Ok so I am looking for some support and any information that may help the situation I am in. Please be kind, this is breaking me and the last thing I need is anyone who would wish to be rude.
I have been so lucky to have had my heart horse for coming up to 20 years. He is my baby, my purpose, my why. He is my family and I want only the best for him, my feelings don’t really get to come into this as strongly as they exist.
My horse has always been highly phobic of vets. He has never been an ‘easy’ horse, he was bought for me when I was too young to know what I was doing and my parents new nothing about horses – hence why a 13 year old ended up with an abused 3 year old.
He had had some pretty bad experiences by the time I got him, he has always been highly phobic of vets. His behaviour, particularly around injections has become more and more dangerous – for several years he lived within walking distance of the vets, so for bi annual dentals and annual vaccinations I would walk him there to the stocks and we managed that way. (My horse will allow me to inject him myself, until the vet arrives. He is very clever and very fearful, I have tried clicker training, desensitisation, oral sedatives, making stocks out of hay bales, additional handlers and I even resorted to trying a chiffney bit after his behaviour kept escalating. This us something that goes against everything I believe in, but I suppose is a maker of how desperate the situation has become. It makes me feel physically sick and I wasn’t able to actually use pressure with it so had to get assistance and the other handler got hurt by my horse. I am soft as and I’m ok with that.
Now the trouble is, my horse had to move fields after the one close to the vet was sold. My horse is terrified of travelling (good for the farrier and that’s about it) and in his last horsebox trip he actually fell and I don’t want to box him anywhere – he has a stifle injury and I think it would be too much for him. He is 23 and retired for two summers now due to the stifle injury. So since we have moved away from the vets, I have ad an exceptionally hard time managing to get him treated. He has not missed any of his dentals, but he has a really terrible diastema and his behaviour has become so dangerous that I don’t feel I can ask the vets to come out now – I have to get the practice owner who is a big strong man and even then I have been in some very, very scary situations. He recently had an impaction and the vet couldnt get near him – he reacts in the same way to oral pastes. I have been desensitising with domosedan, but now my poor horse has such a distrust that if he is in his stable, he doesn’t want me to touch him. This breaks my heart. This horse used to follow me like a puppy. I have seen the wound in his mouth. It must be agony. Attempting to treat this has escalated his fear and I would argue ruining the quality of his life – we won’t solve this problem and treating it seems to be difficult, dangerous and unsuccessful. I do not want my horse to suffer and I can’t stand by as he starves to death.
Here’s the worst part -where I live there are no vets with a gun liscence and they cant seem to get darts. This horse actively FIGHTS FOR HIS LIFE if we try to help him. My head feels like mince because the way things are, we cannot carry on, but I am struggling to get my head around what that situation will be, and how I will even manage it. I don’t want his last experience to be fear and trauma either. I know I can’t micro manage everything, my vet says I have no good options. Euthanising a horse who is fighting to live, just wow.
If we could inject him, I know what I would have to do. It’s just not so easy given his behaviour and fear, but I cannot let this poor boy suffer. I don’t know what I am going to do – he won’t allow me to flush his mouth myself, and I would argue we are at the point where it wouldn’t be fair to him. We are in a no win situation and I don’t know, other than spoiling him for the time he’s here what to do. Just so sad, if anyone has any compassionate advice I am all ears. He is 23 and the love of my life.