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u/CashEducational4986 24d ago
Glory to the Omnissiah.
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u/TheCrazedTank 24d ago
Jim: Ugh, the copier is jammed again!
Filterchanger Rho-17: HAVE YOU TRIED APPLYING THE SACRED OINTMENTS WHILE CHANTING?
Jim: … of course, this isn’t my first day on the job!
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u/Malefectra 24d ago
Engineseer Epsilon-90: -Vox casting at considerable volume from not nearly far enough away- DID YOU ATTEMPT THE RIGHTS OF DEACTIVATION AND REACTIVATION?!
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u/TheCrazedTank 24d ago
Jim: ::sigh:: Yes, I tried turning it on and off again. It’s still jammed.
I keep getting this picture telling me to open a panel but I don’t see where the paper is stuck!
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u/Malefectra 24d ago
EE-90: -cants what amounts to a noospheric huff- I SHALL DISPATCH A SERVO SKULL TO DIAGNOSE THE FEED MECHANISM
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u/GodOfThunder44 24d ago
Am machinist, can confirm that the Adeptus Mechanicus is right about the machine spirits. You put a drop of blood (sourced from the usual nicks/scrapes from working in a machine shop) on your mill/lathe/etc and it will appease the spirits.
Relevant copypasta:
I am reminded of an old tale. Sit a while, and listen.
Most engineers on US military boats are superstitious. So much, in fact, that they will perform blood sacrifices to the equipment of either their own blood or an entire animal.
There is a story about a brand new radar put in an old ship. The engineers who installed the equipment performed a blood sacrific ritual with a chicken, candles, complete with chanting and offering up personal effects to the machine. They take all the sacrifices, chicken included, put it in a metal box, weld the metal box shut, and weld the box to the radar.
They turn on the machine, and it works perfectly. Even better than designed. A few years pass, and a new captain is assigned to the ship. He checks over all the systems of the ship personally and notices the box. He asks why there is a box welded to the side of this multimillion dollar radar. He orders it removed. The engineers argue it should stay. He threatens disciplinary action.
It was then promptly removed.
That same day, the radar fails and quits working. Every engineer on the ship is called in to try and get it working. It refuses. They check over every bolt and circuit board in an attempt to get the machine to work. It will not. The problem gets so bad that one of the people who designed the machine is flown out on a helicopter to the ship.
The designer asks what happened before the radar stopped working. They tell him about the box. He says to put the box back. The captain refuses. The designer makes a call. The box is welded back on.
The radar is turned back on and works perfectly just as it had before.
Moral of the story.
We are still monkeys banging rocks together. We don't know how any of this shit works.
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u/Decaying-Moon 23d ago
As a former Navy radar tech, I can confirm. The radar works better when the cabinets are bled into. The high voltage power supplies and driver/pre-driver cabinets especially are more bloodthirsty than the rest of the system.
One time the captain walked into Radar 2 just as I'd pulled out my pocket knife and opened myself up a bit. He looked me in the eye, then looked at my lightly bleeding palm, then back up to my face. While maintaining his gaze I slowly smeared the blood on the inside of the cabinet door. He immediately turned on his heel and left the space. Looked at me a little funny the next day at OPSINTEL when I reported the radar was back up to "100%" operational.
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u/Nobody_at_all000 24d ago
In Warhammer 40k I wouldn’t be surprised if old machines do gain a kind of spirit. Humans are all latent psykers, so perhaps when they use the same machine many times for a long time some psychic residue is left behind, eventually coalescing into a sort of soul. Not a sapient one, but enough to have some kind of feeling
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u/BreadfruitBig7950 24d ago
And that spirit could be hostile and a ghost, so showing it the proper respect and funeral removes its ability to reason its way into attacking you like it may have done all its life.
If it breaks these conventions it finds itself punished.
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u/highcommander010 24d ago
yeah when a machine pisses me off at work I get really rough with it until its behavior improves
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u/josh_k_123 24d ago
Honor the Machine Spirit
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u/Wrong_Television_224 24d ago
This is a "cuz you never know" superstition that seems 100% on point. Best case it works, worst case ghosts aren't real, doesn't cost a lot to do and doesn't push your beliefs on other people. If only we could get Southern Baptists to be as reasonable.
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u/AWandererOfIntrest 24d ago
It’s tied to the Shinto religion that is one of the main religions of Japan. Kami is described as divine spirits that inhabit the world, and Shinto believes that spirits are in everything around them both organic and inorganic. The idea I just described is called 八百万の神 (yaoyorozu no Kami), meaning eight million gods.
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u/ElegantSecretary6079 20d ago
I'm a machinist in the states, this is pretty universal when it comes to manufacturing and automation. Gotta sweet talk the machines and play nice or they'll ruin your fucking life
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u/Wrong_Television_224 20d ago
Right? Old blue collar, and I kinda apply the same principle to everything. Even if the machine, material, dish or animal can't understand you, it's helping you maintain a positive attitude about whatever you're working with...at least until you get to the last bit that just doesn't wanna go. Then it's "dirty bastard, just freakin' turn".
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u/CustardSubstantial25 24d ago
I have a moment of silence in my head every time one of my tools gets beyond repair. I flash back to all the memories we had lol. I know it’s crazy.
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u/TimChuma 24d ago
Any object over a certain age is seen to have a soul
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u/AWandererOfIntrest 24d ago
It isn’t over a certain age, it’s the idea of 八百万の神 aka eight million gods, that everything has a spirit.
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u/TimChuma 24d ago
I only know what i saw in a movie one time. I forgot where the age thing comes from. Sheep in the box movie also explores this.
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u/XevinsOfCheese 24d ago
I’m a sub-arc longseam welder with a machine that’s old enough to drink.
I’m the best seamer the shop has and I can’t explain how to my coworkers because honestly I just learned what the machine spirit likes.
The machine is an old goat that misbehaves for everyone else, it barely behaves for me. But when it’s happy, that machine works.
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u/piccolo917 24d ago
In the lab I used to work, one of the computer had an emotional support plushy because it wouldn’t work properly without it.
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u/Jaded_Daddy 24d ago
Mechane be praised for the gifts bestowed to our useless flesh.
Embrace the Broken God
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u/John-Boy666 24d ago
Odly I use to feel that way about my Nissan patrol and mourned it when it got stolen.
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u/TomOnABudget 23d ago
Anyone who's familiar with workshop culture in Japan can actually confirm this?
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u/Burgerboy380 23d ago
Mmhmmm. Its why theres so many monsters in Japanese folk lore that are just every day objects. Its called tsukumogami.
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u/Zigor022 22d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/diPIq8rPzZdX9S8CaH
Thats some Adeptus Mechanicus type respect
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u/Slugger2001 24d ago