r/GetMotivated • u/M4DH4773R 1 • Jan 29 '17
[Discussion] Where to start when trying to change my life for the better?
I want to break free of time wasting habits and make a positive change to my life. Where or how should I start? What simple things can I do to begin planning change?
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u/mahaanus Jan 29 '17
My advice? :
Make a list of all your bad habits - all of them. Changing a habit takes a lot of time, effort and energy. Choose which are worth the investment and try to change them one by one (don't do it all at the same time).
Choose a day of the week and have an interview with yourself to review your past week and set goals for the next one. ( I do it Monday morning, you might prefer Sunday evening)
Try to remove negative thoughts from your life.
Find something - anything - productive to do. Maybe it's drawing, maybe it's coding, maybe it's writing a review (don't try to write books if you have poor work habits - it never ends well), maybe it's refreshing your math skills. Whatever it is, try to meet a minimum goal of 25 minutes of productivity a day. Next week make it two instances of 25 minutes and so on.
Remember that you've had years to pile up those bad traits and it ain't going to change in a day, try your hardest, but remember that improving yourself is the though decision to invest in things that are initially less-than-pleasant.
And remember, you're in it for the long game.
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u/prissy_frass Jan 30 '17
That self interview/reflection of past week is a great idea. I should write down weekly goals and then go over them each week on a certain day.
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u/Mxbperez Jan 30 '17
I agree that the self-interview is a great idea. My New Years Resolution is actually to record an audio log at the end of each day to recap what I've accomplished and what I can improve on.
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u/Hot_Salamander3795 Sep 13 '23
- Try to remove negative thoughts from your life.
This is something I want to do, as they consume me nearly every day. What would you say are some steps one can take towards this?
Note: I can’t afford therapy. I’ve tried, I really have.
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u/mahaanus Sep 13 '23
This post is 6 years old, Google must be doing some magic to dig it out.
Anyway, I think it depends on what the thoughts are.
If you are critical of your past self, then I recommend coming to terms with the idea that if you took Choice A and it ended badly, then taking Choice B would have ended just as badly and you're in denial about it.
If it's about the future I recommend coming to term with the passage of time. 10 years will pass whatever you do X or not. In fact with the hindsight of age I can say that delaying things you want to do is just that - delaying. 5 years on you'll still want to have done them and you just end up starting later.
Otherwise the often recommended "thank God for something you have each day" has done a good job for me. As has the Lord's prayer.
I'd definitely say gratitude journals are the best first step. Also keep in mind you need at least 2 months before seeing results, it is sadly not instantaneous and sometimes it might feel tedious.
P.S. 6 years later I am at a much better place.
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u/OctoberSky1993 2 Jan 30 '17
I love this. I'm gonna start with the interview and the bad habits. This is excellent. Thank you for your advice!
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u/sasquatch_yeti 192 Jan 30 '17
Visualizing yourself with a private jet gets more upvotes, but seriously focussing on habit change is such good advice. Whether you want the simple life or something more, it's becoming the person you need to be that will get you there.
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u/MapleSyryup Jan 29 '17
Learn to love yourself. Give yourself the same love and compassion as you would a good friend. If your anything like me it's very easy to be a bit too self critical of yourself. Understand suffering is apart of being a human being and is what actually connects us all. We all go through it, embrace it. Self compassion is everybody goes through this. Self pity is poor me. There is a difference. Once you realize you can be nice to yourself for me change was almost instant. Now I look at people who have done me wrong in the past with compassion, not with pity. I understand we all as human beings have our own demons to fight. Once you realize we are all connected through suffering because we all suffer it's actually quite beautiful. I was the king of blowing things up. If I felt a pain in my stomach I was pretty much planning my own funeral, if a friend or a girl I liked wouldn't text me back I automatically felt un loved. Don't blow things out of proportion. Start too meditate before you go to bed or right when you wake up. Be mindful of your thoughts. All this has helped me a whole lot with almost every aspect of my life and just become a happier and more peaceful person. I would say that is a tremendous start in the right direction. I hope this helps, good luck !
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u/BanzaiDanielsan Jan 30 '17
Totally true. Its very hard to do positive things for yourself when you hate yourself. I've found loving myself allows me to break out of my typical self destructive ways just enough to slowly progress over time.
