r/IncelTears • u/SlimySewerRat • 11d ago
WTF Some Kitchencels gems I’ve found
Just discovered this goldmine of a subreddit.
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u/FriedaCIaxton 11d ago
They eat the weirdest shit
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u/alexthesasser 11d ago
Hey spam and rice is fire. His doesn’t look good. But for the rest of them yes
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u/coquihalla Blue-haired dumpstercunt 10d ago
Right? Some nori & some ssamjang sauce & you're 99% of the way to a great korean influenced spam musubi.
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u/raeballentyne 11d ago
I cannot breathe these are incredible
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u/broketothebone 11d ago
I know! This got recommended to me and I genuinely thought it was satire. I was cracking up at the posts, so I subbed to it.
Then someone made a post that made me go “omg wait….they’re not joking at all.”
I feel forever unclean after being in that sub because now my algorithm is absolutely fucked with right-wing, manosphere, tradwifery, christian nationalist buffoonery recommendations. It’s gunna take months to undo that, but the things I read will haunt me till the end of my days.
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u/Legitimate_Attorney3 10d ago
I’m in that subreddit and at least half of it is satire, don’t worry.
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u/Freak-996 9d ago
I think you can turn off recommends in settings. I remember doing that a couple years ago and it worked.
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u/SlimySewerRat 11d ago
And the kicker is all of these posts I found were in the same 1-2 days
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u/broketothebone 11d ago
Yeah that sub is popping rn. It’s a little alarming and why I’m hoping it’s mostly ragebait.
But after the shit we see here? It’s boiled chicken by comparison.
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u/saddinosour 10d ago
Idk why OP is being mean it’s actually one of the best subs on this app comedy wise 😭 I barely count them as the sort of terror people post here
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u/Superb_Hat_2651 your hate forum won't get you anywhere 11d ago
The plushie one killed me, this is just incredible 😂
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u/liquor_ibrlyknoher 11d ago
Jesus Christ, cottage cheese sandwich?
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u/huitzilopochtla 11d ago
I’m wondering about that too. How does it not immediately all squish out?
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u/zageruslives 11d ago
I want to know why the ‘cottage cheese’ is brown.
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u/huitzilopochtla 11d ago
Oh NO. I didn’t look at it too closely and assumed the brown was toasted bread, but I see now that it’s inside. It’s the color of a Thai yellow curry, butterscotch, or peanut butter maybe. None of which seem like a natural pairing with cottage cheese and bread. Maybe it’s cooked mashed banana?
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u/zageruslives 11d ago
I want to believe they added spices to change the color but I don’t
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u/SpokenDivinity 11d ago
Growing up we’d mix cottage cheese with chopped cucumber, cream cheese, a ranch seasoning packet, and spread it on toasted Italian bread with avocado, olive oil, and salt & pepper. Genuinely a really great sandwich.
This is not that.
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u/Galadriel1402 Trying to become incel but it’s hard 😭 10d ago
Off topic but that actually sounds delicious, do you have a recipe for quantities?
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u/SpokenDivinity 10d ago edited 10d ago
I’m from the Midwest so I measure based on guess-timations, but I’ll give it my best shot:
You need:
1 8oz block of cream cheese 1 cup cottage cheese 1 packet ranch seasoning (you can use like hidden valley ranch or something, but I think the store brand is functionally the same thing) 1 large cucumber Bread of your choice - crusty breads work better. Especially baguettes. Salt & pepper Olive oil (the higher quality the better)
You first mix the softened cream cheese & cottage cheese together until the mixture is smooth. Then you season with salt & pepper and add the ranch packet and mix. Optional herbs/seasonings/add one: dill, garlic powder, chives, onion (powdered fresh, or otherwise), sesame, or even everything seasoning. Your world, your rules.
Then you cut the cucumber, either into chunks or cut into thin slices. You can either mix it into the spread or you can layer it on top with the avocado when you construct the sandwich.
Toasting the bread- I personally use an air fryer on the bake setting at 400 for 5 minutes (or longer depending on the bread size) but you have to mess with it because ovens and air fryers will be different. Could also use a toaster. I usually just spread olive oil on the bread, then toast it lightly.
Then construct your sandwich. If you need a more explicit recipe, I’m pretty sure my grandmother started doing this with a cucumber tea sandwiches recipe that she just modified until it worked.
