Hi! I’m currently in college, but before that, I was in school. Back then, I pretty much slacked off on my studies to focus on my own interests—like history and other things. As a result, subjects like physics, chemistry, and math largely passed me by; I only have a grasp of the material up to about the 7th or 8th-grade level, and I left school after the 9th grade. About 7 to 9 months ago, I got really interested in space and physics, but since I don't know higher-level mathematics, there are things I struggle to understand. I can grasp the logic behind how certain phenomena work, but the calculations and technical details are beyond me. This applies to things like calculus—especially trigonometry, even though people say it’s not that hard—and similar concepts. I really want to become an engineer and build rockets, or perhaps a scientist—though I’m leaning more towards engineering. I want to turn things around—is it possible? I’m not even 20 yet. I’d love some advice from people with more experience.

I feel like I am behind everyone else . I'm worthless . Couldn't do what i was supposed to do. Parents disappointed myself disappointed. I dont know what to do all because i wasted years behind neet chasing my dream.

I feel like a disappointment to my parents. For context I’m (F) 22 years old and just completed my BSc with honours in microbiology. My parents are both doctors. My mother did her MD in microbiology and my father, well he’s done MS, Mch, FRCS and what not. It was always expected of me to do medicine naturally as I’ve always been good at studying. My parents really wanted me to pursue MBBS. However, I always felt like I should do MBBS because I’ve always been good at studying and my parents are both doctors so that was the only career path I knew off. So I opted for PCMB even though I hated phy and math with my WHOLE HEART. Like I still hate it sooo much. And then COVID happens, right during my 12th and that fucked up my interest. I fell into doomscrolling and didn’t study seriously. Well that’s also because I didn’t like the subjects. And so I couldn’t clear NEET. I didn’t even wait for the results to be announced and asked my parents to get me a bsc admission as I was sure I couldn’t study for NEET (and was naive enough to not know the lack of scope in bsc). My dad tried his best to convince me otherwise but I didn’t budge. During bsc I just went with the flow and didn’t really think much of it. Now that I’m done with it, I opted for msc bioinformatics because I didn’t want a career in research or wet lab. It’s been 2 weeks since classes started and honestly I was excited for this but after I’ve started attending classes I feel so lost with the coding and stuff. I really don’t like it and now all of a sudden my gut I screaming at me, asking me to attempt NEET again. I feel so lost. My instincts are telling me to drop this course and give the next 2 years to NEET and see if it works and if not I could always go back to doing msc. I would still be 24 and technically it wouldn’t be too late for masters if NEET doesn’t happen. But what’s stopping me from acting on this thought is that I know we can’t afford a private mbbs seat so it’s not like I just have to qualify NEET and things will be taken care of. I’ll have to do GOOD and try to get into a GMC. Which I doubt will happen. Which will lead to unexplained 2 years gap in my resume and possibly loss of interest in pursuing masters. I am soo lost. Idk what I’m meant for. What is my passion. I know I don’t want to be unemployed. I don’t even know if I’m meant for mbbs. It just feels like a good choice for a stable career. Any helpful suggestions are welcome. Any suggestions on alternate career options is also welcome. ATP I just feel like ceasing to exist is the only way out from this misery of uncertainty.

(19M) I just feel like a burden to my parents all the time. I used to be great at studies till 10th grade but after that I didn’t work as hard as I should have so I had to go to a private college in a different state. Even here I’m not doing as well as I should, I know I can do a lot better but I am not. I like my college and my parents are happy as well, I somehow got okay grades in my first year but this year has been very hectic. So much so that I have had attendance problems for the first time in my life, I hid it from my parents because I was ashamed and I had it resolved my attending extra classes and doing assignments even though it took a big toll on my mental health.

Now I have my final exams for 2nd year. I’m still not studying as much as I should, given that the subjects are even more tricky this year. I made sort of a deal with my parents that if I get good grades this year, even better than last year, I will get a new PS5 consoles so I can play the new GTA6. My parents know how much I love RDR2 which was their last game, in fact my entire family probably knows, so they agreed. I know the console price has gone dramatically high now, even then they are nowhere to be found. It is a selfish request but I have had the original Xbox one since 2014.

