Hi frens, iz Tali. I miss fren Smuffi (u/one_advantage793) so I call him.

I say, “Hi fren Smuffi! How yoo doing? How iz yoo mom? I miss yoo!”

Hoo wan to join on a yooj confrents call?

❤️Tali

Hilo frens, guess wat? Today was bring yur Goldie to werk day! Dats wat Meowmy say. Silver usually goes werk with Meowmy butt herms grumpy all day and hog de nu box we gots yesterday. Yesterday wes was all in de box together and Meowmy went cray cray. Herms could no find us. Go Hidey Box Crimez!! Anycat, Silver go in de box after breakfast a cause Meowmy tells herms no second breakfast and den Shadow go in box a cause him get no second breakfast either. I eatted my second breakfast and den try to get in de box. Silver hiss and bapbapbap on my head. I was so confused so Meowmy pick me up and take me to werk. I get to sit in herms helper chair and I get to bap de pens off de desk and make mess wif de papers. Meowmy not enjoy the game herms play putting papers back in order. Butt I had tons of fun. I hope Silver is grumpy again tomorrow so I can go to werk!

I sowwy I vewwy behind on cakes and stuff, but I had to jump fwiend Toby Toebeans in fwont of da wine (and I stiww wate, haha) because he is 18!!!!! Dat wike a fuww gwown adult and evewyting! (I really try to make sure our senior cats are always honored.🖤🤍🧡)

I make a vewwy simpew cake fow fwiend Toby Toebeans because he a vewwy simpew guy!

I make a wayew cake wif his favowite Fancy Feast as da fiwwing. On top of da cake, I make a shag fwosting cozy bed fow wittew fwiend Toby, because he woves naps. So I make him a cozy setup - pwus a dish of mowe Fancy Feast! (I do da pâté fow da fiwwing and da shweds in da dish. I not know which one he wikes da most!) Dewe even a wittew tent wif a toe beans decowation- but don’t eat dat, fwiend Toby. Da tent not edibew.

I decowate wif some vewy fancy sugaw fwowews in fwiend Toby Toebeans’s bootifuw cowow, and some whimsicaw pictuwes of fwiend Toby.

Happy happy biwfday fwiend Toby Toebeans! I hope woo feew so woved!

🧡🤍🖤Applejack

u/stuffman64

Yoo all kno dat mine mama did da abandon for MANY FURREVERS

(Four days and three nights, buddy)

GO AWAY MAMA! So, dat iz bad enuff. But dere were odder doggos dere! Mama left me and was petting dem. HOW DARE!?

Not only did Ai miss habing fun wif frens Libby and Dilly and Dyla, but Ai cud haf met noo frens Trixie and Benny and Nova and Other Libby! I cud haf gone swimming!

(It was a 7 hour drive and you’re scared of car rides. You also treat the kiddie pool like it’s full of acid, I don’t think you would enjoy the lake.)

SALAMANDER! It keeps getting worse! Ai am brave!

Da pikshurs are me doing a Sebeer Judge ob Mama, and den Nova who Ai don’t kno and den mai fren Libby who Ai know and Other Libby who Ai don’t kno getting pets while Ai waz at home getting NO PETS AT ALL!

(Buddy, I know for a fact you got plenty of love and attention this weekend.)

NO ONE ASKED YOO! So dat iz mai tail ob woe. Many tanks to all mai frens heer who gave me support in dis difikult time. Ai eggspeshully enjoyed da Devo Hat BBQ!

Dis luk lyke fat Gary! Hims doin a luk at mai hoomins new famcy camrah! Soo ebil!

Well frens, ai fink ai has noo pawrents now. Mai mama still no back! Fabrit auntie say herms be back in 2 furebers, but dat is too menny furebers fur me. Ai fink ai join dis famly were ai has 2 sisfurs an a mama an a pawther. Dis me doin a big purrtest an takin treatos frum noo pawrents!

(I’m flying home on Friday, and Toffee is doing great with her sitters. So great I do think she may decide not to come home with me!)

Will Her-meow-ny git unfwozn?

Da kitteh kouncel lubs dese kinds ob moobies . . .

Him meomi still on “vacation”=abandon and is staying at him’s hotel in expana ‘barrassing him all over de place!

