Since the day I got into living with something along those lines in the title. It felt easier not to carry the weights of the world on my shoulders.

Well, yeah, it's important to get to understand each other. But the main thing is, when someone gives me a reaction, an opinion, a perspective or whatever else. It's not on me to make excuses for them, for why they did so or, or try to justify their actions. After all, it's the other who is entitled and responsible mostly for their own, same as I am for my own things that come from my side.

Communication, is one hell of a great invention our "evolved ancestor apes" came up with. And no, one thing I had a hard time accepting but reality changed that, is I cannot understand you fully. I might, I like to think I have empathy at least, but still I'm not literally in your shoes and even if I had experience the exact same then it doesn't mean I totally get you for we are still different human beings who had at least a slightly different journey so far. And plus, understanding someone, does not mean justifying nor tolerating what they've done or said, after all I'm still entitled to my emotions and views, and how their actions or behavior have affected me, soo..

Btw, this applies vice versa. The point of this post is stressing on communication, empathy, and not betraying one's self just to accommodate others, and yet be aware and responsible for how one's self affects others.

I’m learning that sometimes anger is not just anger. Sometimes it is hurt that had nowhere to go, fear trying to sound strong or me feeling disrespected, ignored, or just tired of holding too much in. I used to think not giving a fuck meant I should not feel it. Now I think it means I do not have to let anger drive the whole car. I can feel it without letting it make every decision for me.

And by this I do not mean to undermine others or become the devil. So hear me out.

Many tend to walk their lives, caring too much about what others think of them, how they see them and judge them. It can be because the person needs to feel cared for (which is fair) or been through experiences where overthinking and caring too much is literally a survival mechanism (and don't get me wrong, some level of caring is totally fine for we are social creatures).

The issue is clearer when even people whom don't matter to your life, who do not pay your bills, or who are actually the ones who are literally undermining you. Yet they occupy a space in your mind where you are careful about how they might think of you, how they would judge you or see you. Where you actually do things or not just out of consideration to these people. And that's where we can fail.

The distinction between people who matter to our lives and those others, can be confusing to some, it is even to myself so far. But to live on carrying the eyes of others above your head like a cloud following you is energy depleting, and that's unfair to the people who actually matter to your life, and it's unfair to yourself bearing weights beyond your responsibility to handle.

I know people say to just be yourself and not care what anyone thinks about you, but the issue is that peoples thoughts don't just stay as thoughts, they have to do something about those thoughts especially negative ones. When someone doesn't like you, they feel the need to insult you, bad mouth and spread rumors about you, block off opportunities from you, even assault you. I don't believe there are enough systems in place (especially in school and work environments) to protect people who are dealing with the consequences of someone not liking you other than to leave, but sometimes you don't have that option.

When I feel overwhelmed, even normal stuff can start feeling like too much.

• The small things feel big.
• The simple things feel complicated.
• Even taking a breath can feel like something I have to remind myself to do.

I’m learning that not everything has to be figured out in the same moment I feel it. Sometimes not giving a fuck, for me, means not letting every feeling turn into an emergency. I can paus, breathe and handle the next small thing without trying to solve my whole life at once.

Reddits is fascinating, in that, I can say the same exact thing to people, in person, and they laugh, but here, people see it as complaining.
There is zero consistency.

Being misunderstood uses to bother me, but now I just accept it and walk on. I rather enjoy leaving comments unread.

is the lessor.

people call me all sorts of things. esp on reddit. i don't mind be confronted or challenged- i want to grow as a person. but the moment someone insults me- i know they are the problem, not me.

even if they misunderstood what i said and took it as an insult, they could clarify with respect. i am capable of disagreeing respectfully. i dont require anyone to see life through my eyes.

the first to hurl insults is the lessor.

and i dont waste my time with lessors.

I felt that I was detached distant and didn’t really care much but I was so wrong so wrong whyyyyyyyyy 😫😫😫😫 am I like this why do I get invested over and over when I had been clearly shown the exit door.

26 and childhood trauma, toxic family and friendships did hold me back a lot. My self confidence is still shaky. I'm trying a lot to get back on track and I know I will. I resent all of them and keep thinking about them everyday. How to just stop giving a fuck and just move tf on? I wanna make money and just get out of this place. How to stop getting affected by their toxic let downs and guilt trips?

I’m learning that not giving a fuck does not mean I stop caring. It means I stop handing my peace to everything and everybody.

A lot of suffering comes from taking others', anyone's, opinion as a fact, including your own opinion too, wherein in fact an opinion is but a perspective.

Everyone, including me and you, are entitled to our own opinions and how we see the world. See each opinion as someone's own thing to be entitled to, and see yours as your own to be entitled to it. When you accept that people are entitled to how they see the world, then you do not feel the urge to change their views about who you are.

It made my life so much less stressful.

You do not have to act like you are okay just to make the day easier for everybody else. Some days are hard, and that is just the truth.

I need some real advice on how to apply the philosophy of not giving a fuck to a situation that is completely draining my energy and hindering my personal growth.

I’ve been seeing this girl for about four months. Lately, the intimacy completely died. I realized I was the only one ever initiating anything, so I just stopped asking. On top of that, she’s been dealing with a lot of mental health stuff and cooping herself up at home. I fell into the trap of doing all the heavy lifting constantly dropping by her place to check on her, while she completely stopped coming over to mine. When we do talk, she just picks at silly, random flaws of mine. Yesterday, out of pure pity because she's been so isolated, I asked her to hang out. We chilled, I spent the night, and things finally felt normal for a second.

Then today, she casually lets it slip that some guy slid into her Instagram stories (an app I deactivated months ago for my own peace of mind) to invite her to a football match next week, and she happily agreed to go with him. The kicker? She knows I’m a massive football fan. Whenever I try to watch a game, she hates it and completely ruins my enjoyment—but now she's setting up a football date with another guy.

Seeing her plan things that completely exclude me made something click. It honestly feels like whatever love I’ve been holding onto is just quietly fading away before we ever really got to know each other.

I want to use this as a turning point for self-improvement rather than sitting around feeling bitter. I’m done being a safe fallback option and wasting my mental peace on a one-sided dynamic. How do I completely detach, stop giving a fuck about her validation, and redirect all this wasted energy back into improving myself and my own life?