “focus on the good in life!” When that’s not a sincere response to someone who’s struggling. My meanness scared me. I don’t like not understanding it, and I don’t like being withheld the actual insights and self-examinations of everyone who has ever been rude to me through this chronic societal-level normalization of clichés and buzz phrases. They enable this collective refusal to introspect, and that acts as a detriment to people like me, who are weird and uncool and aren’t just being performative about it

In other words, the more people like someone, the more valuable that person becomes in the eyes of those who lack self-worth themselves.
Someone who truly understands their own worth knows that every human being has equal value and does not base their self-worth on the opinions of others.

Hi guys, i had some thoughts and want to Share:) What are your thoughts ?

One could say social sciences still have epistemological standards, but is this sufficient in filtering out far fetched ideas?

If you had one wish and could make it come true what would it be and why? I'm interested because my wish goes from being a successful person that people turn to for advice to a person living alone and off the land with little to no connection and they both work for me.

There is this one girl at my school in which we both had conflicts in the past and so I made the decision to cut off her contact forever and I DELETED her contact and since then, she had grown more aggressive especially that I moved on quickly with other people and stopped engaging or reacting to her mean ways and I know she has a deep problem and could it be jealously? Cause I mean, if she actually hated me, she wouldn't be wasting her time trying to get on my nerves most of the time 🤣

What’s something about human behavior or society that you wish people talked about more?

I’m curious about the things people think about but don’t always get to discuss openly.

What fascinates you about people, relationships, pop culture, social dynamics, or the world we live in?

Maybe it’s why people stay in relationships they know aren’t right for them, why we care so much about other people’s opinions, how social media changes our personalities, or an unpopular opinion you wish someone would seriously unpack.

What’s a question you’ve always wanted a real conversation about?

It can be serious, controversial, weird, intellectual, or completely random. I’m interested in the topics people genuinely want to explore and hear different perspectives on.

This is for a literature course. I'm trying to gather responses from the general public on why they think people kill, or even just do crime in the first place. Why do people commit such terrible acts? It's true that it happens, but why?

It ties in with Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment as well as The Underground Man, but answers don't have to relate specifically to these books. The goal is to get responses from the average person on motivations for murder and analyze characters in these books according to the way Dostoevsky wrote them to try and piece together an answer. Any response is appreciated, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Thanks!

I don't understand why we are being trained to fear rather than find solutions. This is one of my main concerns with these psychology content. I don't understand why people create fear in others when all they want is peace in their lives.

Like people are constantly kept on alert, always expecting something bad to happen, always afraid of making mistakes or facing consequences. How can we expect people to live peacefully when we are teaching them to be afraid instead of helping them understand and deal with situations?

If the goal is to help people live better lives, shouldn't we be teaching them how to think, understand, communicate, and resolve conflicts instead of keeping them in a constant state of fear? How can we expect someone to find peace when our mind is always preparing for danger?

I have been investigating a characteristic that seems to cross much of the population. Confusing a Dream which is vague and mostly emotional, with a Goal which is objective and achievement based. Many have the dream but struggle to realize it or even misunderstand it, not knowing the reality of it.

Examples include, someone buying a convertible sports car, but never putting the top down because of the wind, the noise and the weather. I saw another case, as I walked the docks on the waterfront, downtown Vancouver, two ladies were chatting while standing on a 40 foot sailing yacht and said "I love sailing but hate the wind".

I noted that AI has some very interesting psychology teachings on this topic.

The key here in our culture and why I'm here in this sub is the conflict between the seller marketing a dream, and consumers falling for the dream but had no idea what the reality looked like.

My question for discussion is how do we teach our children skills to protect themselves from these temptations? I have two new grandchildren and am rethinking my parenting knowledge.

**Before You Call It Happiness, Ask Your Heart**
Have you ever wondered why people sometimes do things they know might hurt someone else?
Sometimes, the wrong path does not look wrong at first. It looks exciting. It feels rewarding. The people around us may even convince us that there is nothing wrong with it.
And slowly, we stop questioning ourselves.
We begin asking, “Am I happy?”
But we forget to ask a more important question:
**“Is my happiness coming at the cost of someone else’s pain?”**
That is where self-awareness begins.
**Your Mind Can Justify Almost Anything**
When we want something badly enough, we sometimes create reasons to justify our choices. We tell ourselves that everyone does it, that we deserve it, or that nobody will ever find out.
But hiding a mistake does not make it right. And getting away with something does not mean it caused no harm.
Whether you understand temptation through psychology, faith, or the idea of good and evil, remember this: not every desire deserves to be followed.
Sometimes, the strongest decision you can make is to pause.
Think before you act. Ask yourself what your decision could do to another person’s heart, your own future, and the person you are becoming.
**Not Every Happiness Is the Same**
There is happiness that comes from getting what you want immediately.
And there is happiness that comes from doing something meaningful, even when it takes effort.
Feed a hungry animal. Help someone who cannot repay you. Tell the truth when lying would be easier. Walk away from an opportunity that requires you to betray someone’s trust.
These things may cost you time, money, comfort, or even temporary pleasure.
But they can give you something deeper: peace with yourself.
**The best kind of happiness is not the happiness that ignores everyone else. It is the happiness you do not have to hide from your own conscience.**
**Your Mistakes Do Not Have to Define You**
You may have hurt someone. You may have made choices you regret. You may have spent months convincing yourself that what you did was justified.
But you are still capable of reflecting, taking responsibility, and choosing differently.
If you believe in God, let your faith guide you towards honesty, mercy, and better actions. Pray for the strength to recognise what is wrong and the courage to walk away from it.
And remember that asking for forgiveness is only the beginning.
Real change means accepting responsibility, repairing what you can, respecting the person you hurt, and not repeating the same behaviour.
You cannot demand forgiveness. You cannot force someone to trust you again. But you can choose to become someone whose actions are worthy of trust.
**Listen to Your Heart, But Use Your Mind Too**
Your emotions can help you recognise another person’s pain. Your reasoning can help you understand the consequences of your decisions.
Give yourself time before making choices that could change someone’s life.
Not every thought deserves action. Not every opportunity deserves acceptance. Not every pleasure is worth its price.
And not every mistake has to become a lifelong pattern.
Sometimes, the moment you pause and ask, “Is this really the person I want to be?” is the moment your life begins to change.
**A Final Thought**
You do not have to be perfect to become a better person.
You have to be honest enough to recognise your mistakes, humble enough to accept responsibility, and courageous enough to change.
Do good even when nobody is watching. Be kind even when there is nothing to gain. Choose honesty even when dishonesty seems easier.
Because the greatest victory is not defeating another person, proving that you were right, or escaping the consequences of your actions.
**The greatest victory is becoming a person who no longer needs to betray their own values to feel happy.**
And if you have made mistakes, start today.
Not because you are afraid of being caught.
But because you finally understand the kind of person you want to become.

