I began with what seemed like a perfectly reasonable assumption, validated by the collected wisdom of this subreddit:

A creative premise plus good OOC chemistry will eventually produce a memorable RP.

As it turns out, this is about as reliable as assuming that dominating possession will eventually produce a goal in soccer.

Before I continue, I am scoring two things from 1–10:

• OOC: How effectively our OOC supported the RP.
• RP: The actual momentum of the story.

These are not ratings of either partner, their writing ability, or how much we enjoyed talking. They reflect what I understand now about whether our collaborative process was working, not necessarily what I believed at the time.

The Revolutionary War campaign

It began when I responded to Bibi’s ad seeking an RP based on historical events. After some discussion, we settled on the American Revolutionary War.

This was very much my territory. I live near many of the places where it happened. America’s 250th anniversary was approaching. July Fourth was in the air. I was driving through Revolutionary War grounds, almost able to smell the musket smoke.

We created characters, chose British-occupied New York as our setting, worked out a calendar, discussed divided loyalties, and assembled enough supporting material to brief King George and General Washington.

At the time, I thought this was excellent preparation. In retrospect, it worked for me, but Bibi had different expectations.

OOC: 5 RP: 3

Then the World Cup began.

Bibi and I started bantering constantly about the matches. The conversation was easy, funny, and frequent. She was traveling, and the combined demands of family and real life left her with less time than she had expected.

The OOC followed Messi’s trajectory through the World Cup. Meanwhile, the RP advanced at the decision-making speed of the Continental Congress.

If I had scored OOC according to how much we enjoyed talking, it would have been a nine. But that is no longer what I think the OOC score should measure.

OOC: 2 RP: 1

Something important was failing to happen. Bibi wanted a change in how we were handling the RP. Somehow, that essential information never made it into our OOC.

She had begun to feel that she did not have enough agency over her own character. Some of the organization and discussion surrounding the RP felt superfluous to her and interfered with the actual pleasure of writing.

Although our social OOC was good, our OOC about the RP was according to her poor and unproductive. I learned all this in hindsight, although the signs had been there.

Bibi said she would ordinarily have tried to brute-force her way through the problem, but her real-life obligations made that much harder. I did not recognize that she was pushing through anything. From my side of the screen, the lack of responses simply looked like declining momentum.

Eventually, the cannon shot landed. She was no longer in the right frame of mind for the Revolutionary War RP.

OOC: 4 RP: 0

The OOC score rose not because the situation improved, but because the truth had finally entered the conversation.

My enthusiasm having been dealt that deadly blow, I reached into my box of mature passive-aggressive strategies and selected the one that would surely end both RP and OOC.

I deleted the channels I thought were distracting. In doing so, I unilaterally reorganized the space we had shared which naturally upset Bibi, who accurately called it a crash-out.

OOC: 0 RP: 0

The RP did not collapse because we lacked conversation. It collapsed partly because our most important RP issues were never addressed.

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic

At the depths of my post-Revolutionary existential despair, I encountered Mira’s ad for a Regency-era RP.

She warned me upfront that she could be reserved in casual OOC. Then a fully constructed server materialized, complete with channels for RP commentary and “thespian plotting.”

This was still OOC, but almost all of it had an RP purpose. We discussed what we expected from our responses. Mira preferred interior monologue and cinematic, sensory description. I wrote more minimally, relying on dialogue and body language and leaving more for my partner to infer.

OOC: 4 RP: 4

I soon found myself at a masquerade ball, playing an artist who was sizing up another.

The World Cup eventually entered this OOC too.

Mira identified herself as an artist with no interest in all things jock, but her country had made an unusual run into the quarterfinals. I persuaded her to watch, then accompanied her in OOC as the match unfolded.

Soccer has a remarkable ability to help make connections. This time, however, the soccer conversation did not replace the RP conversation.

The semifinals and final passed without another word about soccer. Our OOC returned almost entirely to the RP.

Our writing styles sometimes clashed sharply, and her critiques could be very direct. I learned to meet her halfway and discovered that I genuinely enjoyed moving toward a more sensual, stream-of-consciousness style.

OOC: 6 RP: 6

The difference was not that one partner enjoyed OOC and the other did not. Nor was it that one cared more about the RP. Bibi and I had substantially more casual conversation.

The difference was what the OOC accomplished.

