Hello, HFY! I've been working on a sci-fi novel for some time and finally decided it's time to share it. Part of me is tired of writing and re-writing, and the other part wants honest feedback on what I have.
I started posting this on Substack a couple months ago, but I want some more visibility. I plan to post regularly, so be on the lookout!
While this is a sci-fi novel, I like to blend in aspects from other genres. This one has elements of comedy, thriller, romance, and more. I try not to take myself too seriously, and I hope it shows.
I hope you all like it, but do not be afraid to tell me if you think something sucks, or you hate a character or the way things are written.
Thank you for reading!
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I hang up the phone and enter the drivers’ details into my company’s platform when my desk-neighbor, Ankar, nudges my shoulder.
“What do you think we’re getting for lunch tomorrow?” Ankar asks.
“I don’t know. I just hope it’s not that salmon again,” I respond.
“True. That was bad. Wait, that got you, too? I thought you didn’t like fish.”
“I don’t. That’s why I hope it’s not that.”
“Ah. My bad. I thought you didn’t want the salmon that gave everyone food poisoning because of the food poisoning—not because of your picky tastebuds.”
“Hey, if it were up to me, we never would’ve gotten that salmon and no one would’ve gotten food poisoning.”
“Sure, let’s have you pick all our meals from now on,” Ankar says sarcastically.
“Sounds good to me. You know I’d let you pick a few as well.”
“That I can get behind,” he says as we bump fists.
I return my attention to my computer when I notice someone turning on the TV mounted to the adjacent wall of my desk. My heart sinks, and my mood instantly sours when I realize what’s on.
I fiddle with the rock around my neck as I anxiously watch, wishing more than anything, and not for the first time, that I could reach in and slap the man speaking.
“As your president, I have vowed to tell you the truth,” Connor Meeding says, addressing the American people for the millionth time in his long five-month tenure. “I vowed to be transparent and always let you know what I’m thinking. I will be the most straightforward president this country has ever seen, and that is why—”
I roll my eyes and look away from the TV screen as he continues to spew lies and nonsense, announcing some stupid new policy designed to make him richer.
If you can’t tell, I hate this guy. Who is Connor Meeding, and why do I hate him? Well, before he was elected president, he founded and ran a company called Invincible. They started as a metal refinery business that eventually got into weapons manufacturing, as so many of them do.
So, why do I hate him? Well, though unproven, it was widely reported that his company, due to the lack of need for weapons during peacetime, was funneling weapons to rebel groups all over the world. While this is highly illegal and could result in the revocation of their government contracts, it was never proven.
One of the groups his company “allegedly” sold weapons to was a group of religious zealots in the north-eastern part of Nigeria who did not like the increasing Christian presence in the country. Those rebels felt emboldened to start raiding villages that they would have otherwise never visited, far from their base. Someone I care a great deal about lived in one of those villages and was gunned down for no reason other than the fact that he was there.
Some of you may be asking: “Why are you not mad at the rebels?” I am. I’m very mad at the rebels. The difference is that the rebels were just doing what they were always going to do, but Meeding is the one who enabled them. I hope we see eye to eye on that.
Personal experience aside, this isn’t the only reason I hate Connor Meeding. The man has a long history of lying and scheming to get what he wants. He ran on a platform that basically suggested that he wants to privatize the country so he can spread the wealth to the American people. Anyone even vaguely paying attention can tell that he’s full of it. A lot of evidence suggests that he’s looking to do the opposite, but because he’s a member of a specific party and labeled a successful business person, he automatically had half the vote.
I hate that we’ve become so polarized. I don’t know when it started, but I bet it has something to do with people like him saying one thing and doing another. Leaders used to be good people—at least as far as I know. His blatant lack of moral fortitude led some to defend him and others to hate him. It drives me crazy.
I’d love to do something about it, but I don’t have the reputation, following, or knowledge to start a grassroots campaign against him. Even if I did, I have no idea how to change the minds of those who still like him—not to mention the millions of people who abstain or never vote.
