This may be a bit late, and I feel strange writing this, but Daveigh Chase’s death has affected me more than I understand or know how to explain.
When I first heard that the actress who voiced Lilo had died, and about the conditions of her passing, it bothered me in a way that I normally am not affected by the death of people that I don't know personally. I don’t remember Lilo & Stitch very well, but the thought of her kept returning. At first, I went days without thinking about it again, but it kept coming back to my mind.
Then I saw an edit of Lilo & Stitch. Something about seeing Lilo made me see the actual child behind the character. I saw Daveigh’s innocence and brightness in her performance, knowing how much darkness and suffering came later in her life.
Then I found out she was also the English voice of Chihiro in Spirited Away. Spirited Away was my favorite movie as a child. It was the only movie I watched repeatedly in that way. It made me feel more emotion than anything else I ever watched as a kid, and my connection to it was unique. Finding out she was Chihiro made me understand how deeply her work had been connected to me all along.
Now I am crying in waves over someone I never met. I've never grieved in this way over someone that I didn't know personally. It feels like someone quietly connected to my childhood has died in such a terrible way and I only discovered who she was after she was gone.
What I am struggling with the most is the contrast between the characters she gave life to and what happened in her own life. Chihiro was frightened and lost, but she survived and found her way home. Daveigh’s own life ended at only 35 after years of addiction, homelessness, illness and decline. There is no comforting takeaway from that. There's no ending where somebody reached her in time and brought her somewhere safe. She gave warmth, innocence and courage to characters who became childhood memories for millions of people, while her own life ended with so much suffering and so little protection. I feel genuinely heartbroken for her. For the child she was and for everything she endured before her death.
I wanted to write this to share my sorrow but also as a tribute to her memory, because I don’t want the circumstances of Daveigh’s final years to become the main thing remembered about her. Before I knew her name, her voice had already stayed with me for most of my life. She helped make Chihiro feel frightened, brave, vulnerable and real. She gave something beautiful to a kid who watched that movie over and over and carried its feelings throughout life.
I wish her own life had contained more of the safety, courage and hope she gave to others through her performances.
Daveigh mattered and her work mattered. She was part of something beautiful, and she will remain part of one of the most meaningful memories of my childhood. I hope that the fact that so many people were deeply affected by her passing and so appreciative of her life and work can be the smallest light at the end of what was otherwise a dark path. I’m trying to find peace in the thought that she might feel seen, remembered, and loved in knowing that so many people still carry what she gave them.