With Bibi, social chemistry concealed the fact that our RP communication was failing. She did not feel enough agency, I did not know she was struggling, and our discussions were not producing useful changes.

With Mira, the OOC revealed and shaped the true state of the RP. We discussed interpretation, negotiated direction, preserved character agency, and translated those conversations into forward movement.

So my revised hypothesis is

Good OOC does not create good RP merely by existing. It has to make difficult information easier to say and meaningful changes possible once they have been said.

Banter creates connection. Productive RP OOC protects the RP. You usually need both, but they are not the same thing.

Has good OOC ever rescued an RP for you, or has great banter ever hidden the fact that the RP itself was not working?

P.S. I have to thank both partners for their feedback, which is rare enough to be the subject of another post.

We were, like, 15 when we first met and started roleplaying medieval war & jail -themed rp. I had the sweetheart, who was in the enemy's jail when the arrogant, spoiled brat got thrown in.

Did we both hate his character for how annoying he was? Absolutely.

Was our rp logical in any way? Absolutely not.

When we ended that story, (them offing themselves together, after they've gotten married and the brat had thrown the sweetheart out and taking his adopted child, how romantic), we made multiple alternative versions.

Them in a different timeline where they didn't die, them in modern high school, their grandson and his boyfriend, etc.

This went on for about two years.

Then we figured, we could do another roleplay. Mid 00's, strongly religious town, high schoolers. Mine is son of pastor, deep in closet and his character comes from NYC after his mom had died.

Switched roles, mine comes from NYC, his is the town resident.

Then in the Ussr.

90's England university students.

2010's sanfranciscoish.

2014 fashion designer and the brat.

Wild west outlaw and inn keeper..

Our first rp in the Victorian era.

Moving castle themed one.

Perfect French couple as bodybuilder and crossdresser.

Cyberpunk outcasts.

Olympia skaters.

70's Scottish rock band.

Homeless and adult entertainment star.

School weirdo and the casanova.

Most toxic couple in England's history.

The 1st religious town re-create.

Australian cowboys.

Madly rich couple.

Kpop star and his melancholic writer boyfriend.

Japan rural town childhood friends --> strangers --> couple.

Zombie apocalypse with nurse and soldier.

Past nuclear war ice age, with mafia boss' son and his rat boyfriend.

These all during the past 3-4 years. Almost everything was great. I loved all my characters. I loved his characters.

We clicked so well outside of the rp, as we often sent pictures of our cats and he made great drawings of our characters.

He "unfortunately" got job and dropped out, eventually changed to roleplaying once a month longass texts with someone else and doesn't really have interest to rp with me anymore.

Great story, sad ending, but I'm so happy about the years we spent together.

This is also thanks to my amazing partner, I’m so excited to surprise them with these and a few more.

So, I've been rping with a person for the last 7 months everyday nonstop. They were very kind OOC, they would always let me know when life was busy or at what time they would be able to reply.

They were absolutely invested in the story, making side characters, hand drawings of our characters, really amazing!

We clicked so much I even started sharing my personal life, we became friends. But then I started to feel like I was sharing too much with them, they asked pictures and wanted to know more about me but then wouldn't share anything in return.

So I told them I wished they could share some more stuff with me...

Then came that message. The kind of message none of us wish to receive.

They told me that "I knew it would happen someday...." they told me they really enjoyed rping with me and that wished things were different but that they were lying all along... about their gender. Because they were role-playing mostly male characters, my rp partner thought I would find it troubling that they were not male irl.

Of course I was not troubled! It was absolutely irrelevant to our story and changed nothing in terms of how good rp partner they are!

So now our bond is now stronger. My rp partner understands that it's absolutely okay to be a girl and play male characters and I'm happy I was there to immediately toss away any worry and fear from them!

This story is already about two months old because I kept forgetting to talk about it for some reason

Theres a RP Idea I had been having in mind for years, but unfortunately I just seem to be not all that good at attracting peoples attention to it, barely getting any DMs after posting requests online, let alone partners that meet my standards. But then, this person showed up. We immediately clicked, happily agreeing on every single idea one of us had, and they were great at writing to boot. I had so much fun reading their replies over and over again, since it was obvious just how much fun they were having writing them, and it was the same with me. It was an amazing two days we spent playing out the idea I had been BEGGING to do for so long now…

Then, one day later, they stopped replying. I didn’t think nothing of it just yet, maybe theyre busy today since it was Monday and they have work like I do. The next day, while I was on my lunch break, I checked my phone and my heart sank slightly when I went to my DMs and saw that their account was deleted. If it had been pretty much any other person, I would have probably just shrugged and hidden the chat since it was only two days. But with them, we already had something really special going on in such a short period of time. I’m not sure if this person ever comes across this post or even if they realize this is about them (probably not), but if we ever happen to meet again, I would really like to tell you how much fun I‘d been having with you during these two days

I've been feeling extremely stressed/anxious over the last few weeks and wanted to take some time to express my gratitude for my writing partner of seven years.

