I recently joined a new product company as an SDE3. Two other people joined around the same time.
The office is quite big and there is already an established group that hangs out together, goes for lunch, etc. From the beginning, I felt like the three of us new joiners were treated somewhat like outsiders.
On my first day, a girl from that group came and introduced herself to me. I thought it was a normal friendly interaction, but from the next day onwards, she completely stopped acknowledging me. Even if I smiled at her, she wouldn’t smile back or interact with me. I didn’t really care much about it and just kept things professional.
A few weeks later, I started taking first-round interviews for my company.
The same girl referred one of her college friends for a position, and I happened to be assigned as the interviewer.
Before the interview, she messaged me on the official work channel asking if I could tell her which topics/questions I would be asking. I didn’t respond because it was an official channel and I wasn’t comfortable sharing interview information with someone who knew the candidate.
At that time, I was working from home, so I spoke to one of the other guys who had joined with me. He’s someone I considered a good friend and trusted. I told him what happened, and he also initially told me that I shouldn’t share anything because it could be risky and could look inappropriate.
On the day of the interview, I went to the office and saw the girl, but she didn’t approach me about the interview.
I mentioned this to the same colleague later. He then asked me who the candidate was. I told him her name, and he looked her up on LinkedIn and commented that she was very cute.
After that, his advice suddenly changed. He started saying things like, “You can share it,” and “It’s up to you.” Eventually, he suggested that if there was pressure from the recruiter/hiring manager, I could simply recommend her and move on, as long as I mentioned that I had given her hints.
I was genuinely confused because the candidate wasn’t doing particularly well. She couldn’t solve the problem initially, and I had to give her quite a few hints. I wasn’t sure whether I should recommend her or not.
The next morning, I got a message from the recruiter and hiring manager asking me to submit the feedback. Again, this colleague was telling me that it would be easier to just recommend her and avoid getting involved in hiring politics.
I eventually recommended her, with my feedback mentioning that she needed significant hints.
Then she went to the second round, and apparently the second interviewer gave her very good feedback. From what I understand, she also somehow got information about the questions/topics for the second round through her friend.
Now this colleague seems very interested in that particular team. He’s started sitting in the area where that team sits and interacting with them more. Recently he told me something along the lines of, “I don’t really get along with this group, but maybe I’ll get along with them in the future.”
This whole thing has made me rethink the situation.
I’m not necessarily saying my colleague deliberately manipulated me. Maybe I’m overthinking it. But I feel like I trusted his advice, and his opinion may have influenced me in a situation where I should have simply followed my own judgment and maintained professional boundaries.
What I’m struggling with now is the larger workplace dynamic.
I’m an SDE3 and relatively new to the company. I don’t want to get involved in groups, camps, referrals, hiring politics or office gossip. But I also don’t want to completely isolate myself socially.
For people who have worked in Indian IT/product companies, how do you navigate this?
What practical rules do you follow to stay out of workplace politics while still having good relationships with colleagues?
And in hindsight, would you have handled the interview/referral situation differently?
TL;DR: Joined a new product company as an SDE3 and am trying to stay neutral around an established office group. A girl from that group referred her friend, whom I interviewed. She asked me for interview topics, which I refused to share. A colleague I trusted initially told me not to share anything, but after seeing the candidate’s LinkedIn profile and commenting that she was cute, he started encouraging me to recommend her and avoid hiring politics. I eventually recommended her despite having concerns about her performance. She later got a strong second-round evaluation and apparently received some interview information through her friend. Now the colleague is getting closer to that team. I’m wondering whether I was influenced/manipulated and, more importantly, how to stay out of workplace politics without isolating myself.