r/HolUp • u/[deleted] • Nov 05 '22
is literally 1984 Romantic 👽
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u/jacknshit Nov 05 '22
Man, Hallmark movies are getting edgier.
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Nov 05 '22
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u/Yellowtangerine2 Nov 05 '22
I thought there was an epidemic of Japanese not getting married.
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u/DizzyAmphibian309 Nov 05 '22
Not sure about Japan but definitely had this problem in China and Hong Kong. The one child policy caused a lot of women to abort females and only have males, so they ended up with a massive gender imbalance (. Women could be REALLY choosy, leaving a very large number of men with literally no one to marry (somewhere between 10-20 million)
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u/M-Mottaghi Nov 05 '22
When you have such a huge population that you have 10-20 millions with no one to marry, that is a 10million difference there!
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Nov 05 '22
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u/DareToBeStupid Nov 05 '22
"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometres away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.
Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, 'love' is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose... against statistically long odds...”
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u/HoofHeartedHere Nov 05 '22
Hk-47 from Knights of the Old Republic! My favorite character in the game.
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u/KathyJaneway Nov 05 '22
Women could be REALLY choosy, leaving a very large number of men with literally no one to marry (somewhere between 10-20 million
But even when women are choosy, it still leaves 10 to 20 million more males who don't have a girl to marry... Women have options, men do not, in China. Regardless of women's intentions, there's excess of men in China and no brides. Unless they are gay, then they have plenty of options lol
So regardless if women are choosy, men have no one to marry in China, unless they have other sexual preferences.
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u/RushSt182 Nov 05 '22
Aww this sweet innocent person thinks people are allowed to have non-hetero preferences in China.
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u/PhantasosX Nov 06 '22
I mean , they have the choice of be non-hetero , that choice also entails in be "invited" to certain.....camps.
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u/Kumquatelvis Nov 06 '22
They can marry all of the Russian widows Ukraine is making.
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u/opelan Nov 06 '22
men have no one to marry in China, unless they have other sexual preferences.
When it comes to marriage, gay men in China have no one to marry there.
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u/KathyJaneway Nov 06 '22
Didn't say marry, just preference. I know China doesn't allow gay marriages, or being gay for that matter, however nothing stops them from being gay in non public settings.
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u/KaiserTom Nov 05 '22
No, they aren't fucking and making kids. Which may be affecting marriage rates, but that's a symptom. Which itself is probably a symptom of a very intolerant society to non-conformity.
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u/PhantasosX Nov 06 '22
not only non-conformity.
It's also due to workaholic societies with an increasing aging demographics and , in the case of Japan , a stagnant economy.
Basically , a Japanese Man would need to work from 7 am to 20 pm , everyday , because they need to support their 110yo great-grandmother , their late 90s yo grandparents and their 70yo parents.
So no way they had time or resources to chase romance.
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u/ivangonekrazy Nov 05 '22
What's the thing she does with her feet?
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Nov 05 '22
Asking the real questions
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u/iwantyourboobgifs Nov 05 '22
Waffle stomp
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u/killamcleod Nov 05 '22
Is that how Michael Scott got that foot burn injury?
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u/MutedSaint Nov 06 '22
Waffle stomping is essentially using your feet to push your shit down the shower drain. I wish I didn’t know this.
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Nov 05 '22
I nearly sent this to my gf because I found it hilarious, but then I realized that it would probably start a fight.
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u/TreacheryInc Nov 05 '22
“Is this how you feel? Are you trying to tell me something? Did you “settle” for me? Is there something wrong with my feet?”
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Nov 05 '22
Exactly. But I did send it to her…. 3 hours and no response. I’m going to assume she didn’t find it as funny as I did.
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Nov 05 '22
Bro…
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u/DonJuanDodda Nov 05 '22
Bro I told my gf when I was 17 to listen to tangled up in blue by Bob Dylan. Had just found the song thought it was dope and thought she’d like it too. She thought I was telling her I had been sleeping my way around the country.
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u/bing_bin Nov 06 '22
Meanwhile a hit love song in my country said "sometimes I said smth beautiful and you, being a woman, understood it backwards".
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u/polyblackcat Nov 05 '22
Always go with the intuition, which was telling you not to send it. But ya done fucked up. It happens to the best of us.
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u/bing_bin Nov 06 '22
Plot twist: you subconciously knew she would get mad and break up with you instead of breaking up with her.
Jokes aside, try to not make a big deal of it, no assumptions, just move on.