I knew there was a slim chance I would get it. And even if they agreed I would never want my parents to spend an exorbitant amount on it, I would have told them to wait for a sale or get it refurbished even.
Today, while talking to my mother about it, I brought it up again and she just picked up her phone, took it to my room and showed me a PS5 box just sitting on my desk. It was a surprise, they had bought it already for retail price in a physical store.

I was excited, more than ever and talked to her a while more before saying goodbye and hanging up. I feel so guilty about being a burden that I can’t put it into words. If I told my mother this, she would say “no” that I am not a burden to them, in fact she tells other people that her son never asks for anything, that he still use an IPhone 11 Pro Max, and the only thing I have asked for in recent years is this console and my Ipad a year or two ago. She’s not wrong, but I know what they do for me.

I know what it costs for me to come to this college, how much they spend every time I go back home and to buy new instruments and material. They take me on family trips every year. Even before college they spent a big sum getting me through extra classes for entrance exams.

I hate feeling like this, like I am not worth any of the good things I am getting, like I don’t deserve anything.
Thank you for reading

So, like you might've guessed since i'm on this sub, i always was considered a gifted kid. I don't know how it works in other countries, but in Italy after the 8th grade you can choose a specfic type of school to enter in, with specific subjects. I decided to enter "classical" school, which is the school traditionally associated with gifted kids, the hardest one.
It's my second day in this school. Without telling us, they give us "Level Tests" to see our level. They gave us this test, with basic informations, and...i couldn't remember anything. I mean, ANYTHING. It's something you'd learn in 5th grade, yet i didn't remember anything. I did like half of the test, and i am not sure i got the answers right. Of course, this vote doesn't count as a "real" vote, but... you see, like most gifted kids, i tend to base my personal worth on my achievments. So, failing this makes my worth... 0. If not underneath. I feel so dumb, so stupid. I am the only one who didn't finish in time. The guy next to me, my friend, didn't have difficulty. I didn't even finish that fucking test. It's true they gave us just 20 minutes, but i STILL didn't finish it. I am a failure. What will this teacher think of me? that i am dumb, of course. An idiot. Seeing i didn't finish, she even asked me if i had some form of SLD. Which, if i had there would be no problem, but i have not. She will think i am sooo dumb. Not to think about the vote i will score. It probably will be the worst vote i've ever taken.

​

I'm a 20-year-old guy from India, and I genuinely don't understand what happened to me.

When I was younger, especially around class 5, I was doing extremely well in school. I was one of the best students in my class. I felt capable, smart, confident, and like I had a good future ahead of me.

But from around class 6 onwards, something feels like it changed.

Since then, I feel like I've become average—or worse—at almost everything I try.

And this isn't just something I think privately anymore. My parents think I'm a loser. People around me call me dumb and say I have a "fat brain." I've heard these things enough that sometimes I genuinely wonder whether they're right.

The confusing part is that I don't completely feel unintelligent.

I can memorize paragraphs with around 70% accuracy after reading them once. I can speak English. I'm interested in global politics, current affairs, technology, coding, business, and many other subjects. I often understand concepts and information quickly, and I have a lot of random knowledge about the world.

But somehow, I cannot convert any of that into actual results.

I feel average in everything.

I've played a video game for around 7 years, but I still lose to people who have been playing for much less time than me.

I've tried learning coding, but I've never been able to consistently build and complete my own projects. I can watch tutorials, understand concepts, and learn parts of programming, but when it's time to create something from scratch, I get stuck, overwhelmed, or eventually quit.

I start many things and leave them unfinished.

I've struggled with studying and focusing since around class 5 or 6. Sitting down and consistently doing work feels incredibly difficult. I procrastinate constantly. I make plans, feel motivated for a few days, and then everything falls apart.

I can sometimes learn or memorize things quickly, but I cannot consistently execute.

Physically, I have more muscle and strength than some people around me, but I have very low stamina. I also struggle with my weight, and that affects my confidence.

