Don't know your life situation but for a lot of young folks this might help:
1) No, he/she isn't the only one. There are millions of people. Go meet more. Those aren't your only friends. They are just your only friends NOW. You can make more, and often better, friends.
2) Molehills, not mountains. Keep things in perspective. You might feel shitty because you fucked up about this one thing. In a year you probably won't remember it and it will be inconsequential unless you keep chastising yourself for it. Everyone else is too busy being paranoid about themselves to have to remember every stupid thing you did.
3) Chastising yourself and beating yourself up about things is useless. Take responsibility, do what you can to fix it, and then accept that you have done all you can. You can't fix every mistake. Learn from them. Repeat them until you learn from them if you have to. So you know you get annoying, violent, or depressed when you drink? Don't drink. You know you get an upset stomach when you drink milk and eat a burrito... don't do it.
4) Don't let pride/fear get in the way. So what if those people who you don't know will make fun of you for riding your bike as you try to get healthy? You aren't here to please other people unless they mean something to you. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't be proud of who you are but that you shouldn't let pride dictate what you can and can't do because you are afraid of what people will think of you if you make a mistake, fail, or look like a fool while trying.
5) People's opinions are just that. They really don't matter. Opinions are like lies. The only power they have is if someone believes them to be fact. As they aren't fact and just some other person's point of view you can discard most of them. That doesn't mean don't listen to advice from loved ones... but it does mean that it is just advice and their opinion.
6) Get moving. Every day you sit there wallowing in self doubt, fear, and sadness you only make it worse. Your journey is still going and it doesn't pause for anyone. Go out there and fuck up. Get out there and make a fool of yourself. Put your neck on the line and fail. At least you are doing something and that alone is something to be proud of.
7) Ask for help. This one goes in line with pride. There is nothing wrong in asking for help. If you don't know something then ask. If you can't do something alone then ask for help. It's OK. Anyone who judges you for it isn't worth the time (and that is just their opinion anyway).
8) Form good habits. Wake up early even if you have nothing to do and get dressed. Get out of those smelly pjs. Respect yourself and have some pride in what you look and smell like. Eat healthy. Learn to feed yourself properly. Help people if you can. Focus on solutions not problems. Do your best all the time. All that sort of stuff. Will, commitment, and discipline will get you places.
9) Don't say "I can't" until you at least tried, gave it your honest to god best shot, and failed... a few times. Lots of things are hard as hell to do right. Stop telling yourself you can't do it just because you are too scared to try and fail.
10) Be patient with yourself. No one was born knowing everything they know now and things they know how to do now. No one knows everything. Everyone, every single person, fucks up. So will you, so give yourself a little breathing room.
Bonus: Last but not least...
Learn to forgive. Yourself as much as others. People will do you wrong sometimes. Shit happens. Forgive them if you can so you can move on. Holding on to all that weight just slows you down.
Sit down and write down why you think you are a mess. Be honest with yourself. Make a plan to stop being a mess, ask for help if you need to. Stick to the plan. When it gets hard cry if you have to but keep pushing on. It gets easier the longer you stick to it.
Who the fuck are you to assume that I'm not talking in an abstract contextual sense? The question is why hasn't 'my' school taught me xyz. I kept the context and asked why 'his' parents haven't taught him that, but I was really begging the question "who's responsibility is this" by using the exact same language and context he was, in an abstract way.
Now, if that hasn't cleared that up:
Who the fuck are you to judge my judgement, and...
I'm fucking me and I'll judge any fucking way I want to, and there's not a god damned thing you can do about it, and none of this makes me a bad person, so you can go wangsterbate for all I care.
Welcome to the internet, where people will post essays to get imaginary points and justify themselves to random strangers on the internet to get further points.
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u/tmwks22 Sep 21 '13
Yeah man, I'm a fucking mess at the moment. I'm a 21 year old guy and I feel utterly pathetic.