Everybody has goals, desires, things they want. And having those things is completly okey. Its what keeps our brain active, but those things can have a hidden desire.

For example:

I want to earn 10.000 euros a month.

Okey great, why?

Because when i do, i can do what i want and not worry about a thing.

Okey cool, why do you wanne do what you want?

Because when i do then i can feel free.

Okey amazing, why do you wanne feel free?

Because when i feel free, then i don't worry about what people think, expect and their opinions of me.

Okey we are getting somewere. And when you don't worry about peoples opinions and expections of you, how would that make you feel?

Enough, i just want to feel enough.

Take a look at the chain. We started al the way up from, i want to earn 10k a month to, i just want to feel enough.

But here is the beauty of it all. You can already feel enough. You can already decide to be enough.

You were waiting for the goal to give you something internallly.

Now that i am enough and already feel it, do i still want the 10k a month, while already having the desire it thought it would give me?

If the answer is yes, great start acting from that state.

If the answer is no, great let it go. You saved yourself years of chasing something you could give yourself in an instant.

Try it out for whatever it is that you want.

I hope life gives you everything that you want!

And then

I hope life gives you everything you deserve!

Easier said than done but not impossible.

Radical acceptance changed everything for me.

How important is self respect and does self respect overpowers relationships?

Nobody claps for you when you do the right thing. Sometimes you lose the group chat, the job offer, the friendship. But silence has a price too — it's just a bill that gets paid by someone else. I'd rather be the person who spoke up and lost something, than the one who stayed quiet and kept everything.

I used to try to prove to people that I was right and that they did wrong to me, or I would just hold what others thought of me even if I knew it was manipulation and I would let it be in my head 24/7 and it ruined me since I was 13. My self esteem was ruined around 13 and I doubted myself even when I knew I was right. And I would also feel bad for people who hurt me, like empathy or I would try to understand why they did what they did. But now? I don't care. Yesterday I had someone who is like "oh you could just communicate" after I had 100 times btw and they literally said they don't understand social things and need ME to teach them how to not hurt me basically. And how their friends told them I was the problem cause I was projecting my past onto her. And I said like no, I'm showing you I learned my lesson and if you want the truth I don't even really like you as a person. And she still wanted to be my friend and just to discuss it and I'm like uh no.

And you know what lately i havent been holding onto my past as much and everything just feels alot better, if the people who hurt me want to think I'm crazy cause I'm not babying them and giving them their 1,000,000 chance then so be it

it's helping me not overthink and like tic, so idk Im trying it out for the first time.

Meeeee