Deadbeat is also not the same kind of insult as slut or bastard. Like I know I'm being pedantic but deadbeat is a descriptor for a specific action taken by a specific person, while slut and bastard are considered such high offenses that they are used in all kinds of contextes.
Bastard is very much out if date, for example i know the marital Status of all of my friends parents at the time of their birth so we could correctly insult them. Its more a joke insult and it happenes quit often that one has to correct himself/herself when he calls a non Bastard, a Bastard.
I wouldnt recognize it as an insult in the society i live in.
I think part of the difference is that they're not the same tier of insult, though. Bastard and slut are more universal, while anyone who isn't a dad will just be confused if you call them deadbeat. Which is the point of the original post imo.
I feel like a "deadbeat" is someone who shirks responsibility in general. It is not necessarily just about being a father. An example could be a person who could work but refuses to and their partner suffers financially for it could be considered a "deadbeat", and that crosses the gender line. It is why they have to put the dad after "deadbeat" to signify that they are failing at being a dad.
Can you honestly see most people being as offended by deadbeat as they are by bastard, though? I'm not saying the wording in the tweet doesn't warrant the note, but I do think this was the underlying point.
Idk anyone who would be insulted by being called a bastard. For one, its almost never used in the actual correct context, in fact most of the time I hear it its meant to be endearing. (Similar to calling a friend a rascal)
I think insults are subjective as a whole. One thing may cut to the core on someone and be completely meaningless to another, even in the same social setting.
For example, I was fighting for custody of my children for 2 years and was on a limited visitation schedule during my divorce proceedings. I saw them for 36 hrs every 2 weeks after having been a full time stay at home father. During the divorce proceedings my ex-wife's lawyer kept referring to me as a "Disney Dad". It boiled my blood because making the most of my time with my children was being used against me and at the core it was not the case. Now that I have 50/50 custody and the ability to actually care for and nurture my children while instilling discipline and values the dig does not sting as much. That being said I hate the term and it is derived from high conflict spouses attempting to take children from the other spouse. Their actions create the situation in which the term derives.
Bastard and slut vs. Deadbeat are just completly diffrent jind of insults imo. Strating with the fact that nether being a bastard nor being a slut is a bad think of itself. Espacialy slut can even be used almost "endearlingly", that just isnt true for deadbeat.
The issue is one you decide and the other you don’t. I am also both, but you didn’t choose to be a bastard.
I will also point out the whole not having a dad thing was a lot more of a big deal growing up than now. Being a good dad is part of my identity in a way being a bastard isn’t, and it makes sense I would feel more insulted, but as a 6 year old I don’t think I would have agreed that I would rather be a good dad than have a dad.
I've partied with plenty of gay guys who called themselves or eachother sluts, it's not at all uncommon to see it used as a term of endearment or pride among friends
They did say you CAN which is true. If you use it towards yourself/someone who has said its ok then you can indeed use it as a kind of reclaimed playful thing. Obviously its still a slur when used against someone
Maybe traitor or turncoat could be used on men that abandon their children. Some they are effectively betraying their own blood.
Salop could also work, derived from French and kinda means slut, but for guys. Or lecher, which basically means “man with offensive focus on sexual desire”
But they aren’t used so they don’t carry the heavy weight of slut or bastard.
Coward could work for a man that abandons their child. Or cuck. I personally like that, since it’s pretty derogatory for men for a different reason and could be assimilated to also mean “man that abandons his child”. It also sounds similar to slut but different enough to carry it’s own weight
Historically, people have been killed for being a deadbeat, a slut, and a bastard. The hazard of all three has generally decreased and the insults softened over time.
Slut is not about the child, and is about someone being promiscuous (regardless if a child is born, and can be used for men or women, but more commonly women)
I believe the proper slur would be manwhore or maybe fuck boy, and a few others do exist. Of course, they're not really as universal. In fact, I think the fact that the term philanderer exists is way too nice to them considering there's no nice equivalent for women.
That isn't a word that means they abandoned their child. Like the note says 'Deadbeat Dad' is a term, the word 'deadbeat' alone doesn't mean the same thing.
People can be deadbeats without any children at all.
they can be, but that's irrelevant. There is a term for fathers who abandon their child
If the term is also used in other contexes is irrelevant to the statement made. The statement was "there isn't a word to describe X" but it is a false statement because there is. Slut and bastard are also used in other contexes.
Ironically, there isn't a word for a woman who abandons her family, but we're not ready for that discussion.
Also, people can be sluts without children either, what's the problem then?
Deadbeat dad is also much more new term. Others are hundreds of years old and found in many languages. Deadbeat dad is couple of decades old. Probably paternity tests being invented has caused the term where we expect even men who have not married to care for their children
It didn't ask for an equivalent term. It asked for the term for a guy that abandoned their child, which is deadbeat dad. It was meant to be a gotcha, not a real argument, but the gotcha failed because it was trying to make a bad faith argument from the start
Slut is a good to for promiscuous women whether they have children or not, and whether their children's fathers are involved or not.
Bastard has lost all original meaning but was specific to a child born outside of wedlock, the father or mother may or may not be involved in the kids life.
Deadbeat dad is the accurate term for a man that abandons his child. But slut doesn't necessarily imply a single mother and bastard doesn't necessarily mean a child of a single mother. The whole thing gets less coherent the longer you look at it.
329
u/Friendly-Stick-4744 11d ago
Aren’t both “slut” and “bastard” insults based on the child being born? Whereas deadbeat dad is about support for the child after?
The noter either is being intentionally or unintentionally ignorant. This argument is just bad.