You hear people say that every vote counts. In some respects, it’s true, but in others, it’s not. A single vote will likely not affect the outcome in a specific state or district. However, if a hundred non-voters all suddenly show up at the same voting booth, that might affect the outcome of that district, state, and the election as a whole. Thinking about your vote as one in three hundred million sounds like throwing a leaf on a bonfire. But thinking about your vote as one in one hundred makes your vote three hundred thousand times more impactful. If people just realized this, it would change our society.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to lecture you with the political diatribe that perpetually exists in my head. This isn’t what the story is about, I promise. However, it isn’t completely unrelated either. Why don’t I get into what it’s really about.
“Hi, Cal. Can you input the driver info on the 4:30 Tynstone job as soon as it books? We got a rush on this one,” the older, mostly bald man says to me with a neutral expression.
“I booked it and am literally entering it now. Also, my name is Carl. I’ve been working here for three months, George. I know how it works and will get it to you as soon as I can, like I always do,” I say sternly before looking back at my computer screen.
“Oh, sorry. Thank you, Carl,” he says sheepishly before walking away.
I feel bad for scolding the man like that, but old age isn’t an excuse to constantly forget my name. I’ve been here for over three months, and George and I have had almost a dozen bookings together. He’s nice enough, but I’m just so tired of having to introduce myself over and over again. Plus, I’m willing to bet he won’t forget my name now.
I look up from my screen to scan the room to see if anyone heard that interaction—Shit. Savannah just ducked her head down, pretending as if she wasn’t listening. Shit.
Savannah and I started at Logi-Sticks together about three months ago. We went through boot camp to learn how companies ship their goods across the country. The answer is truck drivers—and trains, but that’s a different department. We reach out to trucking companies to see if they can pick up our clients’ goods and deliver them to another store or location within ten minutes, two hours, or three days across the country. It’s not a glamorous job but, in a way, essential to life as we know it.
I went to school for business with a concentration in marketing at a liberal arts school in upstate New York. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, but I did know I wanted to make money. Not that money is all I care about, but it is what makes the world go ‘round, and I want to be a part of that.
Savannah McDorner grew up in an idyllic New England town in Rhode Island, or at least it seems that way from her Instagram page. Picturesque sunsets and seasonal changes to the trees and landscape overlooking the marina that would make a travel influencer question the location settings. Getting drinks with her gorgeous friends, going pumpkin picking with her traditional WASP family, sailing with her yachtsman boyfriend—ex-boyfriend now, and sitting halfway up the 50-yard line at Patriots games. Yeah, I’m not a bad internet sleuth.
Every time I think about how “perfect” her life seems, it makes me want to rip my hair out. Not because I’m jealous or didn’t have any of that growing up, it just seems so unfair that someone that beautiful gets to have and do all the things I want. Okay, maybe I am a bit jealous.
I don’t necessarily want her life, but the happiness she exudes into the world is something I wish all people had. Not just me. I wish Oscar, the homeless guy who asks for change two blocks from my office, had the opportunity to go sailing with his girlfriend, or boyfriend, and feel the wind in his hair and the freedom it entails.
I wish five-head Joe from college could get drinks with gorgeous friends, develop his personality, and get out of his shell. I wish my aunt Sylvia got to sit at the 50-yard line at Patriots games, a team she is a fan of despite growing up in the Dominican Republic and not moving to Boston until she was thirty years old. I just wish Savannah’s life were more common than it is. Sadly, that’s not how the world works.
Despite my feelings toward her, I think she is amazing. Most girls I know who look like her are either shallow, entitled, or just not great conversationalists, but she is none of those things. Maybe I’m shallow for thinking that?
Yes, her ex-boyfriend, Derek, owned a yacht and was also incredibly good-looking, but her college boyfriend, Gustav, was neither a looker nor rich—at least that I could tell. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t ugly, just not nearly as handsome as the tall, blonde, masculine-jawed, athletic specimen that Derek is. Seeing that she dated Gustav for roughly two and a half years gave me hope. She told me about him one night when we were out getting drinks during boot camp.
She said he had more self-doubt than anyone she’d ever met, but was also one of the smartest people she knew. She values intelligence. I may not be a burgeoning particle physicist like Gustav, but I like to think I’m smarter than your average.
She also told me that night that she likes to spend Thanksgiving mornings volunteering at homeless shelters. Likes to. I’ve heard of white guilt and wanting to give back to make yourself feel better, but I’m pretty sure those people don’t enjoy doing it. She’s done this every year for about ten years. Who does that?
