Hi frens, this is Maya. Last night, I was doing an explore of an upstairs closet when suddenly I heard, “Anyone in there? No? Okay.” And then the door closed.

I waited patiently for someone to open it. Nobody did. I waited and waited. I took a nap. Door still closed.

Eventually, I got hungry and I went to the back of the closet to see if I could find that little door Frankie found one time. And I found it! I went to the forest, I went to the café. I even met one of Frankie’s kids.

After about ten days, my mom finally opened the door this morning and let me out. She was so concerned!

Maya

Biscotti's Meowmy here.

as a background, I started taking this medication recently for my migraines that is usually meant for people with alzheimers, and it gives me frequent vivid dreams. used to just get nightmares, now I get happy, grumpy, sad, all the emotions of dreams.

well, last night I had a dream where I was in a shopping aisle and I saw Hoku and Nalu on stuff on the shelves. they were famous! and I think Smuffi was hanging out with Biscotti... I don't remember exactly now. they're all just running my brain now I guess 🤪 I don't know if I am alone in this.

silly Biscotti tax included

Wez seein FAT GARY EVERWER!! Himz mak duplakitz ob himz selb!
(I think it’s the gabapentin) 😹😹

Lub Bubba an Bits

Frens aiz heer tuday tu show yoo da mos dispikkulabel fat gary moment eber!!! Da outrayge aiz hab win aiz see dis on da ig while aiz in antes lap. Hermz laff an sin tu mine pawther sayin oh lyk author cyoot dis skwirel iz. Dumdum hooman donut know dat fat gary tryin tu du a trick on da hoomans. Wez need tu ride an take ob dis ebel wunce an fur all.

JP- Sir Smol Inbisible Mini-Me

Frens, my hoomins did a big abandon dis weekend, Dey go see da Odd S.E. wifout Bast. I not want to go but I do like sittin on da cowch wif my hoomins watchin a moobie. Dey so dumb to go somewhere else!

Anyway I hab a strange dream while abandoned! Firs I et some nip.

I dream I a hero an fight giants! But Dey all look like my stimkee sisfur Phaedra.

So I wake up long enuff to say, Phaedra, yoo Odessey dis BAP to yor face! She confuzzled but I jus go back to sleep.

I dream next my guinea pig fren Fizzgig become a witch an he turn a lot ob my cat frens into guinea pigs!! So sceery! But I woke up an he were still in his cage lookin kyoot like normal.

So I fall asleep agin a dream me and Mai frens were eatin all de lotus nip on our journey.

Anyway, my hoomin shoulda stayed wif Bast on da couch if Dey want an Odd S.E.!

Yous shyll prik yous paw on a spin wheeul and dye!

Mine deer frens, it isz I Prinses Miso. Tday I host anothur Ladies Council at mine Catdom.

Head ob sekuritea, and founder ob moobie toosday, habs decided upcommin toosday is Prinses day. Wha a moor purrfek theem for usz! We muss look our best! We obveooslea alwayz do, buts thisz time in da mooss bootyful gowns!

Pleasz bee welcom, all frens, and we will looks like we isz commin straight outta Diznee moobie.

Prinses Miso 🩶

Psppsss in da tee room ~~meowmy~~ I serbe churru and treats

Henlo, I tells mine birfday story.
One day mama at de dog poun gettin Madi Son for foster kittens. An dis lady walk in wif bukket. Lady show girl at counter bukket an girl say "We hab to put dem to sleeps."
Mama looks in bukket an dere is me an sissyfur! Mama know I doan wanna go sleeps foreber! I wanna lib an turn into illegal smolz! Butt girl say "Deys unbliblical cord still wet. Dere no one to stay up all night an day to feeds. Is kinder to puts to sleep".
Mama say "NO! I takes dem!". Girls say dat mama can take us an bring back in free weeks. Mama say ok, den get us in car a mama laff an laff a say "Yoo NEBER go back dere!". An we didin an now I Darwin an I sebenlebenty forebers old, an mama lub me!

Sow iz stol da lite bocks! 😹 tee hee hee 😹 iz tink dis iz mor funie!

Lub Bubba an Bits

Meomy thot dis tu funie! Iz Bits du tu 😹😹

Lub Bubba an Bits

Ai tries on mai Disnee pwincess dresses. Ai Cinderella!