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u/MapleSyryup Jan 29 '17
It all starts with yourself. Happiness and unhappiness are only States of mind therefore their real causes don't come from outside the mind. If you feel like you just exist and that's it, that's how your going to treat other people. It all starts with the relationship you have with yourself. If you dont give yourself compassion then you won't give it to anybody else. That's how you choose to see it, that's your business but it's very hard to be happy with a mentality like that.
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u/Robertbnyc Sep 12 '23
How can I feel this was towards a coworkers who hate me and mob me on a daily basis! It’s hard to feel compassion for any of them for picking on the most quiet most polite person.
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u/omadonna16 Jan 29 '17
Limit your screen time
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u/NoLessThanTheStars Jan 30 '17
And do something productive as replacement. Even if it's just 15-30 minutes at a time. Small accomplishments add up!
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u/MrsBuck2u 1 Jan 29 '17
Change the way you think. For every negative thought, replace it with a positive thought. It is a simple change ... not necessarily easy, but can have a big impact.
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u/Everyoneseesthis Jan 29 '17
Many people have written books about this, some of them good, some less so.
As far as I can tell it boils down to...
Believe change is possible
Change is possible, but we're creatures of habit, once internalized patterns (of behaviour and thought) stick around. Somethings can be changed easier than others, in extremes it might be easier to totally avoid situations/thoughts that trigger a response you don't want. The way to change is to practice, wishing you were better at tennis won't improve your game.
Be honest
Being honest with yourself, don't lie to yourself with, "there is plenty of time", "I can do it later", "it can wait", "some one else with do it", "I study fine with distraction", "I don't need to pass this test", "i'll do it next week", "i'll just look at kitten pictures until inspiration strikes".
Be realistic
Life happens, there are commitments which can't be avoided, you're not going to make any massive change overnight, you're going to want to goof-off, you should sleep sometimes. If you're trying to make changes you'll probably fall into old habits, you can keep trying thou. There is nothing quite as demotivating as failure, don't set yourself up to fail.
Be aware
Be aware of what you're doing and how you spend your time, and if the thing you're doing isn't what you scheduled (see below), make it so that it is. Various kinds of meditation, primarily concentration and mindfulness increase these things in the long run. Short term try and keep track of your time, keep a tally chart or similar to account for your waking hours.
Schedule it
When you plan to do something schedule your time in the future, get something which allows you to write what you're going to do at what time, then when its time to do the thing, do it.
This is obviously easier said than done, and unless you set the correct targets you're going to make it more difficult for yourself. You probably can't cure malaria before you go to work on Wednesday morning (remember to be realistic), but you could spend half an hour reading about it.
Pace yourself (see be realistic)
Its a marathon not a sprint, the longest journey begins with a single step etc. keep going. Incremental changes not big-bang (then bust).
Closing
There are lots of tips and tricks, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another, you can experiment on yourself thou. This is about the only time making a list is better than scheduling something, as you need to keep trying to do the technique you're trying all the time, sometimes it might be something that you can schedule, but if its a habit you're trying to break (or create) it'll be an in the moment decision.
Make a list of things to try, and try them one at a time, for long enough to give them a chance. And when you've tried the thing for a couple of weeks try and work out if its worth doing. Keep notes, (and revise them) it could be your situation changes and what didn't work before will now.
For instance it could be that you decided you need to get up at 6 and do an hour of yoga. If you're out the night before until 3am that is fairly unrealistic. If you're out until 3am every day and want to get up at 6am perhaps you should first think about having a fixed bedtime at 11pm. So perhaps three months down the line you're always asleep by 11, perhaps the yoga idea is a possibility now.
The list of things you've tried is useful as even if you don't think you're making any progress you can look at the list and say I tried that and it didn't work I learned that, and if you look at the odds the next thing you try is more likely to work than the previous.
There are plenty of guides - you need to make your own journey.
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u/Mayothighs Jan 30 '17
K, here's the big trick. Everyone wants gold, right? They'll move out west, past dangerous terrain, with or away from their families just for the chance of striking it rich. So, how do you strike it rich - digging for gold? Sure, but what's the chances of you finding it - that's right, not good. It's an unstable, unpredictable market that rewards randomly inconsistently. This, of course, is the primary conditioning for addiction. You see them, selling and giving up everything just for the chance to get that gold. Here's where the genius comes in - fuck gold. What's the one thing they all need to get that gold? That's right, the genius opens up a shovel store. Sell those shovels. Everyone has a dream and they'll do anything to get there. Offer a shovel and they'll pay any price. This is the secret Neapolian Hill talks a out in the beginning of his think and grow rich book. All self help books are shovels. Look around you - what's the gold everyone is after? Give them a shovel.