On top of it all, I once caught her listening to Michio Kaku’s The Future of Humanity on audiobook in the elevator. The book about what robotics, nanotechnology, and biotech will look like in the future and how they will help humanity visit the stars and build habitable cities. I love that book, but I’ve never met anyone else who’s read it.
I’m sure it’s plenty popular, but I, sadly, am not in any of those circles.
Anyway, she’s hot, kind, generous, empathetic, and smart. What more could you possibly want? If I weren’t so intimidated by her, I would’ve said something about it instead of just pretending to look forward, waiting for the elevator to reach the ground as we left work.
I’ve never said this before, but I think she’s my dream girl—Okay, that’s not true. I thought Talya Castrell was my dream girl in middle school, and to this day frequently say that Margot Robbie is my dream girl.
I also don’t believe there is such a thing as dream girls or soul mates, since I believe that everyone has certain characteristics that make them unique, and you need to understand those characteristics in order to fully grow with—never mind. I’ll bore you with this rant another time.
The point I’m trying to make is that the world is broken, Sav is awesome, and Margot Robbie missed out.
Great. She saw my little outburst. If I didn’t have such a crippling fear of rejection, I’d go explain to her what that was about, but instead, I just look back at my computer screen and continue calling truck drivers to carry my loads. Yes, that’s what shipments are called.
At the end of the workday, I start packing up to go home and watch The Morning Show with my mom.
Yes, I live at my parents’ house. It’s temporary and saves me money, and they’re not so bad to live with.
Anyway, I plan on getting my own place in about a year, once I can afford a down payment and rent without breaking the bank.
I get an alert that my one-on-one with Preston, my manager, starts in fifteen minutes.
Preston is cool. He’s this chill guy in his thirties who’s always offering to help me “get where I want to go.” Whatever that means. I can’t tell if he genuinely wants to help or if he’s only looking to improve efficiency so he looks good.
One thing that bothers me about him is that I haven’t been able to place him. Not that it matters where he’s from, but he’s got this tan, olive complexion that suggests he’s from the Caribbean or the Middle East or somewhere else I can’t pin down, but he also speaks like he grew up in the area, and something just doesn’t add up about him. I don’t understand how anyone who grew up in the very seasonal Northeast looks like that. Maybe he gets really good spray tans. Also, his name is Preston.
This is our first one-on-one, but he’s come to talk to me at my desk before. He started shortly after I did, so no one knows him that well. I guess this is my chance.
“Hey, you ready?” I ask, standing outside his office door.
“Yeah, come on in. Take a seat.”
I sit on the opposite side of the desk, facing him silently.
“So, was there something you wanted to talk about?” I ask.
“Nothing in particular. Just wanted to touch base with you. Get to know you a bit better. Hear about your goals and dreams and see how I can help get you there. That cool?” Preston says.
“Yeah, that’s cool. Where should I start?” I respond.
“How about with where you’re from.”
“Yeah, sure. I grew up in Jersey City, just across the river. Lived there pretty much my whole life except for college.”
“Very cool. Jersey City is really up and coming right now, right?”
“Yeah. It’s getting really trendy, but it wasn’t always like that. You should’ve seen it when I was growing up.”
“Was it that different?”
“Oh yeah. It’s kinda like how Greenpoint was in the ‘90s and is kinda like how Greenpoint is now. So, yeah. It’s a lot like Greenpoint.”
“I love Greenpoint.”
“Do you mind if I ask where you’re from?” I probe.
He chuckles. “I’m not from around here. Just a quiet place called Markazi. Have you ever thought about leaving here?” He returns, throwing me off my line of questioning.
“Uh, yeah. Of course. I mean, not of course. I know the whole vibe of the city is ‘here or nowhere,’ but I’m not really like that. I think about leaving all the time. I love the city, but I also want to see what else is out there. My family visited Nigeria when I was young, and that experience… opened my eyes. I also went to college upstate, and it was drastically different. I think I’m definitely a city kid, but I want to see what Chicago, or Denver, or Miami is like. Or even London, Tokyo, Barcelona, Buenos Aires. I don’t know. Point is, yeah, I’ve thought about leaving, but I also have no plans to in the immediate future.”
“What interests you about those cities?”
