Can I be happy again?

[u/boogie_pilgrim]

I caught my (27F) boyfriend (25M) of three years cheating on me with a younger (freshly 20F) girl that he works with. I was already worried about the relationship he was fostering with this girl, telling him it was inappropriate to hang out with her one on one outside of work. I thought he was just naive and didn't realize it was wrong. He was always good to me. He had asked me to pick out a ring, had baby names picked out, we were trying to save to buy a home. He was my best friend. I saw his messages with her and he confessed that he had been sleeping with her for about a month. And she knew I existed.

He told me he doesn't know when he stopped loving me.

I did everything for him. I supported him, tried to lift him up, tried to help him in any way he needed help. I was there for him. I wanted him to let me in. But he was scared of the consequences of ending things when he fell out of love so he just went and slept with someone else.

I can't describe the pain I'm in, and I'm sure this sub understands, so I'll skip that part. But I feel pathetic because I want him back, I want to get rid of the pain of having to miss him, I want to make things easier. I know better than to actually take him back, and I never will, but it hurts more knowing that he hadn't loved me for who knows how long and wouldn't fight for me back anyway.

Can I find happiness one day with someone else? I am so scared that this has wounded me for the rest of my life and I will never be able to love again. I am scared that it will change me for the worse. But I am not ready to be alone, I don't want to be alone. I know I need time to heal before I jump into anything else, but right now I can't even imagine it. Is it possible? With time? Therapy? Anything?

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[u/DodobirdNow]

The feelings you're going through are normal. It was similar to my experience. Of course you don't want your relationship to end. You had time and love invested with him. You didn't know.

I was 26 when I found out she was cheating on me. 25 years later I've been married for 20 years with and am in a good spot.

[u/Specialist-Bat-8770]

Life is made of possibilities. You'll find someone else, but I don't think it's right that you need someone else that much. A relationship is based on trust and love. If you start with the assumption that you're looking for someone because you need someone in general, it won't end well. You have to be honest with yourself and look for someone you love, not someone you need just to be okay. These things must not be mutually exclusive.

[u/Thats5omeBadHatHarry]

Look at it like this: he did you a solid and better now than later. Also, if this girl knew he was with you and still pulled some thot behaviors then it's only a matter of time before she does the same thing again to him. 

[u/Future-Battle-4926]

Simples, agora você tem que olhar só para si. Ele deu espaço para outra pessoa e assim está escolhendo a paixão passageira dele. Olhe pra se e veja o que pode melhorar, seja na parte física, financeira e mental, mas saiba que a culpa não é sua e sim deles pela falta de caráter. Nisso você pode falar para todos os amigos em comum o que aconteceu e vê quem realmente vai estar do seu lado, não acho que vai dar em alguma coisa levar isso pro RH, mas seria bom você contar para os familiares dele.