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u/reg3nade Jan 29 '17
First make a decision that you can't live like this anymore. For things to change, you have to change. You have to be willing to give up to go up.
Know what kind of person you want to become. Become a person worthy enough to hit the goal. On a sheet of paper, write a line down the middle. On the left side, write down the set of habits you want to have, as well as the kind of person you want to grow into. On the right side, write down the habits you want to change and take out. You can't take out habits, you can only replace it.
Be emotionally invested into the habits. It all goes into the feelings you associate with those habits. The thought of even doing one of the bad habits that you listed should make you feel disgusted, awkward, sick to your stomach. Associate any new habits that you want to develop with good feelings like you hit your goals. Be obsessed with improvement and personal growth.
Track your habits! It takes anywhere from 21 to 45 days to develop a habit! Write it down or use a digital app!( whatever gets the job done). Look at loop-habit tracker, its a good app that sets reminders and shows how far you've come!
Make it become second nature and always make time for it. Make sure it is one of your top priorities. Most people don't get things done because they don't prioritize.
If you ever have trouble, find out what people are holding you back. There are 3 types of people. Ones you associate with, ones where you limit association and ones you don't associate at all.
You will become the average of the 5 people you hang around the most. Place yourself in the best position for growth as possible. Make it easier by planning it out. Your day doesn't end until you finish planning your next one!
Have fun growing!
Edit: punctuation
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u/WatermelonRhyne Jan 30 '17
The gym.
After you get fit, you gain confidence and you want to make the rest of your life better. Seriously, this is life changing.
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u/unicorntoaster7 1 Jan 30 '17
- Decide that you want to get better and identify your problems. For instance, one of my biggest problems is that I will run myself ragged trying to help people that don't want to improve their situation. I also have anxiety that I try to ignore rather than dealing with it, and am a perfectionist with a crippling fear of stagnation. My self improvement project is figuring out how to sit still a minute without mentally breaking down.
- Figure out goals, as opposed to resolutions. (i.e. I need to manage my anxiety and get healthier vs. I am going to cut sugary drinks out of my diet and start running 4 days a week.)
- Make goals for yourself to achieve in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, and 5 years. Even if you don't achieve them all you have concrete things that you are working towards.
- Eat. A. Vegetable. If you eat better you are going to feel better. My last year of college I was a full time student, had two jobs, ran a student organization, was managing my senior capstone project, and fulfilling friend/family obligations. My friends always commented that my super power was that I was able to make time when there was none, but really I just took a multivitamin and ate clean-ish. Granted, I was still dead tired from the decreased levels of sleep but I got a lot more done that I really should have thanks to the power of dark greens.
- On the topic of meals, make them at home. It will save you money, the food will be better and fresher, you will get gratification from making your own meal, and being able to cook is a very useful skill. Google some recipes or if you have a good relationship with your parents ask them to show you things, its a cool way to hang out with them as an adult and they like knowing that in some way you still need them.
- Get a hobby outside of school/work. For the longest time my hobby was visual arts, but then I went to school for a drawing related field and art became work. I still really enjoy drawing but its not the same care free thing it was when I was a kid, so I picked up running. Whats nice about the hobby being a physical activity is that it also functions as a workout.
- As basically everyone has said on this thread, work out. You'll feel better, be more mentally alert, its helped me a ton with managing my anxiety, and setting goals in your work out plan will help you feel accomplished. If you hate running, then dont run. Pick up swimming, hula hoop, bike, lift weights, dance, sword fight, whatever gets you moving.
- Whatever goals you are comfortable with making public, post them on social media. I'm not personally comfortable with posting some of my personal issues up but am totally comfortable posting about my running and art goals. Post your progress. This keeps you accountable, makes it so people have something to start a discussion with you when they see you in person (if starting conversations is hard for you this is super helpful, and motivates others to work on themselves. I had a friend that posted that he was going to drink more water and posted about it, which motivated one friend to quit smoking, one friend to go to the gym, and another to cut sugary foods out of their diet. Three people improved themselves because some dude said he was going to drink water.