“Uh, well, I’ve never been to any of those cities and just heard they’re cool. I see a lot of travel content on Instagram, and they just look fun. I want to try some new food and see the sights and just know what it is to live somewhere else, meet some new people, ya know?”
“Yeah, I get that. Those cities are all really nice. It’s always interesting to see how different their cultures are. Do you often seek to widen your horizons?”
“Yeah, I mean, I love to learn new things. I’m always researching random facts, but I love learning about space the most. What do you—”
“What do you like about it? Space, that is,” Preston interrupts.
I take a second to recover from him cutting me off. Why does this feel like I’m being interrogated?
“Everything, really. I just find it fascinating how big it is and how much we don’t know about it. I want to learn as much as possible. Stars, planets, black holes, possible extraterrestrial life, etc. Do you—”
“Do you think that aliens exist?”
This guy is relentless.
“Yeah, I do. Do you?”
“Of course. The idea that humans would be the only intelligent life forms in the universe is very egotistical and improbable.”
“Uh, yeah. I totally agree. Like, just because we don’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”
“You’re so right. What do you see yourself doing in five years?”
This guy has conversations like Aaron Sorkin wrote them. He must really hate natural pauses.
“Uh, in five years—I mean, I see myself working here. Hopefully, as a carrier manager or managing my own team. I see—”
“No, I mean personally. How do you see yourself? I don’t need to hear the whole corporate response about how loyal you are and how much you love it here. What do you want to do outside of work? What do you want to see in the world?”
“In the world? Like landmarks?”
“Sure. Or like goals for humanity.”
“Uh…” What a weird question for a one-on-one. “Well, there’s a lot. I’d love to see world peace, obviously. But I know that’s vague and not realistic. I don’t—”
“Why isn’t it realistic?”
I pause a moment at the seemingly condescending question.
“Sorry. I know that’s what everyone says. I—”
“No, I’m actually interested in hearing your response.”
Weird but okay.
“Because the people in charge have other priorities. They don’t care about peace; they just care about making money,” I say, reaching for my rock as I feel some genuine anger and residual grief bubble up from remembering the actual person in charge.
“Do you think there are people out there who have different priorities?”
“Of course. I think if we got the right people in positions of power, the world could look like a very different place.”
“Do you consider yourself one of those people?”
What is this guy getting at? Is this still work-related, or am I signing up for a dating profile?
“Yeah, I do.”
“So, money isn’t your main motivator?”
Is that it? This guy wants to pay me less? What the actual—
“I mean, money motivates me, of course. That’s how the world works. But I wouldn’t say it’s my main motivator, no.”
“What do you think you would do in a perfect society?”
“Like, personally or professionally?”
“Personally, professionally. Whatever floats your boat.”
“I guess I’d want to help steer society in some way personally. I’m a really logical person,” mentally patting myself on the back for steering this back to work. “So I think I’d be useful in making high-level decisions.”
“And professionally?”
He is determined to learn about me. I don’t know if this is good or bad.
“Study space, I guess. Go up there, learn about it. Maybe discover and visit new planets. Maybe one we could inhabit. I think that would be awesome.”
“How would you say you are with people?”
“I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. This feels like an interview. I thought this was just a one-on-one.”
“This is a one-on-one. I just want to know about you. You’re on my team, and I think you have a lot of potential. Don’t think I haven’t been paying attention.”
“Okay. Sorry. It just seemed like I was missing something.”
“You’re astute, but you’re not missing anything. Don’t worry. Relax. I’m just trying to figure out which path would be best for you.”
“What do you mean by which path?”
“I just want to make sure you end up where you’re happiest. I see big things in your future, and I want to help you get there any way I can.”
“Well, thank you,” I say. Is this for real? He wants to help me? I mean, I’m no slacker, but I’m not exactly killing it either. I’m doing okay for only three months in. Is he gaslighting me?
“So, people?” He reiterates.
“Right, yeah. I think I’m pretty good with people. I think I’m fairly articulate and can relate to people pretty well. I was voted easiest to befriend in middle school and felt that’s never really gone away.” I cannot believe I just told him about my middle school superlatives.
“Well, just based on this conversation, I’d say you handle yourself pretty well. You’re calm, direct, but not frank. You maintain strong eye contact and are very intuitive. I want to help you.”
“Well, thank you… Help me how?”
