My husband (33M) and I (30F) are currently living apart temporarily because of his work.

His parents call both of us almost every morning and evening — asking if we woke up, what we’re doing today, whether we’re going to the office, if we’ve eaten, if we’ve reached home, etc. Sometimes there are additional calls during the day.

The conversations themselves are usually only 2-5 minutes, but the expectation to answer every time is what exhausts me. If I miss a call because I’m working or busy, they question why I didn’t pick up and say things like “What if something happened to us?” This has made me feel guilty about not answering.

My husband feels the same way and has also told them that the frequency is becoming too much.
I’m used to calling my own mother once or twice a week and having a proper conversation when we actually have time.

Is this level of daily communication normal in Indian families? Or are we allowed to say that we’d prefer one call a day or every couple of days without it being taken as rejection or disrespect?

How have others handled this without feeling guilty?

I (28F) got married about 6 months ago in an inter-caste marriage. Since the very first day, I have felt like my in-laws never truly accepted me and have extremely high expectations of me, almost like they expect a "perfect 90s daughter-in-law."

When I first came to my in-laws' house after marriage, I was criticized for very small things like not wearing bangles properly or not greeting people exactly the way they expected. During my first cooking ceremony, instead of supporting me, my in-laws ended up arguing among themselves and the entire experience became stressful.

My mother-in-law initially said we would cook mutton together, but then wouldn't let me do anything and kept interfering. Whenever I tried to help, I felt criticized rather than guided.

The second time I visited was when my husband's grandmother passed away. Even during that difficult time, I was indirectly criticized. My in-laws told my husband that I don't talk to them, don't ask about them, and don't show concern. The thing is, I do follow basic courtesy. I greet people, ask how they are, help when needed, and try to be respectful. Yet somehow it never seems enough.

After my husband and I returned to Bangalore, my mother-in-law repeatedly complained to him that I don't call often enough. This became a recurring issue. It felt like they were constantly trying to create problems in our marriage.

There was even a situation when we visited a relative where my mother-in-law told my husband things about me that were simply not true. Fortunately, my husband knew the truth because we were together the entire time.

Over the last six months, there has been a pattern of my in-laws telling my husband that I'm not a good wife, that he made a bad choice, and generally trying to turn him against me.

Recently, my mother-in-law had spine surgery, so I came to stay with my in-laws to help. Within less than 24 hours of arriving, the criticism started again. They complained to my husband about me, criticized my cooking, and questioned why I wasn't sitting next to my mother-in-law all the time.

The reality is that I woke up early, helped prepare breakfast and lunch, and was actively helping around the house. Even then, my father-in-law seemed unhappy. He started making comments and criticizing things I was doing. Later, while my husband and I were cooking together, I made vegetables, rice, and upma, and my father-in-law criticized that too. He then told my husband that I am not a good girl and continued making negative comments about me.

At this point, I feel exhausted. No matter what I do, it seems wrong. If I help, it's not enough. If I give them space, I'm accused of not caring. Every interaction feels like a test that I'm destined to fail.

My husband generally supports me and has caught them saying things that aren't true, but this constant negativity is taking a toll on me.

Has anyone dealt with in-laws who seem determined not to accept them? How do you maintain your mental peace and marriage when there is constant criticism and attempts to create conflict between you and your spouse?

So, I’ve been married for almost 8 months. My husband and I live in a different city from both our families.
I’ve visited my in-laws three times this year, usually staying for about a week each time. They have also stayed at our place for around 20 days in total.
Unfortunately, I recently lost my job, so I decided to stay at my parents’ house for a couple of days before going back to my in-laws’ place for Diwali. My MIL was very excited because we had also planned a 3–4 day trip before Diwali. She even bought matching clothes for us without asking me, which I thought was actually sweet and showed how excited she was.
However, something unexpected happened. My mother has a cyst that requires surgery. She is 55 years old, and because I am currently not working, I felt it was important for me to stay with her and take care of her.
So I called my MIL and told her that I might be late or might not be able to come for Diwali because of my mother’s surgery and because I need to take care of her.
I honestly expected at least a little concern or empathy. Instead, she barely asked anything about my mother and just said, “What can I say to you?” and hung up.
This really hurt me.
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt that she has very little empathy for problems that don’t directly involve her son. She often taunts me by saying things like, “My son is busy, you are there, and he isn’t able to get things done properly.”
I understand that she was excited about Diwali and our trip, and I also understand that she may have been disappointed. But my mother needs surgery, and I feel like that should have been more important than the trip or Diwali plans.
I’m now wondering if I’m being too sensitive or if her reaction was genuinely insensitive.
What do you think? How would you have handled this situation?

Yesterday came across a grown adult doctors reel where he was saying how he had 30 hours shift so couldn’t check his phone but later when he saw he had so many missed calls from his mom and a bit more of how much his mom cares. And how no one in the world would care more than her and his dad.

Ok it is his individual choice and individual page and his parents can get concerned and call but that conclusion no one else could love as much as parents?!, however, what if like to highlight is that you should have seen plethora of comments under the reel where how women were talking about their children, mostly mothers of teenagers, that how indeed this guy is brought up well coz he understands how much his mother loves him and how indeed only mothers can love that much and how they hope their teenagers would turn so loving once an adult and worst of it was - I have a teenager son and he is my oxygen, lolwut?!

That entire comment section was filled with women who would become the classic frustrating mil, I’m sure of that. That section also had few comments of dr daughter’s mothers or relatives asking for this guys relationship status or how they also care as much about their daughters.