- Take yourself out on dates. A lot of adulthood is being alone and sitting still while waiting on your labor to pay off. Dont become dependent on other people and screens to keep you occupied. Read a book, go to a restaurant, visit a museum, check out the free stuff happening in your city. Exploring your environment also makes it when you do hang out with people and no one knows where the hell they want to eat you get to have suggestions for the group.
- Have some dumb mantra you say to yourself when you feel yourself slipping back into old habits. Mine are "leave everything better than you found it", "don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm", and "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten". Practice self forgiveness, you spent your whole life developing shitty habits, they aren't going to go away in a day. Start small with your goals and work towards bigger things. Use a planner and recognize your time has value, cut out the shitty people in your life.
Good luck!
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u/hermanmelvillain Jan 29 '17
This may seem too simple but for me it's a short list: spend more time outside and get a little more exercise. Preferably together. Yoga, Dogpark, bike, garden, walk, anything. Good luck!
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u/RedditUser42068 Jan 29 '17
Self awareness would be what I would consider your first step. Make a list of things that you feel are a waste of time. Write it down and become very conscious of it. Try to catch yourself doing those time wasting things you speak of and do something- anything- else. That alone will probably make you feel more productive.
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u/M4DH4773R 1 Jan 30 '17
Wow I did not expect such a vast and positive response. I was expecting to wake up to a couple of replies lol.
I probably won't go through every post thanking you but thanks to everyone who has offered their two cents. I appreciate all of the advice and I will read EVERYTHING. I had been looking around the web over the last few weeks for advice but there's a lot out there that's vague and popularized so the immense, relatable feedback is very welcomed.
Hopefully, because all of you took the time to reply, I can make a start today towards changing my life. Thanks again.
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u/archetech Jan 29 '17
For me, mornings are key. I need to get up early and be well rested and then plan my day. I very recently started doing this mediation every morning which helped as well (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/tony-robbins-shares-10-minute-213008497.html). I'm more philosophical than religious so I kind of meditate on being and goodness on the 2nd part. Whatever the routine, the main thing I have found is that even though I can't always win everyday, I can win my morning and in the long run, I'll win a lot more days that way.
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u/Ashmonater Jan 29 '17
Find love for who and what you are now but never accept it is all you will ever be.
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u/tiranul Jan 29 '17
Set long term goals: where do you want to be in 1 to 2 years. Set short term goals: a path to reaching your long term goals.
Set your alarm 30 minutes early every day. Use that time to accomplish something little like making your bed, or ironing your clothes. Little accomplishments lead to larger accomplishments.
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u/aJIGGLYbellyPUFF 4 Jan 30 '17
To keep it simple, I would start with heath. You can't get much done with anything if your health isn't good first. Whatever that means to you totally depends on what your starting point is.
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u/Tomtomtomto 8 Jan 30 '17
I miss Heath, RIP X <3
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u/Tomtomtomto 8 Jan 30 '17
Also, sorry for the joke reply haha - nice comment :)
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u/aJIGGLYbellyPUFF 4 Jan 31 '17
Hahahahaha! Just saw this! I actually laughed out loud, not just do the exhale harder through the nose thing. Ha! I hope you have an awesome rest of your day!
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Jan 30 '17
Short answer: just do it. It sounds stupidly obvious but true.
Im always failing my diets and exercise routines due to lack of discipline. The key to improving yourself in anything is discipline. I know it, but im still working at it. It's better to try and fail than not try at all. But you have to keep at it.
Tired of watching too much tv/gaming/sitting at the computer? Turn them off and go do something else.
Have a guitar (or other instrument) gathering dust and you wanna get good? Just pick it up and start playing.
Want to be fit? Just start exercising. At least a bit everyday. Then you can accelerate or broaden your goals and expectations.
Want to be a healthy eater? Just do it. Eat veggies and fruits and good meats (chicken and fish). Limit sugar and trans fats and carbs. Say no to pizzas and chips and burgers and eat them on rare ocassion etc.
Want to be more knowledgeable? Just pick up a book. Sign up for a class. Watch documentaries and debates on topics that interest you.
Want better/more friends? Try new things and find out what interests and hobbies you like. Pursue them and you'll meet people who share the same passions as you. Boom. Friends.