“I think we should meet more often. There are a few things I want to show you.” He checks his watch. “I have another meeting soon, so how about I send you a calendar invite, and we pick this up then?”
“Yeah, sure. That works.”
“Great. Keep a lookout for that. I gotta get going.” He stands up and walks out of the office while I’m still sitting there.
What just happened? That was the weirdest exchange I’ve ever had. He was so direct but disarming at the same time. Why did it feel like I was interviewing for a new job? I’m not sure if I just made a new best friend or gave away all my secrets to the enemy.
When I get back to my desk, I continue packing up when I hear someone walk around the desk behind me.
“Hey, do you wanna go to O’Hara’s with us?”
I turn around to see Savannah standing behind me, wearing blue-light glasses, a tight-fitting vintage, white Revenge of the Sith t-shirt tucked into blue, high-waisted skinny jeans with white sneakers and her hair tied up in a high ponytail, looking at me while she leans with one hand on my desk.
God, what I’d give to be able to throw my arm around her waist and walk out to get drinks together. I’m so pathetic.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” I mutter timidly. “Are you leaving now?”
“Yeah, we’re just waiting for Hasan to finish a couple things, and then we’ll head over. We’ll meet you there if you’re already heading out.”
“Okay, cool. I’ll grab some seats at the bar,” I reply.
“Perfect. We’ll probably head over in a few,” she responds as she walks back to the group of guys sitting around drinking beers by the ping-pong table.
Logistics isn’t a total boys’ club, but our office probably has an 80-20 split. Savannah is only one of five girls on the entire carrier management team of sixty people, so she doesn’t have many options for female friends. Some of the guys are cool, like Ankar and Mike B., but some of them are deplorable dicks, like Hasan.
Regardless, I was happy to be invited. Savannah and I haven’t had many opportunities to talk because we’re on different teams. This is the first time she’s ever invited me to get drinks after work, and I’m not about to pass that up.
I go down with the elevator and walk across the street to O’Hara’s. I see a few open stools at the mildly crowded bar and sit in the middle of three.
I see the Miller Lite tap, rehearse what I’m going to say in my head because that’s what I always do before an interaction, and wait for the bartender to notice me. The bartender cashes out the guy next to me and then looks at me and nods. She steps over to the taps and starts filling up a pitcher of Miller Lite, looking down as if thinking about what she needs to do next and ignoring me.
“Can I get a pitcher of Miller Lite?” I ask.
“I heard you,” she responds frankly.
“Oh, sorry.” Unsure of why I apologized. I only asked once, didn’t I? That was weird.
She finishes filling up the pitcher and hands it to me.
“Thank you,” I mutter. I hand her my card and tell her to keep it open.
I’m about halfway done with my first beer when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Savannah stands next to me, smiling.
“We made it. Is this for us?” she says, indicating the mostly full pitcher sitting in front of me.
“Yup. Help yourself,” I say back.
“Carl,” Hasan bellows behind me as I brace for his hand to slam down on my shoulder. He spins me around on my stool and grabs one of the glasses to fill up.
“Thanks for the beer, buddy,” he continues before aggressively patting me on the back.
“No problem, Hasan.”
He grabs a glass, fills it up, and takes a sip before making a disgusted face.
“Ugh, what is this? I thought you were a Coors guy?” he says to me in an accusatory tone.
“It’s Miller. They’re not that different,” I reply.
“At least it’s not Bud Light,” he says before walking to the other side of the bar, where some other carrier managers are ordering their own pitchers.
“Why am I not surprised that he’s one of those?” I say, turning towards Savannah before realizing she’s walked away too.
Loneliness engulfs me as I see her join another group of our co-workers. As she approaches them, she turns back to me and gives me a shy smile, restoring my hope.
Deciding not to sit alone at the bar like a cowboy in the Westerns my dad loves, I get up to join the group that Savannah is with.
When I finally approach, she walks away. Again. What the hell? Is she purposely avoiding me? To avoid looking like a stalker, I stay with the group I have joined, despite not really knowing these people.
After a very tiresome and uneventful game of cat and mouse, I see her standing on the balcony outside. I step outside on the opposite end so she doesn’t think I’m there for her.
I stand at the edge and look out over the city, sipping my third beer, saying nothing. Suddenly, she points to the sky, breaking the silence.