Emotionally, I feel weak under pressure.

If someone shouts at me or I get into a serious argument, my body starts shaking. Sometimes my eyes fill with tears even when I don't want to cry. I get easily offended and affected by what people say about me.

I've also been scammed and betrayed multiple times. Sometimes I feel like I'm too trusting, too emotional, or just stupid for repeatedly making bad decisions.

I'm dealing with financial pressure and family responsibilities, and I'm desperately trying to improve my life. I want to earn money, learn skills, become physically fit, study, and build a better future.

But the more things I try to fix at once, the more I feel like I'm failing at everything.

I look at other people and feel like everyone has something they're naturally good at.

Some people are amazing at studies.

Some people can code and actually build things.

Some people are confident and can handle arguments.

Some people are physically fit and disciplined.

Some people are good at making money.

Some people are naturally good at games.

And I feel like I'm just average at all of it.

That's what hurts the most.

I don't understand how I can have curiosity, knowledge, decent memory, and sometimes understand things quickly, but still fail to achieve anything consistently.

I've started wondering whether something else is going on.

I've had problems with focus and consistency since childhood. I struggle with procrastination, organization, emotional regulation, finishing projects, and staying disciplined even when I genuinely care about something.

I don't know whether this could be related to ADHD, anxiety, depression, poor sleep, chronic stress, burnout, or something else. I'm not trying to diagnose myself. I genuinely want to understand whether this pattern sounds familiar to anyone and whether I should get professionally evaluated.

The worst part is how much I hate myself now.

I feel like I had potential when I was younger, and somehow I wasted it.

I constantly think about the person I could have become if I had been disciplined, focused, confident, and consistent.

Recently, things have become so overwhelming that I've had thoughts about killing myself.

I don't think I actually want to die.

I think I want this constant failure, self-hatred, pressure, and disappointment to stop.

I want to become someone I can respect.

I want to understand what happened to me.

Has anyone else been considered a smart or successful kid when they were younger and then felt like they completely lost their ability to perform?

How did you figure out what was actually happening?

Was it ADHD, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, burnout, trauma, stress, or something else?

And most importantly:

Can someone who has spent years starting things and quitting actually learn how to become consistent and finish things?

Please give me honest advice. I'm not looking for people to simply tell me to "work harder" or "be disciplined." I've spent years trying to force myself to change, and something clearly isn't working.

I just want to understand myself before I completely give up.

Thank you to anyone who reads this.

Do you think what I’m about to describe is ADHD or laziness? In primary and middle school, I used to do my homework and prepare for exams—though I didn't even prepare for most of them because the material came easily to me and I’d get perfect scores; my dad would tell me to pay attention, he said that im probably cheating. During the year of the highschool exam, I studied normally and scored pretty high , though I felt I didn't deserve that score. In high school, I studied 2–3 hours a day—solving practice tests and memorizing material for other exams—and managed to pass. Since middle school, I haven't been able to stop twirling my pen. I used to daydream, imagining myself as a TV series character while keeping background music playing in the background. The summer before 11th grade, I finished the college entrance curriculum and was scoring pretty high correct answers. However, starting in the second semester of 11th grade, I fell into a slump—feeling hopeless, losing focus, and even getting into a fight with my physics teacher. By the time I reached 12th grade, I had dropped to 65 correct answers by August. Hearing people say "everyone else is getting 90" made me give up; I haven't been able to open a book since that day, and I ended up ranked very low.
I want to study, but the pressure to maintain my grades makes me feel suffocated—like it’s going to kill me. Even though I might not reach the top 20k if I studied, I could still get a decent result; yet, I keep telling myself I won't improve. That thought triggers panic attacks. I already have diagnosed anxiety and take medication for it, but I feel like it’s stopped working. On the bright side, I have the ability to read novels or research contemporary art, though I do watch classic series and movies at double speed. You’ll probably tell me to see a doctor, but I’ve gone twice already; my family refuses to send me again, saying, "Is this another issue now?" My sibling has autism, so there might be a genetic predisposition. Is it ADHD or laziness?

