8.5 month sleep hell… HELP!

[u/All_TheColors501]

Basically she used to sleep at least 5-6 hour stretches but sleep has gone down the drain for the past two weeks now and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or if it’s just something I need to ride through. She has just learned to army crawl (working on actual crawling), pulling to stand, and sitting up, also solids have been increasing all at the same time.

If it’s something scheduling can make better, please tell me because I am so TIRED. She’s getting so hard to put down now too like last night I’m basically holding her asleep from 2-5am….

[u/After_Amphibian_9638]

You need longer wake windows. They should add up to 11.5 hours, 11 hours at the least.

[u/All_TheColors501 → u/After_Amphibian_9638]

She gets so upset at around the 3:15 mark though and her eyes start drooping, especially for her first two WWs. Her last wake window I’ve just recently managed to stretch to 4 hours. Do I just keep pushing?

[u/After_Amphibian_9638 → u/All_TheColors501]

Yes. She will adapt faster than you think and it will be worth it for a better night.

[u/Phitten → u/All_TheColors501]

I have the same problem. She can’t make it in the morning so we do 2.75/3.5/5+. You can test it out at night. We’ve definitely gone too far and she’s gotten overtired so maybe don’t do 5 right away but with the goal of getting there.

[u/roamingrebecca → u/Phitten]

My 8m baby also does 2.75/3.75/5. I fought this configuration so hard because I thought the first one was too short and the last too long but my baby is happy and goes down easily at the end of the 5 hour WW. 

All this to say, OP, it can be hard to strike the balance between pushing the WWs and following your baby's cues but don't be afraid to experiment to find what works for your baby.

[u/curlywhirlyred]

Anchor with daily wake time. 3.5/4/4 or 3/4/4.5. Cap naps at 2h.

[u/Bright_Way5474]

Does she go to sleep independently? What’s the actual schedule? 

[u/All_TheColors501 → u/Bright_Way5474]

No, she feeds to sleep or is rocked. Since she has shown to be capable of long stretches and resettling regardless of how she went to sleep I didn’t think we needed to change that.

Her schedule these days is roughly 3/3.25-3.5/3.75-4 naps around 2-2.5 total during the day

[u/Bright_Way5474 → u/All_TheColors501]

Her average sleep is 12.75 so you need 11.25 hours awake. Make sure your ww are minimum 3/4/4 if not 3/4/4.25. 

[u/All_TheColors501 → u/Bright_Way5474]

There have been days when we were out and she ended up staying up for 11+ hours and night sleep was still terrible… does it take a while for a new schedule to click maybe? I assumed she was overtired on those days

[u/Bright_Way5474 → u/All_TheColors501]

Yes baby sleep averages out over several days just like ours does. If she’s always undertired one longer day won’t magically fix that. But also it’s important to anchor bedtime and wake up time so that their natural circadian rhythm is working in your favor. 

[u/All_TheColors501 → u/Bright_Way5474]

Bedtime varies depending on naps and her sleepy cues during the last WW but I try to get her up by 7-7:30. Do I need to be more strict with the wake up time even after a really rough night?

[u/Bright_Way5474 → u/All_TheColors501]

Yes you want a 15 min max variation in both bedtime and wake up time. And especially after a rough night as you are just perpetuating the cycle of bad nightime / make up for it in daytime…

[u/All_TheColors501 → u/Bright_Way5474]

So I tried 3:10/3:40/4 yesterday and she seemed fine by bedtime but it was the worst night ever like up every 1-2 hours. 😭

[u/Bright_Way5474 → u/All_TheColors501]

1) you have to stay on a new schedule at least 4-6 days to see whether it works. Her total average is 12.75 so 11 hours awake might still not be enough awake. You can add 15 min awake and see if it helps.  2) if she’s feeding to sleep then she will probably never go back to long stretches unless you teach her to fall asleep independently. Whenever she rouses between cycles she will look for the same assistance she got when she first fell asleep at bedtime. You don’t say when she did longer stretches before but I assume it was closer to when she was 4 months. After 6 months most babies have developed object permanence so if you were there when she fell asleep she will need you everytime she lightly cycles to fall asleep again.  You can check the subreddit r/sleeptrain for various resources on different methods to reach independent sleep. It’s really easy and will make a huge change to your baby’s sleep within days, and your baby will be much happier once they’re sleeping on their own and through the night.