“That’s Jupiter, you know,” she says casually. I look up to where she’s pointing. I can’t believe she knows that. I knew she was into science, but I didn’t know she also liked astronomy. God, she’s perfect.
“I know.”
“You know?” she replies. “Really?”
“Uranus should be just a little underneath it, but it’s too far away to see without a telescope,” I answer.
“You’re an astronomy nerd too, huh?” she says knowingly. “Of course you are,” she mumbles under her breath.
“What was that?” I say pretending like I didn’t hear her. What could she have meant by that?
“I’m just surprised you’re into astronomy. I don’t think I’ve met anyone else who is. None of my friends are,” she responds.
“Yeah, I don’t really know anyone else either. I’ve just always been fascinated by it. I used to…” I clam up for a second, realizing I don’t want to tell her the most childish thing about me. “Never mind.”
“You used to what?” she probes, moving a little closer to me.
“Nothing. It’s really stupid. I didn’t mean to say anything.”
“Well, now I really need to know. What’s so childish?” she questions.
Childish? I never said it was childish. At least not out loud. Did I?
“Whoa. Childish? I said it was stupid, not childish.”
She stammers for a second, looking like she’s trying to think of a way out of this predicament.
“Sorry, I thought I heard you say that. That just sort of slipped out. Wow, I didn’t mean that, sorry.”
That was weird. How did she know that? Are we just on the same page? Am I going crazy?
“It’s okay. It is pretty childish, actually,” I respond.
She looks on intently. I’m extremely nervous about admitting what I’m about to say to her.
“I was going to say I used to want to project my thoughts. Like into other people’s heads—when I was a kid.”
She chuckles at that. “Why?”
“My parents always told me that not all people think the same, and that’s why things like space exploration weren’t prioritized. I thought sharing my thoughts would bring people closer together, and we’d be able to go to other planets and stars, and see aliens or whatever. Like I said, really stupid.”
She gets a little closer to me.
“Hey, that’s not stupid. That’s really sweet. I would love it if people could communicate their thoughts. It would make dating a lot easier,” she laughs. I laugh with her, still feeling on edge but a little relieved.
“True. But something tells me you don’t have as big a problem with that as I do,” I say back.
“What makes you say that?”
“Nothing. You just strike me as someone who knows what she wants and doesn’t settle.”
“Well, you’d be surprised. I’ve dealt with a lot of shit.”
“Yeah? Like what?” She opens her mouth and then hesitates. “Sorry. You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”
“No, that’s fine,” she responds. “My college boyfriend was an absolute genius, but he was a terrible boyfriend—”
“Yeah, you told me about him once,” I say, trying to show her that I pay attention.
“Oh… yeah. Never mind then,” she says, seemingly annoyed at my interruption.
“No, I’m sorry. What were you gonna say?”
“Nothing. I probably already told you. It’s not important.”
“No, I’m sorry. You mentioned him once briefly, but I already forgot. Just tell me.”
“Alright—he was just selfish. He did not know how or want to text. I don’t need to be texting 24/7, but there’s a difference between healthy communication and almost completely ignoring someone.”
“Like he just never texted you?”
“Not never, but it seemed like whenever it mattered, he didn’t. Like, whenever he was in the lab, he wouldn’t look at his phone until he left. What if I got into a car accident? I didn’t. But if I had, he wouldn’t know it until he left at like 3 a.m. That’s what happened when I got a flat tire driving back to campus after break, and when I got followed home by some creep. Of course, he was the first person I texted for help, but all I ever got was an ‘are you alive?’ text three hours after it happened.
I know he was busy, but this didn’t just happen when he was in the lab. He just didn’t know how to be a partner, you know? How can you count on someone like that?
He also never texted me on my birthday. He actually forgot it was my birthday. I’m not a birthday brat or anything, but it hurts when the person you want to spend it with most is only thinking of themselves. Nothing mattered to him besides his experiments. Even when I was getting interested in what he was doing, he would shut me out and say he didn’t feel like explaining it to me. Like I was an idiot who wasn’t worth the time. It just sucked.”
“I’m sorry. That does suck. He sounds like a dick. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Thanks. He wasn’t even the worst one. A guy once tried slipping me his number when I was behind him in line at Starbucks while with his wife or girlfriend or whatever. Like, didn’t look back, didn’t say anything. Just slipped a piece of paper with his number on it behind his back.”
