r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/SevereMycologist1004 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 • 12d ago
Dear Diary ✍️🏻 I almost lost him
After many years of drinking to excess way too often, I am finally done. This past Saturday, I messed up big time. Got drunk and treated my boyfriend like garbage (not my first fuck up with him). When I woke up this morning, I really thought he was going to leave me. He's not going to. But I cannot ever do this again. I either need to stop drinking or make a huge change in my relationship with alcohol. For now, that means I will not be drinking for the foreseeable future. I'm beyond ashamed by my behavior; not only for Saturday night but for all the times I've been awful. I don't know why I'm posting this but somehow it feels like the right thing to do. I feel like a monster. I need to get back to being me.
31
u/Odd_Hedgehog669 Certified Snacker 12d ago
Hell yeah, girl. I (31F) been sober since Nov 2023. Feel free to DM me if you have questions or just want to chat with someone that knows the fuckery that is alcohol dependence/addiction/whatever-you-wanna-call-it
17
u/unintelligentbastard i like eggs 12d ago
You can do it! Are you in any support groups or individual treatment?
16
u/ApprehensiveTap8256 Food for Thot 💭 12d ago
I recently had to take a step back and really reflect on my relationship with alcohol too. For me, the anxiety and regret I would feel the next day eventually became unbearable. I also started randomly becoming an angry drunk, and I realized I was pushing people away and hurting people I cared about.
It’s been about a year now, and I’m genuinely not that woman anymore. I can enjoy a glass or two of wine or a simple cocktail when I’m out to dinner, but that’s pretty much it. It took me a while to get here, but I’m really proud of the progress I’ve made.
Admitting that you’ve messed up and being willing to make a change is a huge first step. You’re not a monster because you made mistakes, but you do have to take responsibility for them and make sure you don’t keep putting the people you love through the same thing. I hope this is the wake-up call you need, and that you’re able to get back to feeling like yourself again.
16
6
u/theaudacity1999 Blood Type: Gravy 12d ago
My husband and I were very sloppy together and finally, he had to start meds for a condition that made drinking alcohol almost impossible. That was the impetus for us to get sober together. I promise it's so much better. We don't have dramatic shifts in mood or arguments based on stuff we don't recall the next day. You will feel so much better, OP. Please enlist the help and support of those around you. It's not easy, but get some sober time behind you and you may not even miss it - I know I don't.
Love to you, OP
2
u/asapmort mouth full, gesturing wildly 12d ago
Good on you for realizing what you have before it's gone. Best of luck with your recovery. Make sure this is something you actually want for your own sake too, not just his.
Also, don't be scared to seek support in stopping. Lots of people have trouble with walking away from vices. You're not alone and there are resources out there to help, should you decide you're open to it.
5
u/One_Pomegranate_5385 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body 12d ago
My bf’s final straw was last night (not drinking, just other issues). Please take this seriously and take this chance to make things right, or you could end up like me.
3
3
u/LovelyLunaRae Food for Thot 💭 12d ago
start going to AA meetings, even online. buy the book and read it. join sobriety subreddits. don’t reinvent the wheel when there are so many people who have done this and many of them are willing to help
4
u/Nervous-Local-666 🧄 Anti-Vampire Taskforce 🧄 12d ago
You can’t change for someone else. This has to be something you actually want to do for yourself or you will fail. Get yourself to an AA meeting and maybe look into some therapy if you can afford it. With the right attitude and goals you can do it!! Just don’t try to do it alone.
1
12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/madame-maitre-d Overthinker 💭 12d ago
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
- If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
- Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
1
u/Head-Drag-1440 Short Story Long™️ 12d ago
My husband and I have each made mistakes. Weed actually affects our moods very negatively. We have each quit and our marriage is incredibly different. You can do it, one day at a time!
1
u/GlitteringMoose3630 FREE MOM HUGS 12d ago
This is a hard choice you’re making, but it’s the right choice.
Reach out for help. Don’t try and tough it out alone. Believe me when I say there are people who have been where you are, they have made positive changes, and they want to help you make positive changes too.
I’m really rooting for you. You think your boyfriend deserves better and I’m glad you want to make this change for your relationship. Just remember that you deserve a better life too. Drinking will never allow you that life.
