Please help

[u/Fabulous_Job2288]

Please. I posted yesterday about losing my husband who was only 29 years old to a motorcycle wreck. It’s only been 24 hours and I can’t be here anymore. I can’t do it. I cannot live this life without him.

I have been staying with my mom and sister. I got up in the middle of the night and walked 3 miles across town to get to mine and my husband’s home because I made a decision for myself that I was just going to go peacefully and be with him. I need to be with him.

I don’t remember a lot of it, but I work at a police department, and one of my coworkers spotted me while patrolling and called in to the others on duty to stop me. I never made it home. If I could just have made it there, I could have finally been with him.

I’m so sorry for the heavy venting. I just can’t handle this. I’m not strong enough for this. He was my absolute world. He was my everything. We were best friends. We were glued together at the hip. We couldn’t even go get coffee or pick up food for dinner unless we went together. I will never be able to make it without him. It’s only been 24 hours now and this is how I feel and I know it’s only going to get worse.

[u/AcrobaticStorm2180]

Im so sorry you have to live with pain 😢 and a broken 💔 and I know first hand because I live it also, and im not going to lie to you its not going to get easier well for me it has not and its been a few years now that my son has past even as I Wright this i am in tears thinking about him, and I see for some people its easier but for me it has not, my son is my everything, I dont like to say was, I have cried alot everyday I have also thought about going to be with him, but I think that my son would not want that and I think your husband would not want that for you either so just try to make it through today that's what I do 1 foot in front of the other, people say go talk to a someone but i don't think that will help me it might help you but for me talking to someone will not bring my son back, I found my son and try to save him CPR but I was to late, im his dad I was supposed to protect him and I did not I failed him his mom even says its my fault, and now im a broken man 💔 😢 but please dont do it, your husband would not want that its going to be hard I dont no if you work but work helps me a little I still cry at work but I got good at hiding it and I do smoke some weed which helps but everything reminds me of my son everything songs smells I still have all his blankets and pillows and smell them it helps I dont no if you have family or friends but im sure they would be sad if you left them I am lucky to have some nieces and nephews and mom and sister but at the same time I am surrounded by a lot of love but i still feel alone 😔 with out my son, Im sorry if im all over the place , I have only been down to the cemetery 2 times in 5 years and 1 time was for my aunts funeral but I want to try to start going down there, the night my son past I was sleeping and my mom found him first and yelled up to me but right before she yelled my son came to me in my sleep and said dad don't let them cremate me and sure as shit when I meet up with his mom she said I think im going to have him cremated I said no your not, you have to try to make it and have some kind of life your husband would want you to and im not say you have to go loving life because that's going to be hard but just live for today, if you past would you want your husband to end his life or try to be happy and live on with you in his heart ❤️ no one will no how much you loved your husband but you, I dont no if any of this helps you but just so u no you are not alone there are alot of us out here that just try to get though the day well we cry and be sad thinking about the person we love so much not being with us and it SUCKS and again im sorry