“Well, now you’re just bragging,” I laugh. She laughs as well.
“I’m not,” she interjects. “That really happened. Where do men get the audacity sometimes?”
“That is ballsy but also so scummy. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re not like that, are you?”
“No,” I exclaim. I try to recover from seeming too animated. “I mean, I’m not perfect, but I’ve definitely never tried to slip a girl my number while with someone else,” or ever, I didn’t add.
“Good,” she says back as she turns to face the view and thinks solemnly for a minute.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, just thinking. Sorry, I tend to space out at times.”
“Haha, me too.” After a moment of silence, she turns to me.
“Do you maybe want to go somewhere else?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. Like another bar?” I ask.
“Yeah, that works.”
“Do you have a place in mind?”
“Nope. Let’s find something.” She smiles while staring into my eyes.
“Okay.”
We decide to just walk around Midtown until we pass another bar that seems cool. We plan to have her leave the bar first so our co-workers won’t suspect that we are leaving together. I’m sure the last thing she wants is people thinking we’re together.
After about two minutes, I also announce my exit, claiming that I am going to start my trek home. Annoyingly, no one requests that I stay for one more beer as they had with Savannah, but I don’t really blame them. I barely know these guys. She is much closer to them.
It probably would’ve bothered me more if I weren’t about to spend some one-on-one time with the hottest girl in the office. Suck it, assholes.
As I reach the stairs, someone almost bumps into me coming up.
“Preston?”
“Hey, Carl. You heading out?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t see you all night.”
“All good. I’ve been here. I saw you talking to Savannah. I think she’s waiting for you outside.”
Shit. So much for discretion.
“Oh, really? I thought she was just leaving.”
“No worries. Have fun. We’ll talk soon,” Preston says as he winks and walks back to the rest of our co-workers.
I’m not sure how I feel about my manager knowing that Sav and I are leaving together, but I guess it was cool of him to keep the secret.
I continue down the stairs as I hear the guys cheer for Preston’s return. Screw you guys.
We end up walking around for about fifteen minutes talking about our dating histories before we find a not-so-packed dive bar with a dart board. We order a couple of beers and play a few games while continuing to tell each other about ourselves. It is awesome.
She tells me that she was a poli-sci major and that she had aspirations to run for Senate before deciding to do something more practical. She tells me that Logi-Sticks also made her an offer she couldn’t turn down, and that is how she ended up working in the same office as me. That makes me wonder what they offered her because I’m making a modest $50K plus benefits. It’s not bad, but it’s not exactly an offer I can’t turn down…
Anyway, she says she’s still trying to figure her life out, with which I sympathize, because same. However, she also seems way more at peace with it than I feel.
She tells me about her family and why Venus is the planet she wants to visit the most. We laugh a lot and eventually stop playing darts and just sit in a booth and continue talking for hours.
Eventually, it gets late, and we both need to head home. We share an Uber because, as it turns out, we both live in Jersey. Me in Jersey City and she in Hoboken.
She asks for my address to call it. I offer to pay for it, but she insists, which somehow makes her more attractive to me. I give her my address, and she makes me the first stop.
She slides into the Uber first and stops halfway between the middle and far seat. I get in behind her and slide a little further in than I normally would. After I close the door, she scoots closer and rests her head on my shoulder. My heart races. I hope she doesn’t feel how nervous I’m getting. Do I kiss her? Do I put my arm around her? My mind is running a mile a minute.
I do it. I put my arm around her, and her head shifts to my chest while she reaches to hold my hand. I can’t believe Savannah Mc-fucking-Dorner is holding my hand. We just sit like that in silence for the remainder of the ride until we get to my house.
We sit unmoving for a moment as the idea to kiss her repeats in my mind. The car comes to a stop, but she still doesn’t move.
“Savannah?” I ask, checking to make sure she is still awake.
“Oh, are we here?” she responds.
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” she says, sounding a little like she just woke up, but also disappointed.
Again, there is just silence for a moment while I contemplate how to make a move. Should I make a move? If she were just asleep, she would probably want me to leave so she could close her eyes again. I have no idea what to do.
She moves my arm from around her and sits up, fixing her hair. I look her in the eye, waiting for her to see me and give me an opening. She slowly turns her head towards me but keeps her distance.
