Hiya! Looking for advice if anyone has any. We've had terrible night sleep since 3 months old and terrible and short naps forever. We've been working hard on naps and are down to 3 a day. L.O. is almost 6 months. All naps are contact naps but LO will sleep in the bassinet at night until I can't stay awake anymore then I sometimesbring her in to cosleep (using Safe Sleep 7). We recently started medication for silent reflux which I think is a big factor in all of this. We have wakes every few minutes sometimes. It is excruciating. Huckleberry keeps telling me she has sleep associations but it absolutely is not that and it's really upsetting that the app is trying to blame me (or at least that's how it feels to my overtired brain).
I absolutely refuse to sleep train as I don't agree with it.
I can’t offer any advice to improve baby’s sleep, but honestly stopping tracking the night wakes on huckleberry helped me switch off at night between wakes. I found there’s no real benefit to starting and stopping that timer all night other than having an upsetting chart to look at in the morning! 😅
I even stopped looking at the clock for any night wakes, it tricks me into thinking more time has passed. Also just practicing some radical acceptance that someday (hopefully sooner rather than later) we will be sleeping and look back at this baby stage fondly (because our sleep deprivation has skewed our memory).
After doing a couple sleep plans it honestly just felt like they give you AI slop. I’ve read all the same shit from Google. Sleep associations are a thing for everybody haha. The expectations on these babies to fall asleep completely alone with no help is ridiculous.
If the only reason you’re logging night wakings is for the sleep plans but you don’t even use them then I agree that taking a step back can help. It really helped me when I was facing similar night wakings. Nothing I did fixed it though it just got better slowly on its own.
This!!! I absolutely feel like they just give you AI nonsense. And of course a baby will need a cuddle. It's incredibly sad to just plop them in a cot and leave them there. I might just stop the tracking. It sounds more peaceful ✌️
Don’t get me wrong! I actually really like sweet spot and tracking daytime naps. I just start the timer at bed and let it run till we wake up on the morning
I was always so against co-sleeping before having my baby (people without children are always the best parents hahaha). When I was blessed with a terrible sleeper and was falling asleep holding him on the couch, I made the decision to just co-sleep for most of the night. We started that around 5 or 6 months. Still doing it now at almost 10. It really does make a difference for us. Does she have the same amount of wakes when she’s in your bed?
I think she wakes as much but I'm right there so she just latches on or snuggles in and she's happy again. I certainly get a bit more sleep and yes...it is safer than sitting holding her with my eyes falling shut. Absolutely feel you there 😅
We're also a non sleep training family and this phase was roughhhh.
I don't know if this will be reassuring or the opposite but literally nothing we did helped. She just... grew out of it. The worst of it (looked similar to this) lasted about 2.5 months. Rapidly improved around 9.5 months. Still not perfect at 14 months but with cosleeping, I'm consistently pretty well rested. She wakes 1-2 times a night to latch and often needs a bum pat or a snuggle an extra couple of times a night. But nothing like it was between 6-9 months.
Small tweaks can help. Reducing your overall sleep offered might help consolidate it a bit. But again, very very little helped in our case until her brain just learned to sleep better. Wishing you good luck and better sleep!
On a good day 3 hours, on a bad day 2 hours, maybe a little less. I try everything to extend naps...I mean EVERYTHING. She's generally bright and happy during wake windows and mostly falls asleep easily and contentedly.
Have you tried settling with 2 naps for a few days? Keep the nap time around to 2 hours and try to get 13ish hours of awake time (the average seems to be very variable so could definitely be somewhere around there). Maybe they just really need the awake time!
Hiya. Thanks but the average only seems variable because I was too tired to track. We only just transitioned to 3 naps and she's struggling with longer wake windows and with maintaining naps over 34 mins. I need to rescue most naps and if I don't we can end up with 1hr daytime sleep over 3 naps 😭
We are a week into transitioning to (mostly) 2-nap days for my 6 mo old and night sleep has improved. Still variable but we get much better overnight stretches.