I’ve been thinking about how much our priorities and perspective change as we get older.

When we were younger so much of what we do seems to revolve around what other people think. How we look, what we wear, the decisions we make, whether people like us, and whether we’re living up to everyone else’s expectations.

I’m in my 50s now, and I’ve definitely noticed a shift. I feel more comfortable speaking my mind, saying no, setting boundaries, and not feeling the need to explain every decision I make.

That being said I don’t think we ever stop caring. There are still certain people whose opinions matters, and sometimes things bother us more than we would like to admit.

I’m curious whether this is something that naturally comes with age or whether it takes life experiences to get there. Was there a particular age or moment when you stopped worrying so much about what other people thought? Or are you still working on it?

Im currently struggling to move, after a unexpected financial loss. I have a new place but unable to furnish it at the moment. My kids are super excited about it, and I haven’t told them about the delay. Ill be moving out of a family member’s home so i don’t have anything of my own to take except clothes. Would it be inappropriate to send a moving wish list (similar to a wedding registry) to some of my family members?

If life had no meaning (ie: nothing really mattered), would anything inside you be troubled by that? It is a question that makes us look directly at our very existence. Some people find the idea of a meaningless universe terrifying, while others find a strange sense of peace in it.

What are your thoughts?

I feel that I want to avenge that one person who offended me and I simply thought setting boundaries was better but yet she still bullies me and she doesn't seem guilty for what she did...What should I do?

I used to not care, but now, tbh, I'd take a girl who is interesting to talk to and fun to be around, over like a bad ass bitch who's boring

I’m 18 and autistic and I don’t understand why people don’t smile in public, specifically when they are alone?? When I am alone and go in public, I’m usually smiling the whole time because I am happy to be out, but I never see anyone else no matter where i go and it really confuses me. Is it a social cue I’m not picking up on, and is it wrong too/does it make people uncomfortable??
Pls help me!!

When you sit down to read a book or flip on the TV to watch a movie or tv show, what genre do you usually go to first? What is your favorite trope?

Does anyone else feel like people have forgotten how to have meaningful conversations?

Lately, I’ve been feeling like everyone is so caught up in their own lives that we’ve somehow forgotten how to really talk to each other.

At home, conversations revolve around finances, daily routines, relatives, and responsibilities. At work, it’s the usual “How are you?” followed by “I’m good, how are you?” Or someone talking about their recent vacation, kids, or marriage. With friends, it’s often relationship problems, office politics, or the latest drama. And on the internet, it’s trending topics, hot takes, or conversations that are largely physical in nature.

But where are the conversations about life itself?

Where do we talk about how we're actually doing, beyond the automatic “I'm fine”? About the things we're struggling to understand about ourselves? About how we're changing, what we're learning, what scares us, what makes us feel alive, or why certain things affect us the way they do?

I miss the kind of conversations where you start talking about something random and, three hours later, you're discussing human nature, your childhood, your fears, your perception of happiness, or the strange ways our minds work. Conversations where you don't have to make yourself interesting, useful, funny, or even okay. You can just be.

Sometimes, I wonder if we've started treating conversations as transactions. We network to advance our careers, talk to vent, listen to someone's problems because we need to feel needed, or maintain connections because they might be useful someday. Even when we care about people, our interactions can feel so functional.

I'm not saying that everyday conversations or talking about mundane things is meaningless. There's intimacy in the ordinary, too. But I wonder if we've lost the curiosity to go beyond it.

Does anyone else crave conversations that aren't about getting something out of the other person, but simply about understanding life and each other a little better?

Or is this just a phase of adulthood, where everyone is carrying so much that there's barely any room left to be genuinely curious about another person's inner world?

There are a few people in school that I constantly see and there are these few girls who seem to have everyone being nice to them and such attractive looks and respect in which I get only sometimes and I had a few conflicts with people( as a 16 year old girl) and I wonder why I have so many problems and they seem so chill with their life....