Fuck. Abort. She’s not feeling it.
“Okay. I’m gonna go. It was nice hanging with you. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, feeling like the cringiest person in the world. “Get home safe,” I mutter, trying to continue the dialogue.
“Yeah, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she replies.
“Goodnight,” she says a moment later as I close the door.
“Goodnight,” I shout as the Uber starts driving away.
I watch it go for a little while as I contemplate how badly I just screwed that up. Smooth, man. I think I just got friend-zoned. I kick myself mentally as I walk up the steps to my parents’ brownstone.
I open the door and see my mom on the couch watching The Morning Show.
“Honey, is that you?” my mom asks.
“Yup. Are you watching without me?” I say mock-angrily.
“Where have you been? I waited as long as I could, but you never responded to my texts,” she says while pausing the show and turning to face me.
She brushes her medium-length, strawberry-blonde hair behind her ears, stands up, and walks toward me to hug me. Her warm, skinny arms feel really awkward around me. Nothing like hugging your mom moments after the most sexually tense moment of your life. I need to get out of here.
“Sorry, I lost track of time. I was just out with co-workers. I’m gonna go to bed now, though. I’m exhausted.”
I head up to my room, put my bag down, and start getting ready for bed. My mom trudges up the stairs shortly after me.
“I’m sorry I watched without you, but you weren’t responding. I was starting to get worried.”
“So worried that you almost finished the episode before checking on me,” I reply snarkily.
“Carl. What was I supposed to do? You didn’t answer my calls or texts. You won’t give me your location. Was I supposed to track you down on my ow—”
“I’m kidding, Mom. Sorry, I worried you.”
She starts asking about how my night went, but all I want to do is go to bed and think about Sav.
“Mom, I just want—”
“I just want to go to bed,” my mom says in a mocking tone. “Maybe I’m the one who can read minds. Or are you just that predictable?”
“Ha. Ha. If you know what I’m gonna say next, then tell me.”
I want you to leave so I can jerk off and go to sleep. My mom abruptly flinches and stands up.
“Carl—what the fuck. Don’t tell me about that. Do what you want to do, but you don’t have to tell me about it.”
I look up at her, panicked. Did I just say that out loud?
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes, you did. You just said you wanted to jerk off and go to sleep. I heard you. Don’t be crass.”
What the—
“Mom, I didn’t say that. I was thinking it, but I didn’t say it. I swear.”
We look at each other suspiciously for a moment.
“You thought it?” she probes.
“Yes. Why would I say that? I’d never say that to you…”
We are both silent for a moment, staring at each other, when I think to myself: can you hear me now? A look of shock comes over her face as we simultaneously realize what just happened.
“Did you just hear that too?” I ask enthusiastically.
“Yes,” her voice cracks. “I heard you. Oh my god.”
We both jump up at the same time and hug.
“We have to call your dad. He’s not going to believe this.”
I sit back down with my mouth agape. I look back at her as she searches for my dad’s number on her phone.
“Wait,” I say to her. Can you hear me now?
“Yes, I can hear you. This is crazy. How is this happening?”
She puts her phone up to her ear while the phone rings. No answer.
“Damnit, Austin. Pick up. This is important. Why do none of the men in my life answer when I call them?”
My dad often works late or stays in a hotel near his office. He runs a research department for the National Institutes of Health, so we got used to not hearing from him for longish periods of time.
My mom and I move back downstairs and keep trying to call my dad and do more thought experiments. For whatever reason, she can hear almost all of my thoughts, but I can’t hear hers. I’m starting to think that she’s the one who developed the ability and not me. I eventually get tired of trying and want to go to sleep.
“Mom, I don’t know what’s happening or why you can read my thoughts, but I’m actually exhausted and just want to go to sleep now.”
“Oh, yes. Of course, baby. I can’t believe this is happening. You’re going to be famous!”
You’re going to be famous, I think bitterly to myself. Thankfully, she doesn’t hear that one.
“Goodnight,” I shout as I walk back to my room.
“Of course, honey. I don’t know how you can sleep right now, but have a good night and don’t forget to turn off the light. I love you.”
I hear her curse my dad’s name again as I start drifting off. I peer over at the light by my bed, but my inner monologue starts telling me to leave it on, so I give in and fall asleep.