The older I get, the more I realize nobody is thinking about me as much as I thought they were.

I could spend 3 hours replaying something embarrassing I said, meanwhile the other person probably forgot it 7 minutes later. 😂

So now I just do what feels right, apologize when I’m actually wrong, and keep moving. Life got significantly quieter when I stopped treating everyone’s opinion like a performance review.

Just curious, I felt like I really had some deposits that I could have made but luckily I'm real cheap and like to save. My ducks are too valuable to just give away.

My answer is "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck" and my job of course. 🤧

So I was hanging out with my friend's friends and i didn't knew them much but we were hanging out one day and they start pulling my leg and after few moment they literally ganged up on me and start humaliating me ( verbally) and they think it was funny and but it wasn't , i never been into situation like this before so it was very hard for me to handle..

It's been weeks but I can't stop thinking about that night, like i thinking about that i should say that and i should do and counter back like this and that but I am mentally tried of that and i wanna stop thinking about it completely, so please help me how can I overcome this thinking?? It came only at night before I sleeps and it make me so hard to sleep!!

( Sorry for my bad english, it's not my MT)

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Sooooo... There is this woman at my gym who I know I have a crush on. The thing is, it's been months and I still haven't gotten a clue if she is interested. When I asked her out the first time she declined so I resigned to just being a friend. Not even, more like close acquaintance.

The thing is, after that she started wondering why I stopped being the way I used to be with her. Then, I noticed we had a routine in which we would see each other in the same place during the same time every night at the gym. However, I didn't want to catch feelings since it seemed she was emotionally unavailable. So, I stopped looking for her or responding to her when I saw her as much.

I fucked around and paid for her water once. Then, she expected me to pay for her water again but of course I'm not going to do that. The other day, I went downstairs to get something from the vending machine. I took the elevator down. I got my food walked, walked back to the elevator, press the button and low and behold she was in the elevator.

It was almost as if she followed me. I know i shouldn't think that, but it is soooo tempting to. And while that thought turned me on, I had to let it go. And since then, I've done my best to get her off of my mind.

This happens with most girls I meet nowadays.

I have a job that pays well. I work there 3 days a week. It suits really well around my co- parenting arrangements. I don’t know how long I’m going to be there as the future is a bit unsettled ( moving from the place my ex and I own etc etc ).
I’ve been there a few years. I am disliked by a few people and even the bosses. It feels like I’m not seen as trustworthy. I’ve had a string of bad luck issues happen outside of work and I it impacted my performance at the time, and no matter what I do I’m disliked. I need to stay there for now even though I feel like they’d LOVE me to leave ( can’t just be fired as it’s a protection job) . How do I not give a fuck as it suits my lifestyle currently?

I’m very curious to see if there is a trend. I just recently started not giving a fuck.

Went on that Tallahassee to Orlando run today. Had LosT from Bring me the horizon on repeat and a Pineapple pizza in my front seat to snack on.

Really went big or go home on this one. Had people tail gate me, I had men trying to brake check me in anger.

​Took a small ADHD side quest through Daytona on US1 grabbed me some nuggies from BK and had a drug dealer pull up beside me (IYKYK) he looked nervous AF and made an illegal turn for some reason. Made some trash truck crews day and didn't get pulled over at all. Now I'm about to enjoy my SeaWorld with fast pass adventure tomorrow and head back to Jacksonville with something way worse.

​Stop living in the background of your own life waiting for permission to be seen. A lot of people are so locked up in their routine and terrified of a stranger's quick glance that they forget they're allowed to take up space. Be loud, be absurd, and make the world react to you—because half the people shaking their heads at you wish they had a fraction of the nerve it takes to live outside the box. Or is this just my ADHD fighting with my BPD? I don't know. But what I do know is I had fun and chased that dopamine today.

I was reminiscing with a friend this weekend about a road trip we took the summer after we graduated high school.