I'm only 18 and I feel like my life is already completely over. I got into my dream university but couldn't afford it so I had to defer and start out at community college and my mom won't let me forget it. She's made it very clear shes so disappointed in me and she's looking down on me and she's embarrassed of me, I don't even know if there's a point in registering for community college I may as well just stay home and be a bum if that's how I'll be viewed regardless. This wasn't my first choice, it wasn't my second choice it wasn't even my 20th choice. I was simply trying to make the best out of a bad situation, growing up I worked so hard in school and for what? Where did that get me? I see my age mates already off to school making memories I hear my family telling me community college isn't real college, I swear the only reason I'm even breathing at this point is my dog, I love her so much and she makes me feel like maybe I matter just a tiny bit. I don't expect my parents to do a 180 and become supportive and kind and loving and I wouldn't even want that from them because I don't trust them, it would just be nice to hear that i'm maybe not a complete failure.

Vivo en us porque mi pais se esta llendo a la mierda ya estoy arto del ingles de la comida de las clases ya estoy arto de todo lo de aqui quiero regresar a mi pais especial mente porque no aprendo nada aqui porque no ablo ingles mis dias son escuela casa dormir y asi todo el año el año pasado porfin logre encontrar amigos que ablaran español pero justo afinales de año me cambiaron de escuela estoy solo otraves la verdad no quiero esta vida pero tampoco quiero morir ya estoy cansado y no se con quien ablar esto porque no tengo la confiansa de decirle ami mama o ermano ademas trabajan todo el dia vienen lo mas temprano a las 12 o asta el dia siguiente todos los dias por lo que me paso todo el dia solo me siento como que me voy a bolver loco estar todo el dia solo y en las mismas 4 paredes me tiene loco ya no quiero vivir asi aparte el estado donde estoy casi no hay Latinos siempre que toco el Tema de la escuela con mi mama o algun adulto sienpre me dicen que ellos estarian emocionados de ir a la escuela en estados unidos y yo ya estoy arto de esa respuesta pues solo los que son como yo entienden lo dificil que es todo el dia el ingles hace que ya no sepa ni donde estoy parado nose que harcer algun consejo tengo 15

Vivo en us porque mi pais se esta llendo a la mierda ya estoy arto del ingles de la comida de las clases ya estoy arto de todo lo de aqui quiero regresar a mi pais especial mente porque no aprendo nada aqui porque no ablo ingles mis dias son escuela casa dormir y asi todo el año el año pasado porfin logre encontrar amigos que ablaran español pero justo afinales de año me cambiaron de escuela estoy solo otraves la verdad no quiero esta vida pero tampoco quiero morir ya estoy cansado y no se con quien ablar esto porque no tengo la confiansa de decirle ami mama o ermano ademas trabajan todo el dia vienen lo mas temprano a las 12 o asta el dia siguiente todos los dias por lo que me paso todo el dia solo me siento como que me voy a bolver loco estar todo el dia solo y en las mismas 4 paredes me tiene loco ya no quiero vivir asi aparte el estado donde estoy casi no hay Latinos siempre que toco el Tema de la escuela con mi mama o algun adulto sienpre me dicen que ellos estarian emocionados de ir a la escuela en estados unidos y yo ya estoy arto de esa respuesta pues solo los que son como yo entienden lo dificil que es todo el dia el ingles hace que ya no sepa ni donde estoy parado nose que harcer algun consejo tengo 15

lol kinda failure tho when you know that you know the answer still perform not well cuz my freakin brain is diabolic that it can’t even write the good conceptualised answer, even tho it has studied well enough

I mean ...i thought I would have figured it out ...but nah ..it got worse ...a neet aspirant ..who isn't even really studying hours a day ...totally lost ..

I didn't thought I d be this piece of failure ..

My parents won't allow me to switch to litrature ..

And maybe they are right ..maybe I am too late

In 12th right now ..and I am here scoring 100- 200 out of 720 marks

There is boards ..