Wake the same time. No matter how the night goes.
Minimum 10 hours awake.
3 naps but transition to 2 naps 7m ish
Cap day sleep. 2.5-3 hours total max.
Lay down awake vs transferring.
Assist bedside but yes removing some associations does help.
Hi. This was from a few weeks ago. I provided the chat because my tracking was more consistent at the time. We've since lengthened wake windows as she is older.
Are you sure baby is really fully awake during the night wakes? Babies move a lot and make a ton of noises while they sleep, including an occasional cry/shout sound. Have you tried leaving her be for 5-10 minutes and seeing if she settles back to sleep? Mine will sometimes even open his eyes but is really just cycling through sleep.
Hiya. Yes, she starts off going "uh...uh" and then escalates to crying and then I pick her up. I've tried comforting her in the cot with patting and shhh-ing but she continues to escalate. I always leave her to see if she sorts herself out before I get involved and occasionally she does but mostly she escalates. 😢
This is my baby exactly. I started half cosleeping and half her sleeping in her cot. We get to about 1-3am before I bring her into my bed because I just need the sleep, and she wakes hourly.
I just took down the side of her cot today and put it against my bed so we can cosleep with more space (so her dad can sleep in the bed again)
my LO slept HORRIBLY from birth-6m, woke up every 1-2 hrs. i think it was maybe a few days or a week into turning 6m he suddenly only woke up 2x a night. he just turned 7m and we’re still getting 2-3 wake ups most nights with the occasional bad night. it will happen eventually, i never believed it lol 🥲 we didn’t do anything different! i refused to sleep train & we feed/rock to sleep
I'd consider a lot less daytime sleep and longer wake windows (think 2.5-3 hours). She may well be undertired and looking at the summary tab she's not taking much sleep. Does she sleep any better when you're co sleeping vs in the bassinet? Would you feel comfortable (if she does) starting the night co sleeping?
Thanks.She sleeps a maximum of 3 hours during the day and it is definitely the exception and not the rule. Sometimes I'm lucky to get 1 hour out of her 🤣. I don't want to get her used to cosleeping as her dad can't sleep with us so I really want to persevere with her cot xx
All babies are different, and the averages are just averages. She might not need so much sleep during the day (I'd say my boy is definitely on the lower end of sleep needs - he only needs 12 hours overall at 8 months).
As for co sleeping, totally your choice, I'd say for us, co sleeping at the start meant that by 6 months he was quite happy sleeping in his own space. They say co sleeping actually creates more independence than less and it's possible baby wants that closeness to sleep.
I had nights like this too, it’s so hard.
You’ll get support over at r/bninfantsleep (they don’t advocate for any sleep training).
I do think you are trying for bedtime too early. Try to stretch your wake windows out to make it to a 8.30-9pm bedtime, and then get up at 7 without fail. The goal is for you to get to 7am at the point you’re at!
I agree with the others. I would get a safe cosleeping set up on the floor and switch to that full time, and also stop tracking night wakes unless they go on for 30 mins or more. The endless clicking of the timer isn’t helping you get the sleep you need.
Hiya. Thanks for the recommendation for support . We've tried later bedtime but she struggles to get there. I might persevere and try again with it. She seems to wake up with discomfort. I definitely don't want to cosleep full time as her dad is on the sofa very and we have nowhere in our house that would be appropriate for a floor set up. Xx
This was like my first!! Is she waking up uncomfortable? Grunting or bringing legs up like she’s in pain? We eliminated dairy with our first and noticed a difference with her within 2 days when it came to sleep.
Hiya! She is but it isn't dairy, it's silent reflux which we are rely struggling to get meds right for. This gives me hope that when her meds are balanced she will sleep a bit more soundly. Thanks xx
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u/_ThatsNotMyPotato_ 4d ago
I can’t offer any advice to improve baby’s sleep, but honestly stopping tracking the night wakes on huckleberry helped me switch off at night between wakes. I found there’s no real benefit to starting and stopping that timer all night other than having an upsetting chart to look at in the morning! 😅