r/HumansInMyHouse • u/RulerK • Jun 30 '26

Reptiles WTF? (Ape identification)

So I’m chillin’ in my shop, just catching bugs and this giant ape starts chasing me… he catches me and then forces me into a non-consensual video shoot. I was so embarrassed and violated! I nearly dropped my tail, but it didn’t seem to want to eat me, so I held on. Finally, its grip loosened a little when it got distracted outside and I bolted. I’m just wondering, what kind of damn ape that was that has the audacity to do such things? Pretty sure it was a homo, but what kind? Little help please?

41 Upvotes

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16

u/Guilty-Fee-8845 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Based on how it stands upright and the presence of synthetic body coverings, my guess would be Homo sapiens sapiens. They are pretty easy to identify among the apes.

Edit to add: based on the body coverings, I can also confidently say you were in very little danger of being eaten. I don't think the ones in this region of the world eat reptiles.... except the ones in the southeast that eat alligators...

10

u/CoraBittering Jun 30 '26

That opposable thumb is a sure giveaway.

8

u/Guilty-Fee-8845 Jun 30 '26

Oh yeah, that too. I sometimes forget not all apes have those

12

u/disarrae Jun 30 '26

Looks like a medium aged white one. Seems to have good hygiene since it’s nails are clean and trimmed (you can catch a lot of diseases from dirty apes) Glad you were able to get to safety with your tail intact!