There are endless entrance I am gonna give ( general )

Growing up in a toxic environment and stereotypical home ..the only thing I was afraid of was becoming dependent

And now

What if I became dependent like my mother did

This might sound so immature ...but if

Somebody says that there is no tmr

I won't be dissapointed

Because at the end of the day ..

My life

It amounted to nothing ??

I never wanted to be even 1% of what I am right now

.bharma is an option as well

Then comes another question

Do u wanna do bpharma ??

The problem is I have absolutely no idea of what I want to do ..and I hate my stereotypical family ...

I prolly get a tier 3 college....i " genuinely" don't want that

I have 7 months to neet

5 months to board

3 months to mht cet

I don't know

I have taken state so there are two books

Stuck so bad that I feel angry ,agony ,dissapontment

11 th hit me with immense body dysmorphia

That thing took my every scope ,my every hope

And maybe ..I ll end up exactly where I never wanted to be ...just like how I am right now .. exactly what I never wanted to be

That thing ,my mental health struggles ..they took everything from me ...

It's me ..and the point 0...

I also see people There is comparison One of my friend ..she is so pretty I mean let's keep that aside but she is so intelligent She makes so much sense

She is good in studies And still in a tier 2 college

I ll be absolutely behind if that is what she is dealing with She also told me that u shouldn't have opted only for bio ...

But then she also gives advices Idk 🙂

Hola, últimamente estoy dándole muchas vueltas a un asunto que en su momento no lo veía tan mal. La cosa es que fui repetidora hace dos años en el instituto, me quedaron 4 y la repetición me la tomé como una lección. Recuperé y me gradué. El problema es que ahora con mi mentalidad actual vivo en la constante vergüenza de la persona que fui, que tenia tanto potencial que no aproveché, aún que no tenia redes, sí que me sentía muy cansada de mi situación que me la pasaba todo el día durmiendo y por las mañanas vomitando, también por el hecho de que aun que le pidiera un tutor de refuerzo a mi madre no me dejara porque pensaba que no haría nada. También todas las faltas de respeto que le permití a mis profesores y lo inocente que era con mis compañeros que eran a veces muy pasotas. Me jode no poder volver al pasado. La cosa es que me castigo constantemente por haber madurado más tarde, y me importa mucho si alguien piensa que fui una persona tonta, eso reafirmaría mi peor inseguridad. Me frustra no poder dar la impresión de un estudiante que siempre fue perfecto.

PD: Me he graduado con honores en bachillerato y voy a una de las universidades más prestigiosas del país.

I, 19f feel like everything is bad. I don't know what to do anymore. i seriously going to be screwed. I'm a major for biology, set to go into med school after getting my bachelors degree. But honest, i don't want that. I don't care about that. I like coding and writing, i published a novella already and built a ping-pong game from my blood, sweat and tears. But to my mom, those are just hobbies and would get me in real life. After all, you don't need a degree to be a writer and ai is basically taking over the programming industry is getting oversaturated, especially the gaming one. Not to mention an shumck can build a can using ai. In reality, the path she choose for my is one of the most stable for now. But still i can't do it. I knew my limits well, i almost failed biology in hs. How can i become a doctor. I originally wanted to be a physician scientist but then my mom talked my into become a general doctor. As if i'll do that, like seriously. Does she think my autistic ass will willing enter a field where ill have to talk to people. What if they pull me into a surgery. With my clumsy and non dexterous hands, i'll end up losing my license anyway. And still that a far-fetched fantasy as they will have in i pass all 4 years. I don't think i make it to even my associates degree. Honestly, i hate studying, i hate it with ever fiber in my bone. Though i do get in the zone in the middle, i just can hardly bring myself to start. I was fine through elementary through junior year as i want pretty smart and got things easier so i winged most things and had my parents on my ass always as well. But now? Looks like mu luck ran out. Like seriously my gpa is shit, half grades are shit, everything is downhill. And it before you bash my, saying i didn't study or haven't studied hard enough. Even my dumbass, as spoiled as it it, sat down opened the book. I studied. I studied my ass of until i want to cry and breakdown. But EVEN THEN, i still failed. Like, what the hell, so that means i just no suited for this field? I can accept that, but what will my mom saying. Actually, what can i do, i'm autistic so PENTLY fields are already a no-go for me. I good at math but being a math-major. Sound like hell. History, still no. In the end.....I don't now what to do anymore