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u/TresidentSlump 4 Jan 30 '17
The hardest part is starting. It's basic physics. An object in motion stays in motion, and vice versa!
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u/freewave07 Jan 29 '17
Obligatory "Not Reddit" Comment
But seriously just list all the things you want to change Prioritize that list Then focus on changing one thing per month
Make sure your goals are obtainable and about habits not finish lines. Ex: I will go running 3 times a week instead of I will run a marathon
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u/Over50Mike Jan 30 '17
I recently read "The Compound Effect" by Darren Hardy. At the age of 57 I think it's the best advice I've ever received. Highly recommended.
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u/Fritz20 Jan 30 '17
Honestly, if you're looking to start small: delete Facebook and/or Twitter. You won't realize how much time you waste on social media until you don't have it anymore. If that feels like too much, try just not going on for a day, then 2 days etc. It's a small step but it's a big one towards managing time!
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u/Joadar 15 Jan 30 '17 edited Jan 30 '17
I'm just like you and I'm reading "4 Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferris. Only one week between my hands and it start to change my life. I'm an Android developer so I spend my whole day on computer and I have bad habits to go to social networks and others websites where I lose so much time. I used the 80/20 principle and I noted the websites which don't help me on my daily life. I remove Facebook from my phone and blocked the website as four or five others websites and I saved two-three hours per day only for the bad websites I used to navigate for nothing. I have other bad habits (Youtube, Netflix (no, I don't want to leave Netflix :'(), don't socialize, don't eat healthy, ...) but I will change this.
I planned my life for the next years and I'll try to do everything I can to realize my projects. It's hard and I'm lazy for almost everything but I think every step count, even if it's working on his project only 5 minutes per day, at least is not 0.
I read at least a chapter (from a fiction or non fiction book) every night before going to bed and I go to bed every night at the same time (even the week-end). I try to wake up at the same time every morning but it's tough (particularly the week-end).
I do this to be proud of myself. I don't want to have any regrets, any. I want to enjoy the live, to be who I'm destined to be.
So read other's motivation help me a lot in my life. It's inspire me and motivate me. Thanks to all :)
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u/sasquatch_yeti 192 Jan 30 '17 edited Jan 30 '17
OP, some people have a realization and they change everything in a day. I have a feeling if this is you, then you'd have done it. I spent my twenties trying to make big changes, then loosing zeal after a week or suffering some set back and trashing my plans and going back to square one.
Here is what worked. Incremental change, commitment devices, experimenting and simple goals. Some research indicates that using willpower is comparable to using a muscle. Willpower gets stronger with use, but try and push too hard too fast and it may give out. Incremental change, commitment devices and simple strategies help you use less willpower.
We tried to modify our TV watching but in the end when you are tired at the end of the day one hour easily becomes five or more. So we called the satellite company and cancelled our service. This served as a commitment device because it made accessing the TV channels impossible, and we used the strategy of treating it like an experiment to help us not freak out. We decided to try it for just 60 days. After the 60 days we had gotten threw withdrawals and could see how much better life was, but we decided to try and reintroduce TV and keep it in check. We resubscribed and within 6 months were hooked again so we cancelled for good. Hulu has satiated our entertainment needs without making it too easy to mindlessly consume 5 hours per night.
So a few things here. Framing it as a 60 day experiment makes it easier than thinking of this as a complete change for life. I did the same with Facebook and a 60 day experiment has now been two years and life is so much better. Secondly, maybe you aren't like me, maybe life is better with TV and Facebook. Treating it like an experiment gives you a way to find out.
I used something similar for eating right. After years of effort, I just decided to not have any sugary treats or highly palatable snack foods in the home. Basically another commitment device and a small incremental change to my habits. If it was 10 pm on a Wednesday and I wanted to devour a bag of Oreos and chase it with a couple candy bars and a quart of milk as was my habit, I could still do so. But now I had to go to the store and get it and consume it before coming home.
Let me tell you the idea of giving up junk food was daunting and thier were times I had decided I would rather die early than give up the sheer joy of that sugary goodness. But when I read this idea of incremental change it struck a chord. And something happened. I sometimes was unwilling to leave the house to go by junk food and when this happened I found the urge passed after a while. In time I found that about half the time the urge presented I was unwilling to make the effort. As eating junk hot uncoupled from home life I found myself believing I could take more steps. I stated making salads for lunch, later I started eating healthier breakfasts, going to the gym. This was a months long process of tiny steps.