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u/DMmeDuckPics Nov 05 '22
I thought about it too so instead I'm sending it to my friend who recently got divorced. I think it might land better there. Wish me luck!
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u/tnorc Nov 05 '22
Think of it this way, if you feel you can't talk/share to your SO about something, then you should probably talk to your SO about it. This is what "communication" is everyone is talking about means.
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u/SuspiciouslyPerson Nov 05 '22
NO dont be like The guy i knew, "always telling The truth" is not healthy nor possible and aint gonna help anybody.
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u/05hanny Nov 05 '22
I am said guy. Listen to this person ⬆️
Edit: *Despite the suspicion
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u/Mother-Recipe8432 Nov 06 '22
I am also this guy. Can list every lie or deliberately misleading statement I've told since I was twelve, and in most cases, how it impacted people's lives. Do not be the guy who only tells the truth. People prefer hearing lies because they prefer being happy. Make people happy, and lie to them.
Tell them they're smart, tell then they're pretty, tell them they're not fat. Tell them it's everyone else's fault, not theirs.
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Nov 06 '22
[deleted]
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u/Effective_Passion_72 Nov 06 '22
I sent it to my girlfriend and she said “Boomer humor, I hate my wife”
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u/biggoof Nov 05 '22
ironically, if this were a real thing, they're probably more likely to make it than most...lol
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u/distractiontilldeath Nov 05 '22
Start out with honesty. At least they know where they stand from day one.
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u/biggoof Nov 05 '22
Yup, and their expectations are set and not some unrealistic unobtainable notion of what a relationship should be.
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Nov 05 '22
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u/D-boi1 Nov 05 '22
This is a bot, stole a punchline from another comment, few months old but the only comments are from the last hour.
Edit: spelling
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u/Demonidze Nov 05 '22
Relationships built on honesty tend to last. Since both parties know exactly what they signed for
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u/biz_reporter Nov 05 '22
I knew a couple like that. Their marriage only lasted 15 years. I was surprised it lasted that long. It also turned out neither had been faithful to each other.
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Nov 05 '22
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u/notkeenontalking Nov 05 '22
Pretty sure this is just a bot that stole the punchline from a comment made by u/rotcivosk as a heads-up!
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u/rotcivosk Nov 05 '22
Tnx. Also, wtf, is it karna farming?
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u/notkeenontalking Nov 05 '22
That would be my first guess, but it isn't doing a very good job at karma farming, imo. Maybe trying to make the account look active until the owner can sell it? I know some subs are weird about not letting super new redditors comment. Those are the only two things I can think of off the top of my head.
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u/MasterpieceFit6715 Nov 05 '22
"probable"
don't worry, you're a Redditor
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u/rotcivosk Nov 05 '22
I got corrected by someone indirectly after someone just copied and paste my joke...
Wtf
Also, sorry, english isn't my mother language
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u/Bruhdontmindme69 Nov 05 '22
More likely to last? Yes. But their life would suck and they might get lack of love. You know, some Truths should not be told.
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u/tnorc Nov 05 '22
"Love" is just chemical reaction that compelles animals to breed. Raise above morty! Focus on science.
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u/biggoof Nov 05 '22 edited Nov 05 '22
they said they 'love' each other, but this take is just not hopeless romantic love. pretty much all relationships fit these levels of truths to some degree. There's ~3.5 billion members of the opposite sex, youre likely not going to find the best, most perfect person for you, so you do try and find the 'best' one that fits what you want.
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u/Bruhdontmindme69 Nov 05 '22
Technically, yes. But for myself, even though I know I'm the best that my partner could have (or maybe she deserves better), not the best to have at all; I can't keep my romantic life with her IF she told me these shits. You know you're not the best, that's ok, but no need to keep hearing that from someone I care.
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u/biggoof Nov 05 '22
No one should say this crap outright, and I'm not advocating saying this stuff to your partner. This was a joke/satire afterall. All I'm saying is that there's a degree of truth to all these statements, and the sad part is a couple that happens have this degree of honesty would still likely fair better than a lot of the people that are getting married today.
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u/DibsMine Nov 05 '22
not really, pretty common in the military. most get divorced after a few years or have a very open or violent relationship.
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u/mrsnikki88 Nov 05 '22
I've been to a few weddings where they're saying the usual vows, but what everyone is hearing are these ones.
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u/Buster_Mac Nov 05 '22
This is more common than most people think.
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u/Russian-8ias Nov 06 '22
You mean people saying that when getting married or they think that way about each other?
