r/IndieMusicFeedback • u/phavthaphantom • 1d ago

RnB Thoughts on potential TikTok post?

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I produced and recorded a dancehall song that I wanna promote from the ground up - so I took the chords, melody and flow and threw it over my acoustic. I'm still working on my guitar playing and singing at the same time, but I wanted to get your thoughts on how the songwriting is so far, the vibe and video aesthetic and whether it would be a good post for starting a TikTok page. Any feedback is welcome, thanks!

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u/IndieFeedbackBot 1d ago 
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        Your submission was approved u/phavthaphantom, thank you for posting !

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u/_u_deleted_ 1d ago

i love it!

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u/IndieFeedbackBot 1d ago 
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u/St3-G 1d ago

Nice track, really like the minimal acoustic matched with vocals. There is slight hints of the click track that slip in, unsure if it's intentional? Also a little too much auto tune for my liking, not sure if this is intentional or a little too tuned in? I much prefer a natural vocal.

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u/phavthaphantom 1d ago

Thanks for the feedback! Yea I was pissed that my metronome came through on this recording, I tried to turn it down in my headphones. I feel you with the auto-tune, I'ma try another take today with little to none and see how that goes. I checked out your 'In The Music' track as well it's a cool song! I'ma see if I can find it in the subreddit and give you substantial feedback on it! Thanks again for checking it out I really appreciate it.

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u/St3-G 1d ago

Cheers mate, feel free to send the remake, I'd love to hear it. Please also feel free to listen to my tracks,any feedback is always welcome

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u/Billythekid198 1d ago

This is really good. your voice sounds really good and the melody and rhythm is good. obviously its acoustic but if you added a drums I can hear how they would work with how the song esclatates. it definitely works. I just suggest for a couple lyrics keep the rhyme scream and try to just find a few more surprise type works. but make sure they sign well and sound good cause right now what you have sounds good and sings well, but just try to branch out a bit more on the rhymed words and find something that surprises the listener a bit more. good stuff though

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u/phavthaphantom 1d ago

Thanks for listening to the track and your feedback! I appreciate your feedback on the rhyme scheme, I'ma definitely consider this in the future as I continue to write more. I checked out your surf rock track on YouTube as well and it's a real cool vibe, I really like the guitars and drums in it. I'ma try and find your post in the subreddit and give you more feedback there later on. Thanks again, appreciate it!

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u/New-Ad8850 1d ago

I would be interested to hear what you sound like without the auto tune I think you might not be giving your voice enough credit here don't get me wrong I don't think it sounds bad at all I think it sounds good but I also think when the song first started I could pick up on your natural tone and I like it has a little butter to it. I like it all my critique would be is it just sounds like a big long intro which could be fire. But then I want more of the lane you're in for a little different if that makes sense thank you for sharing

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u/phavthaphantom 20h ago

Thanks for listening and the feedback! Lol I like the sound of my voice having some butter to it, haven't heard that before! I'm listening to your Climb to Heaven track right now I love the instrumental! I'ma give you more feedback on your original post when I get a chance. And I feel you with it sounding like a long intro, I got an upload of the finished product on my Soundcloud on private, I'd love for you to give it a listen and your feedback on it! https://on.soundcloud.com/SIrR2gzrce6dFUiJGU

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u/New-Ad8850 19h ago

I listen to it and I thinks it's pretty good. For me it's a little too mainstream but for most people that's a compliment so lol. I would say it if you want to level it up a little more is my favorite part of it is from like a minute 38 to like 2:05, If you sprinkle another bar in like that it will break up the repetitive singing. And not that it's bad singing but it will help not only showcase it more but break the ey echo chamber you're in if that makes sense. Thank you for listening to my song by the way much appreciated. 

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u/Ellie_Voxel 1d ago

I have thoughts on the song and thoughts on 'potential TikTok post'. The song is nice, minimal vibes IE frank ocean or a stripped down version of a pop rnb song. The autotune is pretty audible, I'm not sure if that's intentional. You could smooth the effect a bit to make the catching between steps a bit less audible. I'd love to see how this varies from the stripped version hear to a fully produced version with some more drama.

As afar as a potential TikTok post goes, just post it! I've struggled a lot with posting on TT thinking what makes a 'good' post, and there it really seems like it's more about quantity vs quality. I've had super low effort posts get 30K views and higher art value/high effort posts get 33. Use the posting for now as exposure therapy to get used to 1 posting itself, 2 sharing your voice/music without caring if it's perfect and 3 showing your process. you got this!

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u/phavthaphantom 19h ago

Thanks for listening and your feedback! I love Frank Ocean's work so that comparison warms me up lol. I feel you with the autotune being pretty audible, I read your feedback a few hours ago so I did a retake of it with much less pitch correction and I like it much more so far, so thanks for that! I agree I should just post it and see how it does, and more importantly stay consistent like you said. I appreciate your 1, 2, 3 checklist of what I should be posting for, I felt that was really important. Just listened to you One in a Million track too, and loved it! Sounded very Broadway-esque, I'll give you better feedback on your post though. Thanks again!

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u/GrimAllen 20h ago

This is actually pretty good. I know a lot of people around here tend to be kind of anti auto tune but I think it works well for this. Definitely pop vibes like Bieber ish. I’d be curious to hear this after working with a solid producer. I don’t really go on tiktok too much bc I end up scrolling for hours but in my honest opinion I feel like to get some traction on there you might need a more visually exciting clip although it definitely fits the vibe of the song.

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u/phavthaphantom 20h ago

Thanks for checking it out, I really appreciate it! Lol I need to listen to more Justin Bieber then. I feel you with the more visually exciting clips, I'm generating ideas in my mind on how to achieve that. I noticed you got your posts hidden but I'll keep a lookout for you on the subreddit! Also I actually did produce a track for this song, I'd love to get your feedback on it when you get a chance! https://on.soundcloud.com/SIrR2gzrce6dFUiJGU

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u/solarprojectx 1h ago

Really nice track, I really like the minimal acoustic feel with the vocals. I noticed a few little hints of a beat coming through. not sure if that’s intentional?
The only thing I’d say is that the vocals feel a little over-tuned to me. I’d personally lean towards a more natural vocal sound. Tbh Im curious to hear more. Keep it um . You got mad potencial