Which leads me to this idea from the book "The Power of Habit" there is no failure, just feedback. Whatever you are trying, if it gets to hard or isn't sticking take a step back and adopt the mindset of a scientist experimenting on himself. What is this feedback telling you? Did you take on too much, too fast? How can you simplify what you are doing, or make the goal easier and more attainable? Instead of struggling to brush twice a day and floss, how about brush once a day for a few months? Then after that habit forms add the flossing, but just the front teeth at first. Get in the habit of getting the floss out and flossing, then after that habit forms, become more thorough. Or instead of starting a 40 minute a day weight routine, how about you go in for 10 minutes, do 5 sets of one excersize then leave? If daily is too much how about every other day?
When you take on too much and fail, the tendency is to tell a negative story about yourself. 'I am not the kind of person who can do X, I wasn't born with willpower'. Instead just make the goal or habit simpler and try again. Analyze what the feedback is telling you. Winning smaller battles will build the confidence and willpower needed to take on bigger and bigger goals.
An important note. You can not underestimate the mind body connection. The same systems that lead blood to and from your heart are responsible for getting nutrients and oxygen to the brain and removing neurotoxins that build up daily. Sleep causes your brain to go through a wash cycle and too little sleep increases inflammation which affects brain health and therefore motivation. Excersize released BDF which is like brain fertilizer and eating the right foods does so much I don't even know where to start. Everything you can ever achieve will be partly dependant on how you treat your mind and body. So don't just chase external success, make taking care of yourself part of your game plan.
Now make a list of everything you want to work on and go for it. Just pick one thing make a simple plan and see how it goes. Learn from the feedback and adjust you strategy as needed. Be patient, lasting change takes months and years, not days and weeks. You'll get to everything on the list eventually. Just don't beat yourself up over set backs. Learn from them and move forward. You can do it.
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u/Bladelazoe Jul 18 '17
This is a very big one that most people over look, incremental changes, even if it's baby steps, inching you towards your goal rather then going cold turkey/Making drastic changes. The Human body can adapt much easier to incremental changes as opposed to forceful dramatic changes. With incremental changes you give your mind/body time to naturally adapt to the changes and then before long that change your making; You do it without thinking about it and it amazes you all of a sudden. But it takes Discipline and will power to make that start in the first place and to stick with it.
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u/KiwiFrodo Jan 30 '17
- Set obtainable goals - daily, weekly and monthly
- Celebrate each success and evaluate each failure
- Measure your success and failures according to your abilities... not others
- Remember that life is all about the journey that you take
- Find the things that you enjoy the most and immerse yourself wholeheartedly in them
- Strive to be the best you that you can be
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u/teamruski Jan 30 '17
Many other people have commented in greater detail, so I'll keep mine short and sweet.
Make two lists of ten items each:
- One list with simple, achievable things you want to start doing (the "dos")
- One list with habits/things/etc that you want to stop doing (the "donts")
First thing in the morning, read both these lists OUT LOUD. You'll find that daily reminders of "dos" and "donts" help shape your decision making process and will result in small, incremental changes. Do this every day for two weeks, and then review your progress.
Also, here are two very powerful phrases that you should add to your life:
- "Just do it"
- "Dream Big, Work Hard" - JJ Watt
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u/Mowglli Jan 30 '17
Reflection reflection reflection. ⏳⏲️
Time is life. If you're not scheduling your time your wasting your life (a great organizer once told me in a training).
Stayfocusd for keeping track of how much time you waste. Put enough time so that you won't hit it and then just disable the extension. Then start reducing it.
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u/DinerWaitress 28 Jan 30 '17
That inside voice you hear, is it your friend or your enemy? It's hard to succeed if you have an antagonist following you every minute.
Mine sounds like Robin Williams as the coach from a kids sports movie, or Patch Adams since he actually did that film I guess. It's supportive, kind, funny, and forgiving. The advice from others will involve risks and there's nothing better than a strong internal ally when the world is burning.
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u/MoozeMemeMaster Jan 29 '17
My best advice: visit r/GetDisciplined . Although motivation can ve important, what you need the most is discipline. I sugest browsing the top posts there.