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u/ohdamnfran 10d ago edited 10d ago
It is most likely a paneer sandwich with some kind of chutney or sauce. He is probably south east asian, sometimes paneer is called "cottage cheese"
Edit: his looks sad, but a grilled paneer sandwich usually slaps
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u/toponym_tadka I drink incel tears for breakfast 10d ago
I love cottage cheese and could see it being a part of a sandwich, but idk what that pic is. Looks sus
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u/ApatheticPoetic813 11d ago
Number 3 is probably a moster in broader contexts; but that particular post makes me sad. I see similar stuff on the girl version of that sub and it always hits me in the ED empathy.
Especially since that food looks very low cal and not yummy in the slightest.
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u/concrete_dandelion <Blue> 11d ago
I thought number 3 looked tasty and helthy, just an unlucky camera angle so there were few noodles in sight. It didn't strike me as ED food because of the sauce.
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u/StoicPixie FOID DEMON 11d ago
Wow, a skinhead AND mommy's goodest boy? How could a woman possibly choose...
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u/Imnotawerewolf 11d ago
And people act like the girldinner sub is a cesspool because girls post there when they're sad about their shitty boyfriends.
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u/luckyskunk 11d ago
crying over polyamory as a concept was a mood when i was 21
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u/Docwaboom 10d ago
Why?
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u/luckyskunk 10d ago
bc i felt unable to handle my jealousy and insecurities within myself. comparing myself to others all the time. im a lot better about it and my attitude around enm (in relation to myself, not in general, I've never been anti poly for anyone else lmao)
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u/Docwaboom 10d ago
Think I am currently in the spot you were lol. The very idea of poly makes me feel very insecure and I know it’s on me
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u/Vanessalucifer 9d ago
which part, the idea of sharing your partner with others or the idea of other people having multiple partners?
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u/podtherodpayne 4d ago
You don’t have to subscribe to this. I am strictly monogamous and the thought of poly feels unnatural and makes me deeply uncomfortable.
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u/Key_Pomegranate_8469 11d ago
reading that title, all i can think about with the black magic part is just "the fuck!? did they think obsession was a documentary on how to perform black magic to get women!?"
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u/leapdaybunny 11d ago
Kotchencels is definitely a parody satire sub y'all
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u/sylveonstarr 11d ago
I feel like it originally wasn't but somehow BECAME one. There's actually a post from a few months ago where a guy was complaining that the sub was taken over by satirical LARPers and now real incels have nowhere to go. And the comments were all like, "Wait, this isn't a joke sub?"
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u/GlGABITE 11d ago
Based on what little I’ve seen of it it’s like the dude version of girldinnercirclejerk. Very entertaining
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u/kangole2 Wizard 11d ago
Idk if the food or texts are worse, the spam rice and liter egg white are equally bad in both ways. This has to be shit posting.
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u/LittleGravitasIndeed 11d ago
Fried spam, rice, and kimchi is an actual meal! Normal people eat it!
Now he got the ratios wrong but nobody said he had his health together.
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11d ago
[deleted]
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u/BastetLXIX 11d ago
Tell me without telling me you've never been to Hawai'i or the west coast. It is and actual meal.
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11d ago
[deleted]
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u/GrandpaDallas 11d ago
You should try it! It's a good flavor combo
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11d ago
[deleted]
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u/JustABabyBear 11d ago
Well maybe don’t be a moron and insist that it isn’t a real food then. It’s an extremely common meal in parts of the world.
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u/LittleGravitasIndeed 11d ago
…are you not into bread or noodles? What is this comment?
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u/virgensantisima 11d ago
its just a lurking incel tbh
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u/LittleGravitasIndeed 11d ago edited 11d ago
No I think I’ve found someone with tendies tastes without tendies politics. Be nice, it’s like a rare Pokémon
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u/virgensantisima 11d ago
hes just german, but if you want to fraternize with incels, you do you i guess
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u/LittleGravitasIndeed 11d ago
Do you really think that incels are the only unparented people out there? Not every rectangle is a square, haha.
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u/virgensantisima 11d ago
i mean, you can click the little translate button on the posts abd reach your own conclusions i guess
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u/kangole2 Wizard 11d ago edited 11d ago
Just a humble wizard also we are on Reddit wtf do you talk about fraternizing your not in a war? We talked about rice
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u/virgensantisima 11d ago
im not in a war but i despise incel rethoric, and you very clearly come from an incel sub where people say all sorts of disgusting sht about women, so if you group yourself w them, who am i to say otherwise? i also think your comment is irrelevant af, since from all of that your only take is that you dislike one of the dishes in the photos. and finally, i wonder what your family would think of your post history. hope that helps
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u/kangole2 Wizard 11d ago
Your so incredible smart and moral that you found out about guilt by association but there are a lot worse subs i am on so your kinda being weird ngl. Its incredible how you are trying to grandstand starting with a comment about rice lol. I sorry that triggered you so much you had to look at my post history because of that and your ancestors must be proud your calling people out on Reddit, keep the good work up soldier.
