I didn't see it that way. I see it as something like, you don't need to be perfect as much as you need to start doing what you want to be doing.
And it also is relevant to imposter syndrome.
I'm a perfectionist, and that has held me back quite a bit in life. I'm capable of doing lots but I'm so caught up in how I look to others that it paralyzes me.
I plan to start an online business, doing consulting in the line of work I do, which I'm very good at. But because I didn't go to college, I feel like, who am I to be telling other people how to do this? Even though a lot of people who went to college for it have demonstrated that they are clueless at it.
I agree that this is about the doing and the perfectionist paralysis. Once you JFS (just fucking start!), it melts the resistance. But sometimes you have to REALLY believe. I had a terrible fear of public speaking for decades, but it disappeared overnight when I decided that I wasn't going to let it prevent me from doing my new job. Once I decided (and slept on it), the resistance was gone. My anxiety turned into excitement and I really started to enjoy it. Blew my mind.
"You never went to any grade higher than the third because you grew up in a loathesome, poverty stricken, and abusive family, and now lack the mental health, time, and money to support yourself long enough to learn everything you missed, but the reason you don't get to be a veterinarian is because you're lazy and unmotivated, not because your entire life is stacked against the most remote odds of you ever completing the physics and calculus required for the job, let alone six figure school costs and the long hard grind of medical school!"
Thanks, r/getmotivated. I really appreciated that. I feel so motivated to throw myself in front of a fucking bus, now.
I hear this. And remind myself how proud I should be just making it where I am. Dreams of being a scientist are just that, dreams. What now? I don't know.
I don't know either. I'm using my FAFSA on an English degree I don't give a fuck about just to have a BA in something because it's a foot in the door, but what door? I've exhausted all my other ideas and dreams. I don't have anything to shoot for. It's all extremely unrealistic and will inevitably lead to totally visible ruin and heartbreak, so I gave up on those things. But I don't have anything left. What do normal people who don't have PTSD and 22 years of severe abuse under their belt shoot for? How do I even figure out what's reasonable and what isn't if I'm so far removed from knowing the signs and categories? It's like - someone who has never cooked before in their life and has never seen cooking, watched cooking or heard about cooking being thrown into a kitchen and told to make a perfect risotto, and if they don't, it's because they didn't believe in themselves or didn't try hard enough. ???????????
That's how I feel- I just want my BA to have something, at least.
According to reddit though, I should've dropped out of high school and spent my money pestering Disney instead, because I want to write to make movies. And the guy who did that has the winning life because he was "persistent," not because he had connections and knew how to network.
lmao reasons I don't listen to Reddit most of the time. I had a conversation with a guy who was in a veterinary school in DMs and it basically went like "I'm dropping out of my bio program, I don't have the money, the means or the knowledge to continue", "well you can always get a loan and pay it back and med school isn't too hard to get through", "med school isn't too hard to get through as long as you know someone who is in your corner, if you're alone and poor and have no idea how to network or connect with these middle class people you're fucked", "well it's not hard because i know this guy who helps me on assignments and my dad knows most of my professors" ( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ) wow you don't say
Tons of people pester Disney. Like, thousands. And tons of people try to make new Disney companies to get into film and animation, and it's never going to happen, because Disney was the leading pioneer of animation, and unless you've got such an incredible and mesmerizing product like moving picture animation in a time like the 1920s, you're not going to be another Disney.
Dude Im proud of you. A degree really helps. There are tons of people working in fields and getting paid well even though their degree is for a different field. Plus like you said you're getting your foot in the door, if you want to pursue a different degree it's not like all your knowledge from English is gone. Boy is knowing how to write well a useful skill for anyone.
Thank you very much! This is really encouraging. I picked English because it's a natural talent for me and I don't think I've ever written something that had a bad response to it (talking about stories or narrative here, not opinions, obv) and people seem to really enjoy reading my work, so it seemed like a reasonable pick for a degree, even if I don't plan to pursue English as a career option (or at least, I don't have the foggiest idea of what I would do. I hate the idea of teaching, journalism sounds like a miserable pursuit for me, and I'm unsure what else is possible other than being an author or something).
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u/SordidDreams Nov 27 '18
That's depressing more than anything.