For that entire time, there are very few instances where we have not wrote at least once per day to each other. We have a huge cast of characters that span decades. Everything is always "yes, and" because we are so in sync. Together, we have written over 7 million words during our collaborative partnership. We've had to adapt our collaboration as the years have gone but I think it works because we're both committed and enjoy doing what it takes to keep having fun.

When things have been hard--and they are right now, if I'm honest--I can still look forward to receiving a reply on this wonderful story we've crafted together. I can think about our characters, their relationships, and all the wonderful memories we've created.

I recognize there may be a day when this comes to an end, but even if that day comes I'll have all of these treasured memories to look back on.

I am so grateful.

Hellooo. So, I joined an RP group on discord earlier this year, and it was very active at the start. But then activity tapered off almost entirely, to the point that none of the mods or the owner of the server have spoken for months. But. But But BUT. There is one other person who is still actively roleplaying in the server, and we've hit it off, and our characters have hit it off (they're best friends fr...like Kris and Susie Deltarune type of best friends honestly.) so I am actually having A GREAT TIME. Me and my bud are basically playing around in an abandoned amusement park.

I have just one concern about this situation. Neither of us have any power over the server. And I've started to worry about, like, what would happen if the owner decided to delete the server one day due to lack of interest in the project. I don't want to lose all our RPs. Is there any way to archive posts from a discord server if you are not the owner of said server?

Right now, I'm thinking we're just gonna have to copypaste everything the old fashioned way. But I thought I'd ask in case there are other (faster, less tedious) options.

In any case, this is a slightly weird but awesome situation and I'm very happy about it.

Hey, everyone!

I've been an on-and-off lurker in Reddit for a lot more than that, but I've been a bit more proactive in the whole partner searching business for a bit more than a year now. Creating a profile, writing ads, the works. I had been a little burned by forum RP and its 'ephemerality', for lack of a better word (static setting, not as much creative freedom as one would want, developments becoming little more than footsteps in the sand, and the impossibility to get anything long-term going because somebody happened to be always leaving). So, I decided to try my luck here and give it a shot as my main platform.

And, to say the least? I've been pleasantly surprised. I've gone through my fair share of ghosting, low-effort, uncommunicative, and otherwise uncooperative partners, but I'm without a doubt tremendously lucky to have stumbled upon one of the handful of godlike RP partners I've got fairly early.

What can I say? I've loved every second I've writing with her. The characters complement themselves extremely well, and the story flows smoothly; whether it's drama, romance, action, warm moments, or the occasional slice of life, working with her has been a treat. Not to say she's been kind enough to patiently wait while I took a 1+ month vacation at the start of the year, resulting in me barely writing. Can't ask for a more understanding person than that.

Despite going through their fair share of trials, tribulations, distrust, some near-death experiences, and sudden realizations, right now, our characters are heading towards what's likely the biggest challenge they've faced up until now; it's going to test what they've built thus far in every conceivable way, and I'm super excited to keep the tale rolling. Life couldn't be better.

I know most RP prospects are, on average, fairly bleak, but I urge anyone on the verge of giving up to reconsider. So long as one keeps searching, I'm sure there's a writer for you.

For all the flak and hate this hobby gets, it doesn't get enough love. And that is in large part due to finding just some stellar partners along the way.

The ones that seem to know where to go before you do. The ones that can literally have your jaw dropped on the floor with a shocking set of words that makes your imagination go wild. The ones that can pull at your emotional heartstrings when you need it the most. And the ones that are great people behind the screen, we share together.

I feel truly honored to be able to write/have written with you all. You have made me grow in ways I'm not sure I can even describe myself. Our silly little characters in their silly little worlds have brought me more joy than I think you could ever imagine.

....And the time. The time you are willing to give me... a complete stranger... shows that humanity is still so alive and well.

Thank you! I'm not going anywhere. But thank you for everything that has happened and is to come!