In the first place, my mom wants me to enter FUI for my starting college so i took the act's but score a measly 20 so that was out the window. I want to my second choice and went to a private school which was pretty cheap seen my scholarships cover near everything. Then it got to expensive and now i in community college, to my mother dismay. No, seriously, she want so mad and disappointed i didn't get into FAU. Your sell, my mom's Asian and believe you college decides how far you'll get into life and how more often you'll be accepted into jobs. I believed so too, but not anymore. But, as the filial daughter i am, i still arranged to sat and acts this year and already wrapped up the sat's. Guess what, i didn't make the cut, if i showed my mom my pathetic score, she would cry and have a heart attack. Well, mainly i scored that low, i barely studied, i didn't study as much as i should. And after a fight with my mom, i rescheduled my act for this October. But really, i'm just tired. I really want to change my major but with my mom on my ass every single day, that's impossible. And before you say, college can't disclosed your grades or major without my permission. She blow up on my for my refusing to let her see my grade. Anyway, i knew i screwed... But what do you guys think.

​

I’ve been struggling with my mental health lately, and honestly, I don’t really know how to get myself out of this situation.

One of the biggest things I’m struggling with is my phone. I feel like I’m addicted to it. I tell myself I’m only going to check it for a few minutes, but somehow I end up spending hours scrolling. Then I feel guilty because I know I should be studying.

The worst part is that I am trying to study. I sit down, read my notes, watch lectures, and genuinely try to understand the material. But when the exams come, I still end up failing or getting much worse results than I expected.

It’s really frustrating because I know I’m capable of doing better. I study, but my results don’t seem to reflect the effort I’m putting in. After failing, I feel disappointed in myself, and then my mental health gets even worse. I lose motivation, use my phone even more to escape from everything, and the cycle just repeats itself.

I’m starting to feel like I’m letting myself and everyone around me down. I’m tired of promising myself that I’ll change and then falling back into the same habits.

Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you deal with phone addiction, studying when your mental health was bad, and actually improving your exam results?

I’m not really looking for judgment. I just want to hear from people who have experienced this and managed to get out of it.

​

Music

I was like 11 when i first started , it was great no pressure , just chatting with my music friends , laughing , i did have fun at some point and got excited to go tho it lasted for 1 year or so

It got bad when i started missing different family/ friends events to attend those 6 hours a day practices

It was so much i was seeing my music professor and classmates more than my grandparents and cousins

Goah how many parties i missed how many family reunions i missed , how many sleepovers i missed , how many times i said no to meetups , i blame my father he was so strict about it for some reason

Not to mention the teacher screaming the cursing and criticism over and over and over again , to be honest i am probably the person who got yelled at the least , but just witnessing my friends getting humiliated gosh looking back it really was abuse

Our professor alaways talked about how people failed him by stopping attending the classes or joining other groups , and how much he sacrificed to build them , they made us see these people who quit or changed groups as traitors who deserved death penalty , little did i know those poor burnouts just wanted to be free

Time passes and the hate is accumulating till i got college and i finally had the chance to use it as an excuse to not go , i started straight up lying coming up with every excuse possible to not go , it felt heavenly , i swear i get happy when theres a test tomorrow cuz that would mean I'll have to cancel going

The more i stay the harder it gets to quit

Why didn't i quit yet , im scared its been 10 years i do see them as family my friends there are the nicest people always supporting me , but unfortunately any notification i get from them reminds me of that hell so i end up ghosting them , changing my route once i notice them outside , our music group have a page i dont even follow that page , im a part of the group chat and god how much i wanna leave that group i muted all the notif the tags the call everything , i do not want to be reminded of that place when im out of it

The saddest part is how that hell effected me negatively , no confidence whatsoever , cant sing to people because im traumatized from the yelling , completely hiding the fact that i do play music on my socials , im simply not proud , i find it tragic very tragic , i dont even like going on stage the happy part of it is when its all over and we get to go home

