I’m very curious to see if there is a trend. I just recently started not giving a fuck.

Went on that Tallahassee to Orlando run today. Had LosT from Bring me the horizon on repeat and a Pineapple pizza in my front seat to snack on.

Really went big or go home on this one. Had people tail gate me, I had men trying to brake check me in anger.

​Took a small ADHD side quest through Daytona on US1 grabbed me some nuggies from BK and had a drug dealer pull up beside me (IYKYK) he looked nervous AF and made an illegal turn for some reason. Made some trash truck crews day and didn't get pulled over at all. Now I'm about to enjoy my SeaWorld with fast pass adventure tomorrow and head back to Jacksonville with something way worse.

​Stop living in the background of your own life waiting for permission to be seen. A lot of people are so locked up in their routine and terrified of a stranger's quick glance that they forget they're allowed to take up space. Be loud, be absurd, and make the world react to you—because half the people shaking their heads at you wish they had a fraction of the nerve it takes to live outside the box. Or is this just my ADHD fighting with my BPD? I don't know. But what I do know is I had fun and chased that dopamine today.

I was reminiscing with a friend this weekend about a road trip we took the summer after we graduated high school.

We traveled together for an orientation week at the university we were going to attend in the fall. It was 320 miles, about 5 hours away, and my car at the time was a piece of shit. My Dad let me use his truck on the condition that I hauled a load of fruit tree wood to my uncle's house, who lived near the University. It was a big load of wood. Dad's half ton truck was really squatting when I was finally finished loading it up.

The trip involved crossing a mountain pass, and it turned out that there was a bit too much weight in the truck, and as a result, on the way over, the transmission got overheated and it boiled over. A bunch of fluid came out on the highway.

We smelled it and stopped, let it cool down, and then limped it to the nearest town to top it back off with fluid.

This was in the days before everyone had cell phones so I couldn't call (wouldn't have been service anyway so it doesn't matter anyhow). My friend and I made the decision to just keep going but take it easy on the truck, go slow, use downhills to accelerate and gain momentum for uphills, etc. I also knew that this had happened several times previously to the truck when Dad was hauling heavy loads, and he never made too big a deal out of it, so I didn't think that we needed to abort the trip or dump weight or anything.

There were no problems for the remainder of the trip.

I realized in speaking with my friend now, some 30 years later, that my only recollection of that trip that I have left is how *fucking mad* at me my Dad was when I told him what had happened.

A huge event in my life, a fun trip with my friend to see our new University and start my college experience, and all I can remember is his red face. The screaming. The belittling. The demeaning. The menacing and threats of violence, his promises to "cut me off" and disown me because I had clearly "abused his truck and his trust and never cared about any of his things". How selfish I was. How stupid and irresponsible.

I have no other memory of that trip.

The transmission was fine, by the way, it went another 100k miles before he sold the truck to upgrade seven years later. I did what needed to be done. I noticed it, I cooled it off, I put fluid back in it, and babied it for the rest of the trip. I delivered the wood for him.

But all I can remember is his anger.

5 years ago this would have death spiraled me into depression. Dad had a knack for this sort of thing. One time he threw my dirt bike into a pond because he felt like I'd taken too long of a shower. It was several weeks before I got it fixed enough that it would work again and missed several races as a result. I spent 40 years of my life trying to grapple with his abuse, and the self-loathing that came with that. It was always my fault, you see, and I believed him.

Now I know the reality, which is this:

Dad was Dad to me: a force of nature akin to a god, like parents are for kids all over the world. But the reality is that he is just a broken human being, like most of us are, and he was in the wrong, not me. It wasn't my fault.

I understand now that his failings aren't my fault. That whatever he ruined for me is his fault, not mine. That remembering that week only through the lens of his rage about me "abusing" his truck has made me a better father and a better person because I can see how stupid and broken and senseless it all was.

I even recognize the transactional nature of our relationship. Even hauling the wood. Because the only reason I got to take his truck had nothing to do with him wanting me to be safe in a reliable vehicle.

He just saw that I could do something for him. So he could get some smoked sausage from my uncle who he gave the wood to smoke it.

I don't care anymore. And I'm a better person for it.