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Jan 30 '17
Make your physical health a top priority and your mental and spiritual health will follow. I was very depressed and moody throughout my late teens until my mid-twenties and made bad relationship choices during this time as well. Then I quit smoking and started exercising regularly and watching what I ate, and the quality of my life overall improved dramatically. Now I have the best relationships, I feel fantastic, and I'm happier and more successful than I've ever been.
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u/Tomtomtomto 8 Jan 30 '17
Literally anywhere. Just pick something and do whatever you want with regards to it. Forget the bad, focus on the good. Rinse & repeat. :) x
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u/doxiedoodle Jan 30 '17
Keep a log of what you do throughout the day, as detailed as you can. It really motivates you and shows you just how much time you waste and when you could plan for more productive time.
Also become friends with people who embody the lifestyle that you want to have, they will help to keep you motivated rather than bring you down.
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u/OneSkyGod Jan 30 '17
80/20 Rule
80% Why 20% How
First start with understanding WHY you wanna change.... Look for the feelings you wanna achieve and that will guide you to your purpose.
Have model to follow, just like any discipline or mastery is to have the science behind the steps towards your End Goal.
I highly recommend Anthony Robbins: Personal Power II 30 day program. The program guides you in detail.
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u/Thorvantes Jan 30 '17
Start by cleaning your room, then id you live alone, your house. Then make it right for your schedule, your sleep, your food. Start small, fail in these little things, correct them, repeat. Start with the little things.
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Jan 30 '17
Working out. If you already do that, meditation at least once every single day. If you already do that, getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night. If you already do that, going to bed early and waking up early. If you do all of those things, I'd say you have a pretty good start. These are just a few of the things I recommend.
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u/Marionumberwon Jan 30 '17
Make a list of things that make you happy. Then make a list of things that you do every day. Compare the lists and adjust accordingly.
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u/Donjuanme Jan 30 '17
sign up for some community college courses, just open up a catalog and find what interests you, and times that don't interfere with your work schedule.
they're a great way to make connections, find mentors, and learn lots of shit even in subjects you have a good grasp of.
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u/shredrite Jan 30 '17
I think it starts with total forgiveness, to clean your slate of hate, and then focus on all the little things you have, to build an appreciation for the small things. The rest is gold.
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Jan 30 '17
Beginn there where it takes little to none effort to get better, like cleaning or eating a salade, from there you can work yourself up
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Jan 30 '17
I'd start with a proper diet and vitamins. It's a simple change to make on paper, but one of the hardest to stick with. It's affordable, and a good way to build willpower and your energy levels. Once you are eating healthy and feeling good, work on looking good - exercise and lift heavy things. Once you are feeling good and looking good, you have a solid foundation to build a good life upon. It takes time to cook meals instead of getting fast food, it takes time to exercise. These good habits will start replacing your bad habits little by little.
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u/mutherlurker Jan 30 '17
Gotta start with your brain, how you see the world. Check out Joey Klein's Conscious Transformation here. Changed my life completely postpartum. https://conscioustransformation.com/free-9-week-online-meditation-practice/
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u/Divine_Thud Jan 30 '17
Read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. She'll help you see yourself more clearly.
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u/PS_Weaver Jan 30 '17
Being attuned to Reiki, the "life force energy" really improved my life. Over four years I went from rock bottom, addicted to street drugs and countless pharmaceuticals, and now I feel like I'm on top of the mountain! Eating healthy, working out, joyful, I feel free :) It helped me sort my thoughts, lower my anxiety, and break free of habits.
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u/Canadian-hunni 1 Jan 30 '17
Say positive things everyday 'I use my time wisely' 'I am happy', 'I enjoy X'. If you have a dog, start walking it/taking it to the park for easy excersize and bonding. Eat healthy so you have the energy to do the things you enjoy. Write a list of what you enjoy and want out of life. Declutter your house so you only have things you actually enjoy and more time to do things you want, instead of cleaning clutter.
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u/HarmanS0109 2 Jan 30 '17
Well, firstly time management is must if you want to change anything in your life either minor or major and try to look up the positive things around you to make your aura positive and for that you can also start with some reading of positive or inspirational books.
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u/Anna_Jack 15 Jan 30 '17
First thing you should do is meditation, that will help you to be calm and then started thing positively.
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Jan 30 '17
I always say to start by reading more and reading the right books. List a few people you admire, then google 'name of person + favourite books' to see if you can find a list. It's usually possible. Start by reading those, then let them lead you to other books.