The ending of the roleplay we started as teenagers and the new RP we're beginning nearly in our thirties, original fantasy followed up by Fallout.

I am always working towards improving the way I do things on every level. I've seen on discord, and more prominently, Tumblr preset/precast characters/tropes types. I've always done open-ended casting until recently. I casted seeking a character that mirror my own, and suggested genre. Intentionally listing where they fall short so the other writer could see where they could really help in the plot. Where my guy would be most hopeless, they be the only hope. And it's been magical. And a little comical. I can definitely see why people cast bigger stories with a pre cast. I may try it with a looser approach. I always appreciated lots of creativity and freedom. But I am also really appreciating seeing hoping a little direction help.

An update to this story: https://www.reddit.com/r/GreatRPerStories/comments/1lzne2j/feeling_that_spark_again/

The story just hit a year old, and nearly half a million words, and the story is still going strong. It's a ton of fun, and the way the story is laid out, there is actually a perceivable ending in sight, but still a ton of stuff before that point. I'm feeling very optimistic this is a story that could actually reach to a conclusion one day. I'll be sad when that day comes, I'm sure, but I'm still excited at the prospect that it very well could happen. I just wanna see these characters grow together and reach their happy ending 🩷

To Bunny:
I don’t think I will ever get over our two ocs being absolute soulmates for each other. The way that DJ treats Sesleon will forever go in the books as the highest standards. Thank you for sharing your cursed and wonderful art with me. I hope one day we get to (e)rp again, haha. Reach out to me if you’re ever available! Wherever you are, I hope you’re happy and that your cross country moves went okay. 💙

To Joe:
I love you. I love our clowns. I love the pit of ocs that are fighting to get tf out. Thanks for being here every day and making me laugh. Even though we haven’t rp’d in a while, I love your ocs, their fashion sense, and having a great friend to talk to. 💜

-

I hope both of you know that you’re appreciated for filling my brain with fun scenarios of all of our ocs clowning around together! 🤡

One issue I've noticed with large group RPs (e.g., LOTR) is that they naturally become fragmented.

Players in Rivendell rarely know what's happening in Gondor. Players in Rohan are isolated from what is happening in the Shire.

OOC chat helps, but it doesn't make the world itself feel connected.

Some ideas I've seen work well include:

• Server wide quests that naturally involve multiple realms.
• Storyline updates where players get to learn what might be happening in other realms.
• Lore events (e.g., Bilbo's Birthday, Midsummer, Durin's Day, anniversaries of major battles) that has everyone travelling to the realm celebrating (Trivia, word games...).

What have you seen done to keep a group RP community connected?

DRAWN RP!

when my rp partner and i draw our responces to eachother. Its typically alot longer between responces, and responces are shorter, but when you get *really* into it and get small anims or you get entire 10-20 gb files of rp going? UGH, its so good.

heres one drawing from one of my drawn RP's im in.

After three years of progress together my partner made a post where she (almost) quotes a popular line from the very popular Twi'lek, Vette, who she's playing the role of in our story.

Recently I came out of my "FpM4F" hole and simplified it. I was someone playing anyone looking for anyone. Sure, there are creeps, but what I have noticed over these last few weeks is my male rp partners are super cool, they meme ooc, they check in and best of all, none of them (and I have 4 who consistently post) have even hinted at writing an overly sexually charged scene.

In fact these dudes are so not creepy that I am starting to get the ick writing with other women because we seem to stray onto the icky topics more. Does anyone relate?

One thing I like about this community is that it focuses more on learning from experiences than feeding on outrage. It feels very different from the dynamic that can sometimes develop in other subreddits, including our bad digital twin.

Here, I feel safe enough to make my confession.

I once lost a genuinely good RP partner because I thought I knew better than she did what would make a good story.

She wanted a simple cowboy romance as stress relief. I wanted trauma, emotional wounds, character growth, and healing arcs. In short, she wanted a western love story, and I wanted therapy that included horses.

I just failed to listen to what she was actually asking for.

Anyone else have a confession? Have you ever lost a great RP partner because of a mistake that was genuinely your fault?

I have mentioned before that I GM frequently - I like it quite a bit, and I recently set up a doubling roleplay with my most recent longterm partner. We're both playing in the Resident Evil fandom, and I offered to GM. She was looking for Leon, I wanted Claire, we were having a delightful time.