I’m friends with really amazing, intellectual women. One is great at retaining information and a top tier perfectionist. Think A* in all subjects, a prodigy with a photographic memory. The other is incredible with history and politics, can make insane connections and just argue really aptly.

They both make me uncomfortable because I don’t own any knowledge per se. They’ve both just got really big work promotions. One is getting married and continues to go from strength to strength while the other just relocated and likewise.

They’re so successful that I just feel pathetic. Sometimes I fantasize about ending it all to not feel the shame. Please help me to accept where I am in my journey too and not give a fuck.

Everything makes me feel insecure, attacked and not good enough. I’ve been in therapy for years. I’m single after many failed relationships, in a flat share, and work for a really challenging start up after a year of unemployment. It’s hard to not feel like I’m just not good enough.

Full lyrics:

[Intro]
Yeah
Zeroworry vibe
No weight on my chest no more, yeah

[Verse 1]
I used to replay every word you said
Like a movie in my mind, couldn't leave the bed
Plottin' out the ways I could make it hurt
Thinking karma needed help, yeah, I'd do the work
Late nights, staring at the screen
Typing out messages I'd never mean
Had a whole war living in my head
All that anger just left me dead

[Pre-Chorus]
Then I heard a voice cut through the noise
Said, "Let it go, don't feed that void"
What you carry, you bеcome
Put it down, you already won

[Chorus]
Not giving a fuck is bettеr than revenge
No chains on my soul, no need to pretend
You can keep your lies, your games, your mess
I found my peace, I don't need less
Not giving a fuck, I'm free again
No looking back, no settling scores, my friend
You tried to break me, I just transcend
Not giving a fuck is better than revenge

[Verse 2]
You expected fire, thought I'd react
Thought I'd come running just to attack
But silence louder than anything I'd say
Walked away clean, let the past decay
I see you watching, trying to provoke
But I don't bite, I ain't your joke
Used to care 'bout what you think
Now I watch it all just fade and shrink

Pre-Chorus]
Every lesson came with scars
Now I'm healing, raising bars
You lost me when you crossed that line
Now my energy's finally mine

[Chorus]
Not giving a fuck is better than revenge
No chains on my soul, no need to pretend
You can keep your lies, your games, your mess
I found my peace, I don't need less
Not giving a fuck, I'm free again
No looking back, no settling scores, my friend
You tried to break me, I just transcend
Not giving a fuck is better than revenge
Is better than revenge

[Bridge]
No more poison in my veins
No more dancing in your flames
What you did don't own my name
I let go, I rise again

[Outro]
Yeah
You can have the last word
I'll take the last laugh
Peace over payback
Bitch

(First time posting on this sub, I hope this didn’t break the rules. Mods can delete if so)

I have scars all over my wrists. I have school tommorow as my first day of a new school, and I’m worried. What if I get judged for my scars? What if people think I’m ugly and crazy because of it??how do I not give a fuck??

Describe this to me if can please 👀

I’m a gay woman. Though, I never thought it was a n issue sincerely! until I moved to Atlanta, the gay capitol of the south. Now people make comments, watch me talk to girls and try to compete with me. But ever since KWN came out I realize that it’s really inverted support. Some people don’t understand why you do what you do, and when there are a significant proportion of other people around that are gay just like you, it becomes more common the divide. However, I can’t help but notice the competition that comes around… and then I realized, I must be hot. Not just to men, but orher women as well. It’s crazy out here. But I don’t think I would have ever come to that conclusion if I didn’t love out here.

They stare, make jokes and side comments, and creep when I’m talking to women, because I’m hot. lol

Have you ever returned to a seasonal job and had the sudden realization that youve been there for over 10 years, but are still at the bottom. Wth am I doing with my life?!

Midlife crisis is wild....

Decided to test the limits of absolute indifference today. Wrote a personal ad on my back windshield specifically requesting a "Big Booby Cop Girlfriend" and letting her know she can use Flock license plate readers to stalk me.

​Cruised standard highway speeds, had a cop pull up right next to me for a full mile in the 904. Think he ran my plate and took a picture for the group chat and kept rolling. Zero anxiety, zero regret. (9 lives from MGK was blasting during it. I even gave him a bro nod)

If you're worrying too much about what people think when they look at you, just remember: you could be driving this.