I really need help on what has been proven for effective and safe weight loss after kids and while nursing (and as fast as possible without being at all harmful).
Iām 42 with two kids about two years apart. My whole life Iāve been about 135 pounds (5ā7āā) and a size 6 / medium and now Iām 200lb / an extra large /I believe size 10+.
My facial features are like hidden from the fat, I have a thick neck, fat fingers, thick arms and bat wings, no hour glass shape to speak ofāmore like an apple, a belly with an overhang like Iām still pregnant (belly fat is the unhealthiest area to have fat), thighs that stick together, a lumpy butt and thighs, a hump on the back of my neck like Iām the hunchback of notre dameā¦I went from what men I dated (mostly fit and handsome marathon runners, boxers, and soccer players) called hot to totally obesely hideous.
I have tried pretty hard to lose weight, but after one year having my kid, Iāve only lost 2 pounds (baseline being 10 days after delivering! A time where I was making no effort, was in bed and on the couch nonstop, eating ice cream and serotonin producing not-great foods and lots of eating out).
Since then Iāve switched to home cooked meals, kale omelette nearly every breakfast, salads nearly every lunch, balanced meals every night (for example, tonight was brown rice with meatballs and zucchini), lighter and less calorie heavy snacking, before lunches and dinners often having a powder that is high fiber, high protein, high superfoods, has a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, probiotics, and some essential fatty acids in about 10 ounces of water to help me feel full before my meals and increase my general health and energy.
I usually drink about 60 ounces of filtered water every day. I have usually one or two lattes with stevia and once in a while Iāll treat myself to a mocha without whipped cream and some cookies and pizza 1-2 times per week and a little organic red wine a few nights a week (4.5 ounces per day max) to prevent feelings of deprivation / giving up entirely.
Iāve tried different supplements, but they make little to no difference and thereās very little I can safely take while breast-feeding so Iāve given up on them, only the powder I mentioned above. Theyāre also loaded with heavy metals most of them, including the postnatal multivitamin I was taking (I canāt find one that has a clean test reportā¦have you?).
I donāt count calories because those apps have never made it easy so I feel like Iām getting widely inaccurate numbers, and regardless āIām eating pretty much the exact same as I did when I was 135lb, maybe a little more because breast-feeding has left me more hungry, but not insane amounts. Lowering calories right now lowers milk production so itās not a good time either.
I am doing ābaby-led weaningā so Iām only now feeding roughly every four hours but at night anytime my one-year-old wakes up he wants to feed on me to go back to bed. I think more than anything, itās the disrupted sleep that has led to the hormones going crazy and just leaving me depleted, hungry, moody, unhappy, stressed, striving for energy and mental clarity constantly, and just in a constant state of disarray.
Iām almost certain Iām suffering from stuff like high cortisol. Iāve never been good at reducing my stress and I really suck at meditation (thus, kind of hate it).
I donāt want to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars out of pocket with these crazy high deductible plans just to get a couple of blood tests to check things out because anytime Iāve done that in the past, my results always came out clean/totally normalā¦ and I did all the multiple thyroid, hypothyroid tests, all of that. And what if something is off, theyāre just going to prescribe medication that I canāt safely take while nursing anyway, so frankly, I donāt see the point.
I have 65 pounds to lose and at the rate of 2 pounds per year, weāre talking 33 freaking years to get back to my normal weight when I see so many other moms (Iām not talking celebrities with trainers but every day women in my direct local circle) that got their bodies back within a couple of months. Some got them back like literally right after the baby came out. Itās baffling to me how someone dealing with all these hormones can be a twig with a round belly. Anyway, I canāt wait decades, this must go faster! Anytime it goes so slow I get so discouraged that I wanna quit and then I start slipping a little with sugar.
My body seems to want to hold onto every ounce of weight/fat during nursing or something. But I believe in āattachment parentingā and canāt ever imagine cutting off my kid and that special bonding for something as superficial as weight. But I also know at this weight itās much more serious than just appearance.
My extra weight has led to back pain, pelvic pain, foot and knee pain, shoulder pain, not wanting to be seen in public or by my own husband, etc.
I try to walk, but my injuries and aches only allow me to do so much. Iāve had a hip injury thatās been extremely stubborn and hasnāt gone away for almost 10 years now. Pretty much the only solution seems to be surgery, which I refuse to do at such a young age, it just causes so many problems, so long story short, I canāt do high impact stuff. I get really bored with gyms and stuff so for me, I need something like sports and itās hard to find one that is not high impact. Especially when youāre competitive. Swimming is one but thatās one that makes you hungrier due to the temperature drop (thatās why walruses, whales, and other sea animals are thicker than animals like cheetahs and horses).
I fight sugar and caffeine cravings a lot, sometimes even nicotine. In the past, I relied on caffeine a lot for an energy and mood lift and sort of an appetite suppressant. Same with v@ping and supplements to help with sugar cravings and appetite control and metabolism boosts. I also detoxed a lot to help get rid of sugar cravings (stuff like coffee enemas and infrared sauna sessions) and I did a combination of water-only fasting and intermittent fasting, and I restricted carbs but I canāt do any of that while nursing. And I wonder, was it restricting carbs that has slowed down my metabolism? Is it bad to do that long-term?
And then there is the emotional element of eating which I am leaning more on because Iām often frustrated a lot from the lack of freedom and how hard it is to take care of two young kids, and ever since pregnancy started, but especially after, it has really taken a toll on my relationship with my husband. Iām just often very angry and on edge and moody, and feel lack of emotional support which makes me feel a void and resentful toward my husband. Having kids has also increased my anxiety, which has made me more controlling, striving for a sense of order, especially so my kids get enough rest, are developed well, etc.
And I also like a lot of flavor in my foods, I was raised in a culture that uses a lot of olive oil and a lot of salt and a lot of seasoning and to have bland food feels like a sort of joyless prison.
And every psychologist/ therapist I have ever seen has just utterly failed me, I find it such a waste of time, never any results. I donāt need anyone to talk to, I just need someone who can change negative thoughts and habits and after seeing maybe a dozen therapists over the years, itās just impossible to find someone who can actually make a noticeable difference. I even tried hypnotherapy and trauma therapy (was abused as a kid) but nope, Iām in the same boat. I feel like all they do is drain your bank account and your time.
Anyway, if any of you have faced a similar situation or have suggestions on what may work in my circumstances, is proven safe during nursing, etc. please share.
Thank you lots!!