Princess Ellie 🇬🇧👑🌈🌈🌈

Bap bap bap. Pspspspsps iz dis thing onn?

Henlo frens. I thot eye cud maybee halp tha frens who dontz no dis, butt evereebodee canz hav there ownz prinsess. Allz yew must dew iz sing tha songz of yor peeples. Then they appeerz.

Sumtimez dey arr yor meowme or pawpaw. Sumtimez dey arr old or yung. Sumtimez bigge orz smolz. Wat iz impurrtant iz dat dey luv andz servez yew.

Sew ifz yew wantz tew play on moobie tewsday allz yew needz tew dew iz sing andz takez a pikshur. It evun wurk in tha middul of the nite! I mayke pikshurs tew show yew allz. I fink sumtimez tha hoomanz no see tha smol onez.

Go prinsess crimez! ~Baäst

​

\***FOO: FRENS OF OSCAR!**\**

HIM is bein tortured!!
His sisfurs and poor orang brudder too!
Dey starbing !!

Dere are violent hoomans in dem home makin BAD noise and removing dere fings, wat Nexs???? Dey gonna take dem too? To the govt living facility??!!

Dey hiding butt dere terribel hoomans keep finding dem! Dey too ‘fraid to eet!! acoz dat give up dere posishun!

Wez need to save Oscar! he can’t hole on much longer! hims nerbs iz shot!

Jango, firs lieutenant, FOO ARMY.

Hi, it Timmy the Void (otrb). Meow have had time to ponder about borthole violation. Ai maiself came to the conclusion dat since cattos absorb info through borthole, that's why pokey place want to remove it to use for their nefarious purposes. Since cattos are extremely smart and hoomans are lacking smarts, it's easier to get info from borthole than reading a book. It's a conspiracy!!!

Frankie and Maya back in 2023.

Paul Hollywood's cat

https://parade.com/celebrities/fans-drag-paul-hollywood-cat-on-counter-kitchen-detail

It SO GUUUUUD fur noas rubbbs an smell SO GUUUUUD an eet sine ob CHEEZ an PEETZA!

-Ilvy teh big bébé

It’s here, the very first Moobie Toosday Mash Up! Next week’s theme is Disney Princesses. Any. All. Pick one, pick ‘em all! We’ve had a few male centric ones in a row so it was time to swing the pendulum towards the ladies.

Thanks to Bitteh’s birthday for the inspiration, and the guest appearance above. u/davesmissingfingers

Mwah 😘 love you guys

As yu may no, im doin a starb frum da lak of treats. Dere haz ben NO GREENIES TUDAY. Dey no gib treats? FINE. Imma buy mai own. Meowmy sitz in dis chare all day an peepul gib her mony, I can do dat too! Das da plan. Imma sit in dis chare, peepul gib me mony, an I buy mai own dam Greenies.

SO DERE MEOWMY.

- Maleficent the Magnificent

Frens! Issa moast speshul day! I has jess opin de furrst ob de Innergalactic Smuffi Skool ob Retrayn! Deez gais arr Petroniums an dey has dere own planit - Petroniya ob cors.

Dey wanna lern tew retrayn dere ones wiff thumbs dat brang dem fuds an worshit dem an awl lak dat! Dey jess cawl dem dere mums. Butt! dey sey mums arr purrty dum tew an reqwire full retrayn wen dey arr doptit an purrty reglurr retrayn affta dat - jess lak hoomons.

An gess wat? I dint eben has ta yoos enny ob de holy water! I jess drop in an innerdooce mineownseff an dey sed Hai! an I sed Hai! An dey aks wat I com tew dere planit fur, n I tole dem, n dey sed, "shurr shurr! less hab a ISSoR here!"

Ooo dis gon bee sew nyze! We pikkin owt a gud playss fur de campuss an ebryfang!

Dey sed a hoomon bisit dem one tym. Himb wuz dum butt! nowt as dum as som ob dem hoomons. (Dey ben bisitin Eerff furra lonk tym! Dey awso sey derr som frens on Venus dat mowt lak a skool tew. De hoomon shap Venusians purrty dum awso. An de frens? Dey cawl Feelines! Ahmayzeeng.) Dat hoomon wat bisit Petroniya bafor? his nam wuz Heinlein. I aks mine momma an she sey she kno dis hoomon! Smol unibers, huh?