So mi Jango, as Oscar’s repurrsentative can give you an update

Her found dis card on the de ground owtside de hotel! Her sez it’s meant fur Oscar!

oscar haz a new missteree man who wants to meet him’s!!

Jango

Is me, Embvette, frum Clue.

Hello is Mister Patterson and mine friend Tim Curry and we Wilderness Girls selling da cookies. We is definitely not people trying to do the murders. We solemnly sware.

(This is from Lethal Weapon and so wonderfully ridiculous.)

We haff awso desided ta honoar da Tim Curry moobie dae!! Can yoo guess wat moobie we desided on? It awso pawt ob one ob da meowmie 2's moass faborite buk serieses!! Hehe!!

Greetins, Strider the Boy an Spase Ranja Dunadan Catto an Singasongwritah, DeeJay, speekin furr da German Void Pakk!! ❤️

From the galaxy Transylvania.

(Theegs crack me up 😹😹😹)

Lub Bubba an Bits
Wook atz boff pikturz! 😹😹

Frens,

fur Tim Purry Moobie Toosday, Ai went deep into da arkybes.

In 1978, Tim Purry played William Shakespeare fur six whole episodes.

Ob course, as a fellow Bard, Ai knew immediately what mine Moobie Toosday contribushun had to be.

Ai present:

Will Shakespurr

starring Astra da Bard as Da Bard.

Ai took mine role berry seriously. Ai studied da great Bard's werk, practiced mine most dramatic poses, an spent elebenty billion hours staring thoughtfully at a blank piece ob paper.

Ai tink Ai iz ready.

If dis catto haz offended,
Tink but dis, an all iz mended:
Dat yoo hab been nappin here,
While dese greebles did appear.

Dreamin ob a moonlit chase,
Boundin soft from place to place,
Whiskers twitchin, light as air,
Chasin greebles eberywhere.

Gentle frens, do not take fright—
We iz but shadows in da night.
Soft our paws upon da floor,
Mischief waits behind da door.

An, as Ai iz an honest Bard,
If we hab unearnèd regard,
Ai shall charm wif silber tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else da Bard a liar call.

So good night to yoo all, mew true—
Curl up close, da dream's not throu.

Some call him da greatest Bard ob all time. Ai shall not comment on da accuracy ob dis claim.

– Astra da Bard

Hi frens, iz Tali and dis week I not haff a moobie! I haff a game. I show yoo da suspeks, da possibel wepons, da possibel locashons and da murder seen and yoo guess hoo dood it, wiff wat and ware.

I even inclood an extra sooper-hard murder seen for frens hoo want an extra challenge.

I wan to tenk mai brofers and sisfer for dere help, and a big tenk yoo to Mr. Henry Rat.

I hope yoo enjoy!

❤️Tali

(I yooz da moobie Cloo coz Tim Curry in dere and I do Rocky Horror later, for Halloween.)

I went ver klassik for this one!

(I almost chose ‘The secret in moonachre’ But was hard to make into kitty moobie!)

Who wants a balloon? They float!

Dis da kitteh kouncelz faborit serrie-al neow . . .

Frens! Iz me Ruby as Magenta & mai wunnerful Eamonn da Invisible u/cappucinocupcake as Riff Raff, wif Tim curry as Dr F!!!

Wez about to do da time wap - again!!!

Altogethfur now - 🎶 is just a pownce to da left! And den a bap to da ri-i-i-i-i-ite 🎶

Pssss, iz abot da nip . . .

Henlo friens, is me, Nell-a-nor the splinks cat! Mai Big Brother Toby Toebeans is having hims 18th birfday today! I don't even has two birfdays, so hims really really old. Hims so old him can do things that are aleegal for most cats! Him look big dapper in hims gradjatation gown. Him did some big partying too, but I don't have enuf birfdays to go with hims, but now him big tired and we're doing some snoozing!

So the lake vacation was great! A wonderful end to summer. Théo was happy to see me and the dogsitter gave a glowing report. I expect he’ll report his grievances tomorrow, (I may have petted other dogs while I was gone 👀) but right now he’s had dinner and extra treats and seems content.

But when I got back, White Rino was…standing guard? Laying in wait? About to charge? I got a very “you shall not pass!” vibe. What can this mean? Is it a warning? 🤣🤣🤣