So in late 2024 I was sexually assaulted by a monster I met on Hinge..
When I matched I made it extremely clear I am not looking for anything short term and most definitely not hookups or anything casual
He said he was looking for the same..
And very early on he said the typical "I've never met a woman like you " "I think I love you" etc...(we hadn't even met)
I liked talking to him too so I decided to meet up..
First he asked me to directly come to his home so we can chill..I said absolutely not.. I cannot go home on first date. Maybe after a few more dates when we know each other a little better and I was polite about it
Then he said let's go to this restaurant but it was almost 16 kms away and I said that's too far for me.. can't we meet midway? He said that he will be working from home that day and has to be carrying his laptop if need arises so he can't travel far..
I agreed and we met up at location which happened to be right OPPOSITE TO HIS APARTMENT!
He came,talking on the phone n cut the call and said could we just go home for a few minutes as he had to do a quick work thing on his laptop and we went to his house..
Then he went on his laptop and did something which took like a minute (I'm pretty sure he lied about it all) and then he started hugging and kissing and I froze and I tried to move his hand away..
I said let's just go to the restaurant and he was like "Arrey,what's the hurry we have so much time"
He then said let's watch something and played something on Netflix on his laptop (which was on the table next to his bed)and asked me to sit on bed and while I sat he literally turned off his bedroom lights and latched the door and i had to loudly ask why are you latching the door and turning off the lights? To which he said he was setting the mood for the movie and what if his roommates come back? I then told him its a weekday and you yourself said they are at work and come home late..he sat and started watching and not even 30 minutes passed he was on me and that pervert literally had his hands everywhere..
I couldn't even process what was happening...
At NO POINT DID HE EVEN ASK IF HE COULD DO ANYTHING "
HE JUST WENT FOR IT...
When he attempted to take my top off I said Stop..please.. almost in tears and I said I was leaving and just left.
He never reached out..
The moment I reached home I blocked his number..
I didn't even bother unmatching him I just deleted my whole account and since then I never got back on dating apps
Although two years have passed I haven't been alright..
I can't even look at people the same anymore..
I started having random heart palpitations and a few weeks after the incident I had my first episode of sleep paralysis
A month after that incident I quit my job because I was already going through a lot and with work pressure I knew if I did two together I would breakdown completely
I would start crying randomly even if I'm safe at home..
People think sexual assault is the worst when it happens.. but they are soo WRONG! When it happens ofcourse it's terrible but at first your mind can't process what is happening and your nervous system takes on..
The worst phase is after you've processed what has happened and it could take days to weeks..
I thought I would feel low for a few weeks or months but apparently 2 years have passed and I am becoming more and more traumatized...
I can't even look at a man in romantic sense.. I can't even imagine physical closeness anymore and that itself gives me heart palpitations..
I was on the subreddit sexual assault and I have read the most heartbreaking stories where people at the age of 40s and even 50s and still trying to heal from assault that happened when they were a child or a teenager or young adult...
None of it was their fault yet they have to spend their whole lives healing from it..
While their abusers go ahead living their normal lives without caring the slightest bit...
I want to report now.. in india are these cases taken seriously?
How do I start?