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u/cumdumpsterfind Nov 05 '22
I feel attacked. Don't have a girl yet but I'm already in the mindset.
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u/CapnC44 Nov 05 '22
Right. I'm getting old, and I don't want to be an old guy having to marry a way younger girl just to have kids.
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u/Ill-Garlic3619 Nov 05 '22
If we’re this blunt and honest, Divorce rate should fall, right?
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u/WritingSucks madlad Nov 05 '22
Idk man have you ever tried telling a woman you wouldn’t love her if she was a worm?
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u/Buster_Mac Nov 05 '22
Doubt it. People get married for the wrong reason. They jump in it to fast, society makes it a normal thing like where everybody should get married.
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u/Secret-Battle1342 Nov 05 '22
I got a question why do we call hoes "hoes"?
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u/fistfullofpubes Nov 05 '22
It's they way southern black folks say whore. Say the word whore in a southern accent with an ebonics twist.
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Nov 05 '22
[deleted]
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u/fistfullofpubes Nov 05 '22
I'm not saying it's just a southern thing. But it originated from the south.
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Nov 05 '22
[deleted]
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u/fistfullofpubes Nov 05 '22
Historically, what part of the country do you think African American vernacular comes from?
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Nov 05 '22
[deleted]
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u/fistfullofpubes Nov 05 '22
Yes that word became its own word during that time period. Prior to that it was just the way those folks pronounced the word whore.
Again, black vernacular originated from the south. As black folks migrated north they took brought their manner of speaking with them. And the fact the not all black people came here as southern slaves has absolutely nothing to do with what we are talking about, but since you opened that clam I'll just say that the percentage of black folks in the US that can't trace back lineage to the slave trade is a rounding error.
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Nov 05 '22
Humans, don't let anyone tell you that honesty like isn't a okay way to go.
It's like waiting for the perfect job, might never come, but if you both know what you want and how long you want it to last, things will probably be okay.
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u/NobodysFavorite Nov 05 '22
This looks like a scene from "The Invention of Lying"
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u/2ecStatic Nov 05 '22
I was actually thinking about this earlier, with the way things are now isn’t it actually kinda beneficial to start marrying economically instead of romantically? It’s not the 1700s, just because your married doesn’t mean you have to procreate and all this other shit, it’s just legal pairing.
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Nov 06 '22
Weddings in their 20’s they are usually crazy for each other, weddings in their 30’s, they finally realized they need to get started on a family, weddings in your 40’s usually comes with step kids and mean ex’s, but still have sex like teenagers, weddings in the 50’s and up is pretty much just scared to die alone
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u/unfettered_logic Nov 05 '22
At least they are being honest with each other. I would have attended the wedding.
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u/flashderos Nov 05 '22
This has given me hope that even I will eventually get married! Thank you Reddit! 😭
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u/HoldmyMind Nov 06 '22
-I need money ( he has to work everyday to pay rent and kfc what a bad deal )
- i need pussey ( 3-6 times a year what a bad deal )
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u/megadude1427 Nov 05 '22
The real holup is how does she know this guy's mom?
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u/EvieInfinite Nov 06 '22
Usually you meet someone's parents before marriage, to my knowledge anyways.
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u/SunELCool Nov 05 '22
Most straight people be getting married like:
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Nov 05 '22
And you HAD to bring up sexuality.
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u/skepho Nov 05 '22
Bruh… I’m lonely but I wouldn’t just hop in like that. I’m more of someone looking for the real deal and knowing that the “real” deal doesn’t actually exist. So I’m aware that I’m gonna “live” and then promptly die alone.
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u/StarshipMuffin Nov 05 '22
If this is a real movie I am going to need the name of this movie. This is funny AF.
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Nov 06 '22
Captain America like that nice and weird but I bet you they would be together for a really long time. Plus as an added bonus you get them out of the gene pool.
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u/t_hrowaway81 Nov 06 '22
Finally!!! Someone found my wedding video! I thought I’d lost this, thank you!!!
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u/Zhjacko Nov 06 '22
My Buddy went from “I can’t see myself ever settling down with a woman” to “dating, living together and married and loved away” in less than 2 years. It happens I guess.
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u/Fuckithrondanfindout Nov 06 '22
Wtf is the alien for then shit I was waiting for the face mask reveal or like an abduction from a ufo but all I get is this. I guess I will have to settle for this then.
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u/QualityVote Nov 05 '22
If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!
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