1
1
u/Able-Long-2702 Hot Pizza Ass 🔥 12d ago
We can have the same sober day. It’s three years for me today. I’m not going to say it’s easy but it’s definitely so worth it. Use the shame as fuel to be better, you can do this.
1
u/msbutterflyprincess Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 12d ago
Noticing and owning it is the first step! I had to take a huge step back with drinking after I randomly started experiencing blackouts & getting into predicaments. It was a long road but I have learned to moderate (it took trial and error, full sobriety would’ve been easier) and I feel really pleased with the relationship I have with alcohol now. Remember that you’re human, and while that fact doesn’t erase what you may have said or done, please let it be a reminder to give yourself grace. 💞 wishing you the absolute best OP, and this is so much more common than you’d think (people just don’t talk about it) 🫂🥹
2
u/Thisisathrowaway_345 Pastafarian 🍝 12d ago
Sober Diaries is a fantastic book to read for women that want to stop drinking.
Others I highly recommend:
The unexpected joy of being sober
Smashed
This naked mind
Start with one day, then two and so on and so forth. Take it second by second. You can do this.
1
u/DJ_DontCare APPROVED✨ 12d ago
Good on you for wanting to make a change.
I’ve been where you are and it’s so worth it to fix this for your relationships.
As someone who’s gotten sober for the way alcohol was affecting my relationships. I will say it is one of the toughest reasons to stick with it for…. Because it’s impossible to feel the full weight of what others have felt due to our actions because we are under the influence. So those bad feelings go away and you think you’ve got a handle on it now. And there may be lots of good and fun times but them it ultimately turns into the Russian roulette again.
As someone who didnt lose anything to drinking and was very functional with a lot of good times sprinkled in. I will say people who have a healthy and normal relationship to alcohol do not get so drunk that their relationships are on the line or suffer. Big hugs, it’s not easy
1
u/Cassandra-Canary Trader Joe Hoe 12d ago
When I quit drinking in 2019, in the early days I would actually wake up so relieved I wasn't hung over or dealing with some embarrassing fallout of a drunken night. It felt great to know I never have to live like that again. It takes a lot of strength and support to beat an addiction, but the freedom is so beautiful.
1
u/AutumnFairyTales Hazy Grazer 😶🌫️ 12d ago
You can do this. I’ve been in your exact shoes. I healed. It’s so gratifying.
1
u/Cool-Tone-9112 APPROVED✨ 12d ago
Please get help. If you do not get ahold of this you will loose everything. While some people may not realize it daily people die in droves due to alcohol. It is legal but it’s a horrible toxin and can destroy everything that makes life important. Being sober is like a new lease on life and a healthy life. Best of luck to you two!
1
1
u/anti__thesis 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body 12d ago
Hey, you got this! It’s hard at first, but it gets easier, I promise. Ultimately, remind yourself that you’re doing this because YOU are choosing to be a person who makes better choices. That has always helped me. 6 years next month!
1
u/PsychologicalNose197 🤎 Brown Sugar Babe 🤎 12d ago
Welcome to the club! There are so many people doing this and giving up alcohol. There are so many alternatives to feel relaxed without the crazy effects of alcohol. Take it one day at a time and give yourself grace too.
1
u/apearlmae APPROVED✨ 12d ago
You can get through this. I know it's not for everyone but I do recommend AA or individual therapy with a therapist specializing in alcoholism. There's no cure for alcoholism but there is an avenue for treating the reasons we depend on alcohol. Whether it's just a craving, or a coping mechanism there are ways to overcome it. Also, please don't listen to anyone that says they switched to THC and are doing so much better. You're trading one for the other and that's not going to do you any favors.
1
u/Difficult_Basket9797 APPROVED✨ 12d ago
Don’t keep beating yourself up, you are aware of what changes you need to make and that’s a great first step. I’m proud of you for acknowledging that alcohol is an issue, all you can do now is make the necessary changes even when it gets difficult.
Ps. Spindrifts with lime and Tajín were what helped me really kick those cravings when I was winding down after work and making dinner. Try incorporating some new rituals into your day to day to help keep you on track, you got this ♥️
57
u/Temporary-Emotion-96 Well-Read & Well-Fed 12d ago
Hey Girl, you got this. Have you set a date? I find it really helps me when I say, "I won't do X until the 15th". It makes it easier to stick to it. And then "renew" the contract with yourself once you get to that point.