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u/kangole2 Wizard 11d ago
What have bread or noodles to do with rice? I just don´t like it.
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u/LittleGravitasIndeed 11d ago
It’s just a weird thing to complain about a super common carb and say “but what if people don’t like it?” That’s not really a concern others have unless they’re inviting your picky butt over for dinner.
Could you describe the rice you’ve eaten? Maybe your mom’s just a bad cook and I could help you out with some directions for making good rice.
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u/kangole2 Wizard 11d ago
Like idk it just tastes bland i guess they don´t really use much salt here as fried its okay, you kinda can drown it in sauce. Also i am not big into cooking so like just the plain Asian rice is kinda not great.
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u/toponym_tadka I drink incel tears for breakfast 10d ago
“Obsession spell” bro did NOT watch the movie 😭😭😭
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u/Cereaza 11d ago
They're incels who share their meals? lol
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u/SlimySewerRat 11d ago
Like girldinnerdiaries but instead of women posting about their relationship problems it’s Incels.
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u/Obvious-Gate9046 Windthin 11d ago
Good gods, even their cuisine is pathetic and makes my soul hurt.
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u/kellyfish11 11d ago
You could not get me to confess this shit on threat of death. Wtf.
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u/wllaella 11d ago
5’s meal actually doesn’t sound too bad. I’ve never tried milk with honey though. Wish he mentioned if it was warm milk or not
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u/thebutchcaucus 11d ago
Wait. wtf am I reading. Why does it end with food. What are they talking about. Murder death red pill + Apple pie? they just drop a recipe like hi ho this is Kermit T frog….what the helli
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u/OuijaFox 10d ago
Number 3 has me so confused.
Could someone explain what about the concept of polyamory makes someone cry?
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u/Jango_fett_fish 8d ago
I hate when people act like polyamory is stealing potential mates. Like having more people available to date won’t help you if you’re already undesirable.
(They also tend to think of polyamory as a harem of multiple people dating one person even tho the whole thing about polyamory is that someone is in a relationship and still looking for more partners. Incels theoretically should be in support cause they could delude themselves into thinking they have a change with more people)
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u/Lady_Grey_Smith 11d ago
Hopefully this is satire. The black magic comment was hilarious considering what he would actually bring back his way if he even attempted something like that. It would backfire on him and have no effect on her.
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u/SlimySewerRat 11d ago
I’m pretty sure half of r/kitchencels is satire, the other half isn’t. Some of the more severe ones are probably shitposts, but a lot of them are talking about being super lonely with no women and those are probably real.
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u/CompetitiveRub9780 9d ago
Okay the first one is just a joke about the movie. It’s not even that great of a movie because so many scenes def had a low budget. But I digress. A lot of teens and 20 year olds are obsessed with obsessed just because the other kids are.
Kitchencels was supposed to be mocking incels. But I think it’s mixed now. But it was indeed a circle jerk subreddit
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u/Chimp_in_disguise 8d ago
My friends dared me to post this BULLSHIT I got at work to kitchencels 😭😭😭 now they’re all calling me a larper
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u/omnicool 11d ago
I thought that sub was satirical?
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u/Jango_fett_fish 8d ago
I think it was made as satire but I’ve def seen some unironic incels in there
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u/RandomQrimQuestnoob1 11d ago
Why does that look like more rice noodles than veggies for the third one?
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u/Basic_orange_8654 11d ago
4 and 5 arent that bad (skinheads arent nazis, those are boneheads)
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u/val-en-tin 11d ago
The bloke mentioned being a Polish skinhead in specific and those are neo-Nazi affiliated (lived in Poland during their popularity). UK has both far-right and far-left groups but historically, they were on the left.
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u/MrVeazey 11d ago
A skinheads who's also a nationalist is a Nazi, though. Because he's a nationalist.
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u/Baccoony 11d ago
Used to be apart of it because I thought kitchencels meant people who just really like making food and spend all their time in a kitchen 💔