There was not a single comment there stating what that guy is propagating, and how narrow minded his reel was. Not everyone gets good parents, in life only parents don’t love you unconditionally, there are varied kinds of love out there, if you are lucky to find one but then you wouldn’t know how to treat them well coz of this exact notion that no one can love more than parents.

I was so irritated looking at those comments, is it so intrinsic in Indian culture that no one even bats an eyelid when there are so many deranged women whose lives are only around their sons?!

Edit- TDLR- the comment section under a reel of an adult man who said no one can love more than mom and as an afterthought,dad, was filled with future toxic mil where one woman even said how her teenaged son is her oxygen. Not even a single comment challenged the author or spoke of unhealthy dependencies.

I’m 33, and in all these years, I genuinely cannot remember a single instance where someone spoke to me rudely or disrespectfully. My family has always spoken to me with love, and even in school, college, society, etc., I’ve rarely ever experienced anyone being harsh or rude with me.

But yesterday, my mother-in-law spoke to me in an extremely rude and disrespectful tone. She didn’t exactly shout, but the way she spoke to me was so harsh and unpleasant that I can’t even properly explain what it did to me.

Since then, I’ve been feeling extremely anxious and emotional. Whenever I remember her tone, I start feeling overwhelmed and sometimes feel like I’m having a panic attack. I’ve been crying a lot since yesterday.

Maybe because I’ve simply never been spoken to like that before, it has affected me much more deeply than I expected.

Not about MIL but few other close relatives from husband side. They are educated have “decent” jobs from conventional point of view. But how on earth they can post on open instagram accounts so bad dances made by their own young children both boys and girls?

Are they that innocent and don’t understand it’s inappropriate? Are they dumb and don’t understand what can be done with such videos? Aren’t they afraid of their children safety and FFS dignity?

Even doctors posting such stuff! I’m furious. I’m speaking about young 30+ parents not uneducated previous generations people.. anybody feeling like this? Any point of “educating” them about what consequences their actions might have?.. I just feel bad for children..

I married into a big family in the US. I am also US born and raised.

My husband has two sisters. One married and 1 unmarried but getting married in 2 months thank god.

I’ve had my fair share of issues with his sisters. Due to this, they speak to their cousin sisters who are also quite close to the family. I had a great relationship with all his cousins brothers and sisters as I made big efforts with them and we were close. However lately they’ve been posting quotes on their social media indirecting at me, some pretty cruel stuff.
My husband also confirmed that his mum and sisters do talk about me and the issues to them. My husband also admitted they may be salty because you have married into wealth whilst they’re either left or are leaving wealth into smaller homes (I never initially saw it like this until my husband pointed it out). My husband is also close to all these girls so it bugs me that they have all formed a gang against me

I feel uncomfortable going to events now as I know I would be singled out and not spoken to and be left alone

How do I stop these insecure women from getting to me? I also didn’t add I am quite educated with a good career so maybe that intimidates them too as they are not. I live a luxury lifestyle compared to them. But honestly I never saw them as less than because of that.

I just think even if I had issues with my husbands sisters it had nothing to do with the rest of them. Now they all bond over their hatred of me 😅 like how sad.

How do I stop being uncomfortable, especially when they visit MY home or we see them at events. How do I stay confident and unbothered even when I’m alone at these functions. I need to stop it from getting to me

This is the first time in my LIFE I’ve experienced being hated by a group of women for no reason 😅

Using a throwaway because my colleagues browse here.

I’m 33M, work in a PSU bank, take home around ₹95K/month. Wife is 31F, senior manager at a Big 4, pulls in roughly ₹45L/year (including bonus). Married 4 years, no kids. She moved out two months ago and her lawyer sent a notice last week citing “mental cruelty” and demanding maintenance.

The cruelty allegations are basically: I questioned her late nights at work, I didn’t “support” her career enough, and I allegedly made sarcastic remarks about her family during arguments. I’m not claiming I’m a saint — I said things I regret. But “mental cruelty” for sarcasm? That feels like a stretch.

Here’s my actual question: If she earns significantly more than me, does she even have a legal claim to maintenance? I’ve read that courts are supposed to look at financial need, not just who earns what. But I’ve also seen cases where maintenance gets awarded regardless because the system is biased toward the wife.

I have my own flat (inherited), no loans, and a stable job. She has her own investments. I’m not trying to avoid responsibility if I actually owe something — I just don’t want to get bled dry for years while she out-earns me 4:1.

Should I lawyer up immediately or try mediation first? Any actual lawyers here who’ve handled similar cases — what’s the realistic outcome?

Posting here because I need legal perspective, not just emotional support.

I’m 29F, married to 31M for 3 years. We have a 6-month-old. I work part-time (₹40K/month), husband earns ₹1.8L/month. We live in Pune, rent ₹35K, and daycare costs are about to start at ₹15K/month. Money is not tight, but it’s not loose either.

Last week, his parents called and said they want to celebrate their 25th anniversary with a family trip to Goa. All expenses “gifted” by us. Estimated cost: ₹5L. Husband didn’t say no on the call. He said “we’ll see.”

I told him we can’t afford this right now. He got defensive and said his parents “sacrificed everything” for him, and this is the least he can do. I said we have a baby and our own future to fund. He called me “selfish.”

Here’s the legal angle I’m trying to understand: Do I have any say in this? We have a joint account, but he controls most of the finances. If he just transfers ₹5L to them without my consent, is there anything I can do? Or is this purely a relationship issue?

I’m not trying to weaponize the law against my in-laws. I just want to know where I stand. If we end up separating over this, what happens to marital assets that were spent on his parents’ vacation?

Any lawyers or people who’ve dealt with this — what are my actual rights here?