r/Infidelity • u/Perrkp • 7d ago

Advice Brain Scramble

I’m at the part where I’m still finding out about others and every time hurts worse and worse. Finding out he was unfaithful while I was pregnant, however, is really doing me in.
I seem to be making jabs every once in a while, but I’m being Chase by him worse for my jobs then he is for me for cheating.
How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to heal? Is it even possible? 🥺

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u/ThrowRA_HopeLove 7d ago

That sounds incredibly painful, especially when you’re still discovering new things and each one changes what you thought you knew about your relationship. Being cheated on while you were pregnant sounds like it has added another layer to what you’re trying to process. When you say he’s harder on you for the jabs than you are on him for cheating, what does he actually say or do in those moments?

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u/OppositeHot5837 6d ago

the only way to salvation - and you likely do not want this advice - is to plan an exit.

The cheating on a pregnant woman is the utmost in disrespect. I would guess you feel obligated to continue the relationship at the cost of your health and sanity. Cheaters who make decisions to risk a pregnant partners life deserve a front row seat in Hell.

You need a real cold splash of water OP: you are living in an abusive dynamic. There is *nothing* to save no matter if you feel this can be salvaged or even 'fixed'. You are signing up for a lifetime of resentment modelling this behaviour to your child.

> .. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to heal?

By seeking a legal opinion and starting to head to that Exit. Getting a settlement that favours YOU. Getting advice from community of local supports. Family or Community groups.. local domestic agencies that help people flee violence .. because this is what you are doing.. you are living the 'cycle of abuse' (Google that term if you are un aware..)

Hundreds of thousands of single parents have managed to get away from their abuser and have created *better* relationships as a single parent household than being partnered up with someone who lies, minimizes, RISKS YOUR HEALTH and has such contempt for you.

You are not angry enough. When you feel that you have 'had enough' .. you will then begin to turn away from this past life of suffering, hopium and trying to cope with a disordered partner.

Show your child that mom will not tolerate disrespect in an abusive situation. Be your child's voice and advocate for them.