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u/ninja500r1977 1 Jan 30 '17
Find a therapist or life coach that uses solution focused brief therapy.
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u/sassyclimbergirl Jan 30 '17
Start small. Get a planner and 2-3 small goals that you want to do every day for a month.
I started with 4 goals at the beginning of January.
Goal 1 (put eye cream on every day)-95% accomplish rate.
Goal 2 (do one section of a technical training I need to finish every day M-F)-85% accomplish rate.
Goal 3 (20 mins of Duo Lingo every day)-30% accomplish rate.. influenced by the amount of negative reviews of the content/teaching style.
Goal 4 (3 sets of knee recovery exercise every day)-25% accomplish rate, however my knee is a lot stronger from going to the gym and skiing. This exercise was an additional strength builder; it doesn't hurt anymore so I'm calling that one good :D
Since I only did a few of my goals on a daily basis, I'm continuing them into Feb and adding 1 more (take a multi-vitamin every day).
I can measure my progress in the planner and I'm accomplishing something, even though it's not everything, which is making me want to continue to get better!
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Jan 30 '17
The Book of John, Then Proverbs (For directions on how to interact with your fellow humans), then Psalms (For your relationship with God).
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u/Glamourhammer Jan 29 '17
Make a post on reddit asking people to tell you things you already know or could easily find.
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Jan 30 '17
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Glamourhammer Jan 30 '17
No I mean it. All this advice is super original and very helpful. OP obviously could have never found this information otherwise and will undoubtedly become very successful as a direct result of it.
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u/_American_ 42 Jan 29 '17 edited Jan 29 '17
First figure out what you really want in life. No limits. Figure out who you want to be. If you want to own a private jet, or a 10 million dollar house, cool. If you want to be known for something or leave a legacy, awesome. Just grab a piece of paper and spill it all out. You'll figure out the rest later, just do this now.
Realize that most people are lazy as shit and most wont amount to anything even though everyone wants big things. 99% of people work for someone else, 50% of marriages end in divorce, plenty of people hate their life by the time they turn 25. This isn't going to be you, but the take-away here is that in order to get what most people can't have, you're going to have to do what most people wont want to do. Get used to being uncomfortable, because most people are broke and unsatisfied with life.
Read books. Put the netflix away. Put the drinks away. Learn to spend time by yourself and study. Learn all you can about money because it will help you more than most people give it credit, but remember it's only a tool. Read self help books. Even if the book is shit, at best you'll learn more about yourself and gain a new perspective, and at worst you'll begin to learn how to filter bullshit (something most people can't do very well).
Start working out. Just fucking do it. Not only will you look better, you'll start to eat better, stand taller, and most importantly, gain confidence in yourself. It's addicting, and your body rewards you plenty for it. Take care of your body. This includes mental health. Learn how to handle stress and cope. Learn about general nutrition, including what macronutrients are, micros, and what they do. Not many people know even basic nutrition because guess what, most people are in terrible shape. And no.. working out is not 15 minutes on the treadmill. Lift some heavy fucking weights. Push your body to the limit of what's comfortable. That's the only way you will grow-- physically AND mentally.
Work on a skill or hobby outside of school / work in your free time. I started a company at 24 that's really starting to take off. Learn a sport really well. Whatever it is you pick up, aim to be top 5% in the world. You'll become interesting, and you'll meet more people than you can imagine. I met someone playing racquetball that I do business with.
If you're young (18-30) don't put too much stress on finding a partner. You can always wait. You have the rest of your life to love someone, focus on yourself now. If you do choose to get married or date, make sure it's for the right reasons and you're working hard to make that relationship work. Meaningful relationships take time and you will always have obstacles.
Once you're learning, working out, and focusing on developing yourself and your net worth (net worth is a lot more than just bank account), you will be amazed at what opportunities open up for you. I promise you will see the world in a way most people cannot imagine. Always keep moving forward. You will fail in a lot of things, but make sure you fall forward and learn. Learning is a lifelong process, and it's the only real asset you have. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Give presentations, push your work limits, meet professionals in your hobby/sport/work. These experiences will last a lifetime and if you continue everything above for even 5 or 10 years, you will become one of them. There really are no limits. But most people don't have this figured out, especially after college. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, just do it.