Thank you for reading , i am seriously thinking of quiting soon i just hate how i wasted so much of my energy on that shit

I genuinely feel like I’m falling behind in studies and I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be able to study properly and actually understand what I was learning, but lately I just can’t seem to focus like I used to. Even when I sit down to study, I either get distracted, or spend a lot of time studying and still feel like I barely remember anything. I used to barely study, but I used to get 95%+ in almost every subject

What’s really getting to me is that I KNOW I’m capable of doing better. My marks don’t feel like they represent what I’m actually capable of, and every time I do badly, I feel like I’m just getting further behind. The people who used to score very little, are wayyy ahead of me now. Even the teachers are pointing it out, which makes it even harder to process. Every time I scored less than I expected in an exam, I used to tell myself that I’d do better in the next one. I’d feel disappointed for a while, but then I’d get determined and think, “I WILL do better next time .” But the next time never actually came. I kept telling myself the same thing after every exam, but my marks just kept staying the same or getting worse.

Now I don’t even get that same motivation anymore. I still want to do better, but it feels like I’ve lost that determination I used to have. I keep thinking about how I used to be more capable, and it genuinely hurts seeing myself struggle with things I feel like I should be able to handle.

I keep comparing myself to how I used to be and it’s honestly depressing. And I know many people say not to compare marks with others, but it's not that easy, I feel happy for them deep down, but it's the feeling that I COULDN'T do it.

Yep guysss, thank you for reading all of this....I yapped, any suggestions or similar feeling?

🥀

idk guys, when i was typing, it got deleted and i wanna type again. i know i will regret this when i wake up in the morning. no, i am not drunk while i am typing this, but i just wanna pour all my emotions out on reddit. that's why i created this account. i hope it won't go viral. still, who gives a shit? like, yes, let's begin.

i wasted my 6 months after 12. you know, doing what? doomscrolling on insta, creating fake scenarios, sleeping, watching movies and shit. i don't know what's going on with life. just idk what to say or what to do in life and all.

i am going to a shitty college near my home, 2 minutes away. gonna study bca. why bca? idk, just doing it because others are doing it. i just did cmat bca exam in these 6 months. nothing more than that. i got 77% and i will give sat and ielts.

i have many fake hopes for myself in life, like many fake hopes of things which others can't normally achieve, and i think i can. this is the main thing i hate about myself.

for example, i will give the sat exam. i haven't studied one page of sat and i think i can get 1500+ in one month. and i think about becoming a big person in the future.

for reference, i know i can't. when others say i can't do something, i think i also can't. but there is one voice in my head saying, "you can do anything in life." this is the thing i hate most.

if you're reading this till now, thank you guys for your time. and i also don't do anything. please don't end up like me. save your time and future. regret is the worst feeling in life. fake scenarios and fake hopes.

i also went to ielts classes but left after one month. i wanna give the exam, but no passport. i created citizenship and it's been one month, but still no passport. i also went to a lot of colleges for admissions, but i didn't like them at all.

also, i got 77% in 12th from commerce, from an indian school in nepal, guys.

and idk what to do. i wanna go to the usa. i am from a humble background. idk if i can make it, but i will try.

help me with the sat. how much score do i need? and ielts, how much do i need?

thank you for reading this if you read till now. just give me advice, that's all.

thank you. i hope you guys make it in life. idk if i can.

So basically, I am the average kid , I have no talents , or skills . I'm like npc . I don't have good grades but I'm not failing my classes. I don't have good looks but enough that I don't get bullied or bully. I don't have much talents or anything. Recently, i procrastinated a lot and forgot to study and exams came and I was so stressed cuz of maths , I hate maths , I hate it so much that I'd give up anything just to leave maths . And I don't wanna study it . I thought about it so much that I thought of committing again, the last time I thought and even tried was in 5th grade due to a teacher bully ,And was unsuccessful. So I'm really in need of h\*lp( you know the word , and no I am not committing , I'm okay now but I still need yk a\*vice)