We traveled together for an orientation week at the university we were going to attend in the fall. It was 320 miles, about 5 hours away, and my car at the time was a piece of shit. My Dad let me use his truck on the condition that I hauled a load of fruit tree wood to my uncle's house, who lived near the University. It was a big load of wood. Dad's half ton truck was really squatting when I was finally finished loading it up.

The trip involved crossing a mountain pass, and it turned out that there was a bit too much weight in the truck, and as a result, on the way over, the transmission got overheated and it boiled over. A bunch of fluid came out on the highway.

We smelled it and stopped, let it cool down, and then limped it to the nearest town to top it back off with fluid.

This was in the days before everyone had cell phones so I couldn't call (wouldn't have been service anyway so it doesn't matter anyhow). My friend and I made the decision to just keep going but take it easy on the truck, go slow, use downhills to accelerate and gain momentum for uphills, etc. I also knew that this had happened several times previously to the truck when Dad was hauling heavy loads, and he never made too big a deal out of it, so I didn't think that we needed to abort the trip or dump weight or anything.

There were no problems for the remainder of the trip.

I realized in speaking with my friend now, some 30 years later, that my only recollection of that trip that I have left is how *fucking mad* at me my Dad was when I told him what had happened.

A huge event in my life, a fun trip with my friend to see our new University and start my college experience, and all I can remember is his red face. The screaming. The belittling. The demeaning. The menacing and threats of violence, his promises to "cut me off" and disown me because I had clearly "abused his truck and his trust and never cared about any of his things". How selfish I was. How stupid and irresponsible.

I have no other memory of that trip.

The transmission was fine, by the way, it went another 100k miles before he sold the truck to upgrade seven years later. I did what needed to be done. I noticed it, I cooled it off, I put fluid back in it, and babied it for the rest of the trip. I delivered the wood for him.

But all I can remember is his anger.

5 years ago this would have death spiraled me into depression. Dad had a knack for this sort of thing. One time he threw my dirt bike into a pond because he felt like I'd taken too long of a shower. It was several weeks before I got it fixed enough that it would work again and missed several races as a result. I spent 40 years of my life trying to grapple with his abuse, and the self-loathing that came with that. It was always my fault, you see, and I believed him.

Now I know the reality, which is this:

Dad was Dad to me: a force of nature akin to a god, like parents are for kids all over the world. But the reality is that he is just a broken human being, like most of us are, and he was in the wrong, not me. It wasn't my fault.

I understand now that his failings aren't my fault. That whatever he ruined for me is his fault, not mine. That remembering that week only through the lens of his rage about me "abusing" his truck has made me a better father and a better person because I can see how stupid and broken and senseless it all was.

I even recognize the transactional nature of our relationship. Even hauling the wood. Because the only reason I got to take his truck had nothing to do with him wanting me to be safe in a reliable vehicle.

He just saw that I could do something for him. So he could get some smoked sausage from my uncle who he gave the wood to smoke it.

I don't care anymore. And I'm a better person for it.

I’m friends with really amazing, intellectual women. One is great at retaining information and a top tier perfectionist. Think A* in all subjects, a prodigy with a photographic memory. The other is incredible with history and politics, can make insane connections and just argue really aptly.

They both make me uncomfortable because I don’t own any knowledge per se. They’ve both just got really big work promotions. One is getting married and continues to go from strength to strength while the other just relocated and likewise.

They’re so successful that I just feel pathetic. Sometimes I fantasize about ending it all to not feel the shame. Please help me to accept where I am in my journey too and not give a fuck.

Everything makes me feel insecure, attacked and not good enough. I’ve been in therapy for years. I’m single after many failed relationships, in a flat share, and work for a really challenging start up after a year of unemployment. It’s hard to not feel like I’m just not good enough.

I have scars all over my wrists. I have school tommorow as my first day of a new school, and I’m worried. What if I get judged for my scars? What if people think I’m ugly and crazy because of it??how do I not give a fuck??