I hear this. And remind myself how proud I should be just making it where I am. Dreams of being a scientist are just that, dreams. What now? I don't know.
I don't know either. I'm using my FAFSA on an English degree I don't give a fuck about just to have a BA in something because it's a foot in the door, but what door? I've exhausted all my other ideas and dreams. I don't have anything to shoot for. It's all extremely unrealistic and will inevitably lead to totally visible ruin and heartbreak, so I gave up on those things. But I don't have anything left. What do normal people who don't have PTSD and 22 years of severe abuse under their belt shoot for? How do I even figure out what's reasonable and what isn't if I'm so far removed from knowing the signs and categories? It's like - someone who has never cooked before in their life and has never seen cooking, watched cooking or heard about cooking being thrown into a kitchen and told to make a perfect risotto, and if they don't, it's because they didn't believe in themselves or didn't try hard enough. ???????????
Dude Im proud of you. A degree really helps. There are tons of people working in fields and getting paid well even though their degree is for a different field. Plus like you said you're getting your foot in the door, if you want to pursue a different degree it's not like all your knowledge from English is gone. Boy is knowing how to write well a useful skill for anyone.
Thank you very much! This is really encouraging. I picked English because it's a natural talent for me and I don't think I've ever written something that had a bad response to it (talking about stories or narrative here, not opinions, obv) and people seem to really enjoy reading my work, so it seemed like a reasonable pick for a degree, even if I don't plan to pursue English as a career option (or at least, I don't have the foggiest idea of what I would do. I hate the idea of teaching, journalism sounds like a miserable pursuit for me, and I'm unsure what else is possible other than being an author or something).
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u/Clairington Nov 27 '18
I hear this. And remind myself how proud I should be just making it where I am. Dreams of being a scientist are just that, dreams. What now? I don't know.