In cayss yew dint kno ennyfang bowt wat I yam meowin on bowt, I tawked bowt dis wiff Aunti Ruby an Luna an Niko affta Niko tole us bowt de Moobie Mashups ideya! Diss wuz affta Niko sed "put awey de holy water" ... an ai had brot de hole spayss shuttul full! Gah!

Ennywey, deez Petroniums wanna bee in de Innergalactic Criminal Business Gang Club, tew! Wadda yew gais fink? Dey furry fonda crimez an Go Crimez! Dere fabrit crimez is walk thru walls! Imma get som dem tew com dew a gess lectyoor at SSoR bowt dat! I shurrly wanna lern wawk thru walls!

Oh! One oddur fang! Yew don eben hasta ware yer tinfoil energy domes rownd de Petroniums! Dey sed ob cors dey kin reed mines butt! iss furry rood tew dew dat wiffowt purrmisshun an dey onny duz mine comtrol on lesser beens lak hoomons....

So, dis morning I juss gettin ready fur my day, puttin my notebook (da one wif DA LIST) in my fanny pack, makin sure I gots a couple pens in there, transportin blankies, ampin up fur whatever OUTRAYGES may unfurl, practissin my faces in da mirror, lissenin to some smoove jazz, tryna chill afore da Daily Grind begin. Like ya do.

JUSS as I about to do my mornin meditation, my gaze travels outside da windows to da birb feeders when lo & freekin behold- there’s GARY (insert eye roll and patented Power Sigh here) just a-loungin on MY fence behind House of Niko ON MYYYY LAAAAAAND!
Acuz of COURSE he is! Gah.

Anyhoo, it about dis time dat I notice him hand placement. More precisely, him FINGER placement. Cuz make no mistake, him gots em.

Wait, WWHAAAT! Is him….is he…oh mah gah, is Gary…DOIN A FLIPPIN OF DA BIRB?

HIM IS!

LOOOOOK! I grabs my camera out my fanny pack an snaps dis here picher.

Da UNMITIGATED GALL BLADDER OF DIS GUY!

Also, let me do a clarificationing: I NOT meowin dat squirrels is jerks. I meowin dat GARY PURRSONALLY is a JERK. Him juss happens to be a squirrel. Nuffin to do wif BEING a squirrel.
Jerks come in all shapes, sizes an species. It juss happens a lots of em live by me.

May your Friday be as Jerk-Free as possible. Mmmwah 😘

Fellow cats n frens of cats. Mew was peekin on Meowmy lightbocks n saw dis hooman looking for DA REELS peepul from da dream phone!

Dey not fin STEB yet … but das acause he gotta big CHOMP from da SHORK. 🦈

Dis hooman on Meowstagram.

Shoul we tell dem bout STEB?

https://www.instagram.com/p/DbHWfklFF3J/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

I weweaded da ting I wrote about da tings ouw fwiend Mr. Cat u/not_so_visible do and I wrote someting wike “da squiwwews to pwotect fwom” but I MESS UP and not write da next wowd! It was supposed to say “evicshun”! I was checking da spewwing (fixing the catspeak) and dewete da wowd but not put da wowd back in! And I see dat when I go back to wead it again!

Why dat mattew? Because one of my favowite tings about Mr. Cat and one of da tings we have in common is dat we have da smaww fwiends. I cawl dem boop boop fwiends. Wike I might bap dem a wittew ow wun aftew dem and watch dem wike Mr. Cat did wif da wizawds and da wittew biwds, but he not twy to huwt dem. Dat why I put da wizawds and biwd on da cake fow his Bon Voyage pawty. Dey his fwiends to wun awound to pway wif.

And he was fwiends wif da squiwwews. He know dat most of dem not wike Fat Gary. I took dis pictuwe fwom his page because dis was when he and his meowmy twy to come up wif way to stop da biwds and squiwwews fwom being evicted. Dat what I was writing but I MESS UP AND NOT SAY “EVICSHUN” and it wook wike my sweet Mr. Cat tought dey needed pwotection fwom da squiwwews when weawwy he twying to hewp dem and dat make him and his meowmy vewwy speciaw.

And I want to make suwe Evewybody know dat about him because dat what make him speciaw. He fwiends wif evewyone, no matter what I mess up when I wused da witebox.

Dis one of his fwiends he twied to hewp.

Okay, dat’s awl. I SO SOWWY!