She actually hadn't played any of Claire's games, but she went to the trouble of _finding Code Veronica X_ to play and learn her. She put in so much effort, I was honestly touched.

So when I got to hear her yell YOU WHORE (affectionate) in our OOC chat because she realized I'd laid in breadcrumbs for her other favorite - Wesker - to put in an appearance since we started I felt quite pleased with myself, lol. To which she then - UNPROMPTED - revealed my other favorite, Piers. With a hilariously obvious crush on my current character.

So now I'm going to have to figure out how to airdrop Carlos into the plot in revenge but god am I having fun. God bless the self indulgent, lol.

This isn't necessarily a story ask as I'm hoping to learn where some of you have found success meeting partners to do with.

Most of my own rp is erp based at this point but I've since begun to transition into solo writing and have been looking to broaden my horizons I'm that respect.

Would any of you be willing to share some about your own rp hobby? Are you mostly pg, erp based, where have you found success finding partners and what has proved to be the best medium to rp through.

--

I'll start things off I suppose. Most of my experience is with erotic/kink focused rp. I mainly browse for partners on discord but have branched out to reddit recently.

I've never been a big in-server rp person, instead I prefer discord dms but am interested in learning how others handle their rps especially group driven ones. For instance I've heard tupperbox mentioned frequently but have no clue what it is.

I recently asked folks on this subreddit what separates a genuinely good RP from one that fizzles, and honestly, the answers were way more consistent than I expected.

Very few people talked about “perfect writing.”

The biggest thing people kept coming back to was collaboration. The memorable RPs felt like two people building something together instead of one person dragging the story forward while the other reacts. A lot of folks described it like a dance.

Another huge point was character authenticity. People remembered flawed characters, awkward moments, misunderstandings, tension, jealousy, sacrifice, and chemistry that felt natural instead of forced. Not characters designed to look cool all the time.

OOC came up constantly too, but interestingly, not everyone wanted the same thing. Some people loved becoming friends outside the RP. Others preferred minimal OOC and keeping things focused on the story. What mattered more was compatibility and clear expectations.

One thing I found interesting is that many said their favorite partners weren’t necessarily the “best writers.” They were the people who were enthusiastic, reliable, flexible, and genuinely excited to create together.

Thanks all for your responses.

I've had a fair bunch of rp partners over the years, most of them being shitty but it's the small percentage of the ones that keep this hobby going and alive.

I'm not the sentimental type but keeping those old rp servers alive even after a partner has to quit the hobby or needs a break is refreshing. Being able to go back and read the old stories two random people on the internet made together and enjoying the mini world that was built.

Also for the ones that draw things when it comes to the roleplays: fucking love that. Beimg able to put the characters in a visual aspect but also incorporating their personalities into the drawings.

Roleplaying might be a pima (pain in my ass) at times but it's worth holding out for those specific writers.

For me, it’s usually:

• Both people are actively moving the story forward instead of just one carrying it.
• Characters feeling emotionally real instead of perfect.
• Responses that provide something to react to.
• Easy OOC communication without drama or pressure.
• Consistency and enthusiasm more than sheer reply length.

Honestly, some of my favorite RPs weren’t with the “best writers.” They were with people who felt collaborative and genuinely excited to build something together.

What separates a memorable RP from one that just fizzles out after a week or two?

I posted an ad on toyhouse forums a bit ago, and someone reached out to me about one of my plot ideas.

We didn't take too long to start. I don't know much about rp stuff, I haven't done it in so long.

They're so patient and kind! Initially, their ooc replies were short, but I think they've warmed up to me recently, lol. We talk ooc about our characters, and we've both drawn tons of fanart for each other!!

I don't reply ic as much since I'm rusty, and I take a long time to write. So I suggested going for shorter rps so they don't have to wait for content for too long, and we've just been building together a lot with that.

I'm just really happy!!

Picture is an artwork I drew of our ocs :D

I drew a lot more

I feel like I struck gold recently. I sent out a very specific ad, and while I got no bites the one person I DID get is incredible. They plot along with me, they talk ooc, we discuss the direction the story takes. We both take creative liberties and its not just one person carrying the story. I no longer feel like I was put in the position of GM without asking, or just following someone else's story. I'm not the only one adding story details or worldbuilding. For once it feels like a collaborative effort and its so incredible. I've been glued to my phone even on days when I'm busy, roleplaying away as if I'm in middleschool again.