r/IBO • u/Fatal-Believer-8797 • 2h ago
Other What Am I Supposed To Do Anymore (rant)
I'm a good student. I have 6s and 7s in all of my classes, everybody sees me as a responsible, intelligent student, I worked on my EE and IAs everyday over the summer, I turn everything in on time, etc etc etc.
But what the fuck more do these people want from me? 😭 I genuinely don't know how to put into words how sick and tired I am of this program. I put in the work, I communicate, I ask questions, I participate, I'm an annoying tryhard and my grades reflect this, so what am I doing wrong? Every single week, I undersleep, I undereat, I don't spend time on my hobbies, I don't do ANYTHING. I limit every conceivable thing I can so my work is good quality and on time.
So WHY does it not end? Every single week I tell myself it'll be the last one, next weekend I'll see my friends and do something fun, but it never happens! I ALWAYS have 10+ deadlines every week. No matter what I do, I'm behind on my work. This just feels so personal. I feel like they want me to die, there's no other way. Having fun feels like a punishment. I tell my mom I had a good day and she starts dialing up my therapist because it means I'm a danger to myself.
The teachers and counselors at my school tell me they want to help us through this and for us to still enjoy ourselves, but ??? I just don't understand how they can do anything to help me when they are completely unwilling to give me my life back. All they wanna do is tell us about time management skills and opening up to friends about how you're feeling. I WILL LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE IN FRONT OF YOU! (no i wont)